I have a friend who is my “secret” press agent. If I know it then how can it be a secret you ask? My letting him have his “secret” is just my way of giving him a false ego boost. (He is that type of person) Besides, he really likes to tell my stories. I am sorry World. The only problem is he uses my real name when telling them. So everyone gets to meet me long before I meet them. So I rarely get to make a first impression on my own.


I will not reveal my friend’s real name. I will call him A.D.D. He is a public speaker amongst other things. But privately he has A.D.D. tendencies in his conversations. The topic of conversation can change without warning with him. Usually mid sentence. Here is an example. But I need to set it up first here. He got married a couple of months ago. (This is a clue) He married a nice woman who I have (And I am just kidding here.) nicknamed, “Easily Amused”. But it also gave him another nickname. “End of the Long Line of Losers”. Soul mates. So sweet. You could get diabetes just looking at them. Sorry. His A.D.D. was rubbing off on me. I need to shower. Here is the story. We were driving down a busy road in my truck. The topic was he was talking about the photo package for his wedding that was coming up. This is what he said. “The photo package was a good deal on the prints because we should join a dodge ball league.” He saw a sign on the side of the road advertising a dodge ball league. At that moment, I got mental whiplash trying to figure out the connection in that sentence.


Another warning on him. His A.D.D. is also in his fingers. Especially when there is a TV remote in his hand. You can watch 20-30 shows in a half hour when he has control of the remote. He will claim otherwise. But I am not exaggerating.


Want to meet him?


Here is how. I am going to make a game out of it. Like “Where’s Waldo”. If you are in Western New York. Especially the Buffalo area. Take a laser pointer with you as you are going about town. Wave it around. If from out of nowhere a man in a nice business suit starts chasing the laser dot. Congratulations! You have found A.D.D. if you do not have a laser pointer, you can still play the game. Just wrap a tennis ball with tin foil and bounce it around. For the best results play on a sunny day.


WARNING: If you do find him, approach with caution.

He is called A.D.D. for a reason. It is very dangerous to be between him and a shiny object.