believe in God. But I am very skeptical of religion. Especially any organized
ones. Especially if they sponsor “bake sales”. And on top of it provide
“Kool Aid” to wash it down. And don’t get me started on any that sanction
suicide bombings. Religion kind of brings my own suspicions. I know I was raised
Catholic. Please no condolences. Just some understanding. If at all possible. I
just want to say that I failed at being Catholic on a level almost close to that
of Judas. Even Judas would probably go, “Ewww!” I do not go to Church. In
fact it is the only I have ever successfully given for Lent. So I decided to
just go with it. I have only been in church for weddings and funerals in the
last decade. Both are basically the same ceremony for “It’s Over!” I know
I will have someone in my life saying, “You say that now but one day you will
get married and do the whole church thing blah blah blah …blah.” This person
will most likely be married. So the opinion is biased. In a big way. But maybe
so. Maybe I will. But it will be an honest ceremony. I would have lots of
candles. (Not to mention alcohol.) I am nothing if not romantic. (I heard that!)
But I am going to be real. As the ceremony goes on and the candles burn down
industrial supersonic air conditioners will be turned on. Thus, simulating Hell
Freezing Over. I also guarantee a shotgun will involved too. Hopefully, one with
a toe trigger.
But let me
get back on track.
Since I do
not go to church you would think Sundays would be fun on a whole new level of
Sodom and Gomorrah for me. I am not that lucky. In fact neither were the people
of Sodom and Gomorrah at the end. They were in fact getting on too much with the
“Lucky’s”. Basically, they were being that house the cops are always being
called to. And we all know the cops eventually get pissed off into a beating.
God said that Sundays should be filled with prayers and penances. Since I was
not going to the ceremony it was going to come to me. Hence forth, I was going
to be anointed a Buffalo Bills fan. Just wait. How can I compare football and
religion? It’s just not right. Listen the people in Green Bay are only going
to take the Lombardi and Farve statues out of church when the Pope shows up for
visit. Accept it.
no one who will pray more that a Buffalo Bills fan. A football season has
replaced the Lenten season for a Bills fan. 40 days of Lent is easy compared 17
weeks (119 days) of a football season. Preseason does not count. And post season
is still for yet again, “Next Year”. So it does not count yet for Bills
fans. And Stop! The Bills’ Super Bowl years of the early 90’s were just a
plot by God to get more fans into “church”. It’s like when the Mega
Millions is over $200 million and everybody goes buys a ticket. And wait.
Surprise! Those people are upset when they do not win. This is how it is to be a
Bills fan. We are willing to do anything to believe. Anything means penance. And
that means being humble. In other words, Bills fans have to surrender a bit of
pride. And make a lot of promises on what you are willing to do if you are just
left alone for a few hours to watch the game. In other words, the penance you
are willing to pay. It won’t be pretty. But that is what you pay for your
transgression. You also cannot have a game without prayer. This
leads to a harsh reality that not all prayers are answered. “Wide Right”.
Right prayer. Wrong answer. God does not allow an instant replay. Until you die.
Remember you will not be given a two minute warning. Harsh but true. It’s the
problem I had with my Catholic education. We were taught that God forgives us.
Just tell the priest and you will be forgiven. However, when you die they will
all be still held against you. So I am forgiven? I being who I am should
probably not be asking this question. But why not at least try. Considering the
coaching that has taken place for the Bills then prayer is all we have as a
viable option. Blind faith is blind faith. So why not have a beer?
important thing that any religion needs is a “Savior” figure. Just give a
little room here. This “Savior” for the Bills has been the person who is the
quarterback. Although for the Bills this duty has been shared slightly with the
running back and the number one wide receiver. It may seem like a lot of
pressure but being on the Bills team it comes with the position. Every Bills
quarterback has had to live up to image of Jim Kelly for the last decade. We
have had quite a few quarterbacks and so far they have really not measured up to
Jim Kelly. So to throw in another religion here the Buffalo fans are like the
Jewish people still waiting on a “Savior.” In the last couple of years, Drew
Bledsoe was handpicked for the role. JP Losman was then drafted to back up the
“Savior”. However, Bledsoe was the victim of a bad scripture of an offense
game plan. So it was off with Bledsoe. JP
Losman got the call and seemed to not being following the game plan fast enough.
He may want to talk like Jim Kelly but he was not Jim Kelly. Welcome now
to Trent Edwards for the role. This is how it goes for “Saviors” here in
Buffalo. Results matter. And results need to happen fast. The two minute offense
is not quick enough in this situation. Basically it is just another case of the
making enough “bread and fish” for the masses. That means “Wins”. No
excuses. Just do it. Trent Edwards may be the new “Savior.” for now. You
know how the job becomes available for someone new. We being Bills fans have
“Crucified” the last one. If you listen to sports talk radio in Buffalo you
will know we are very good at “Crucifying.” We are a blue collar city that
is still very good at the use of hammer and nails. It may be the “nail
holes” that is causing havoc with the quarterbacks throwing percentages. This
may seem harsh. But that is how it goes. Harsh winters with harsh fans. But if
religion was easy then everyone would be signing up for it. Buffalo Bills are
also not an easy team to follow. And hopefully we do not have to follow them to
Toronto or Los Angeles. Instead, maybe the Buffalo Bills will win the Super
Bowl. A Super Bowl victory would be on par with making it to heaven. But if they
lost fans would feel that they were sent to an existence in Hell. Second place
is just another way to say “close but no cigar.” Catholics call that
purgatory. While it is not Heaven it is most definitely not Hell.
Bills fans will also be somewhat “tortured”. Praying very hard. (I think it
has to do with being in Buffalo). We are desperate for something to get behind
and cheer for. There is a good side of the Bills belief system though. The
“sacramental wine” is served in packs of six. And the “chips” are served
with nacho cheese and maybe even salsa.