Prompted

I have been recently thinking about the semi-autobiographical references in the lyrics of the Pink Floyd album The Wall. I also realized something about Pink Floyd’s music. Everyone knows it. But no one really shares it with others because most of the time their music is played through headphones. But then again these days, with iPods and MP3 players most music is played this way now. Who would ever think there is some nostalgic quality to the “Boom Box”? I have never heard this music with the masses. I never saw Pink Floyd in concert. Well not the band. I did pay to see their “Light Show on Tour”. Talk about being pretentious. There is band so popular that people were willing to pay just see their stage show with the music coming out of a “boom box”. Don’t tell U2 that this could be a possibility for them too. But with concert prices this day I recommend cheap drugs and waving a flashlight around in your basement to achieve the same effects.

Pink Floyd music puts me into weird head space. I like it. But lately I have been spending way too much time there.

I recently had a minor accident that is going to leave me a nice souvenir for a while. I do not want to go into the details. They may flip people out. I also started to write notes about the incident. And it started to lead to way too many tangents. It also revealed more issues were underlining too. It was leading to more issues than a magazine rack. So I decided to put away the notes on this one. I will save the material for a later time. It may be subtext to something I may write later on. I am not sure of when or where. It will fit somewhere when the time is right. It is just causing way too much time in the headspace. And resulting in the usually battle of devices and vices.

I also realized a lot of my recent writings have come from the internal spark. And I was spending too much trying to consistently find that source. I need to find develop other external sources to prompt me into writing. I did have one partial success with this method years ago. The prompt “A Nick in Time” did lead to my winning with my short screenplay Customer Service Representative: Nick. (However, I still wish the production company did fall through making it. But I don’t want to revisit that.) So lately, I started subscribing to get writing prompts. I am going to be using them from time to time. I am just going to go with the mental flow they may cause. I am not going to try to fit them into any fixed format either.

Prompt: have a dialogue with the devil on your shoulder.

    “If you are going to sit there could you at least lose some weight?”

    ”That weight is your conscience.”

    ”And how could that be?”

    ”All of your feelings are the equivalent of potato chips.”

    ”But they are filling.”

    ”Nothing but empty calories. But don’t get me wrong I really like the ranch flavored one.”

    ”Well, I’m going to have salt and vinegar today. So take that!”

    ”Right back on you…(softly) Idiot.”

Prompt: picnic

Ironically, the environmentalists were very upset when the ants arrived at the picnic. Probably it was because they did not bring a dish to pass.

Prompt: the animals’ perspective at the zoo


“You would be pissed off too. If I paid $10 to walk through your home and then demanded you to perform tricks too.”

    
 

“I bet you I could scare that one over there.” “I back that bet with my bananas.”

    

    ”At this point I am pretty much numb to the sound of tapping on the glass to get my attention.”

    ”Damn! They have such ugly babies.”

Prompt: longing

    Longing is the feeling that does not seem to fade away with time.

 

More prompting to come…

 

 

September 3, 2010 | foley | No Comments »

Mr. Boyle, Mr. Pascal Can Either One of You Please the Court?

At some age you begin to see the wisdom of certain maxims. Such as “Don’t judge a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes.” In this modern age, of listening to talk radio while in the car seems like the way any out there choose to get around that premise. There is a big difference between observing a person’s behavior and actually trying to understand that behavior. It may seem like a bad idea. However, we only have so much time of this planet to engage in new activities. Especially those of other people. It is also part of the human condition to judge others. The problem is when those out there who are spewing their personal judgments are becoming overly sanctimonious and belligerent.

So here is my judgment based more on curiosity than anything else. I am beginning to wonder about the rise in popularity in body piercings and tattoos. I am not about to stop it, But at times I fail to see the point. But I have a possible theory on why. I think those people are preparing for the future. The daily news outlets along with all of its pundits who are constantly telling us that our only future option is that we are “fucked”. We are going to end up in a “Road Warrior Scenario” as a society. But the human race is also so vain too. They always want to be fashionably prepared at all costs on top of it. So they are getting ready with piercings and tattoos. So when they shit hits the fan all they will have to do is a quick costume change. I think this proposes a possibility for future investment in the mean time. Just in case. Somehow things do work out. I am going to share my ideas with anyone out there with more scientific knowledge than myself. All I ask. If you are successful in developing them then please send me a check for 1% of your earnings. Here they are the ideas. First, silly putty should be altered so it can act as “spackle” for human flesh. Like divots on a golf course some piercings will need to be replaced. Second, graffiti remover formula needs to be adjusted so that it can easily be sprayed on. And like spray tan there needs to be many colors and tones to match the variety of human skin conditions. These inventions will convert the human form into the equivalent of an Etch-A-Sketch. I know people who have piercings and tattoos and they all say that they will always want them. I have learned that no one accumulates age without some degree of “buyer’s remorse”.

However, I am not above body modifications myself. I just don’t have them done by professional. I am a “do-it-yourselfer”. I will spare the details of my latest misadventure. (But I will say I now feel way too much sympathy for the plight of hamburger on a grill.) I realize than I am going to have somehow make life easier along with better preparation for myself and find a way to date a nurse. I need to find a way to kill “two birds with one stone“. Also I want to know how it feels to have hands on universal personal care for once. I would like better customer service. I am such a dreamer.

So the preceding was the outline to the thought process for another idea to this posting.

There is another thing that is held up as an example of our life on this planet being in peril. But I think that example when you get into it is just a manifestation of an emotional state. (That last sentence makes me sound like I am smoking a bit of the “Freud” here.) And that thing is oil. Oil can be translated as the physical representation for love. They say love makes the world go round. Try filling the car’s tank with love and see how far you make it around the world. Oil like love never seems to be in enough supply that is readily available when you want it. Desperate when you need it. One group tells you there is more to be tapped into underground. The other says you better use it with caution because it is all about to go away. Love like oil never seems to be priced just right. People want it for free. But people are trying to get it for free. They think they know the whole truth about it. And want to develop alternative sources for obtaining it. Oil is never used efficiently. Any device that uses it frequently breaks down and needs costly repairs. This is why a good mechanic can make as much money as a therapist. And both require insurance and vast amounts of paperwork to acquire ownership of it. Everyone who tries to control seems like they have no soul. People even start big fights even war over love too. Ask Helen of Troy and anyone in the midst of divorce. It is a really messy cleanup when you do not use it the proper way. However, that may have been the goal. No matter what it will always get people to act and over react.

Everyone wants love. Deep down it is all just a scheme to market and exchange of some fluids. Getting service with a smile.

I heard someone say, “It all comes down to mathematics to solve life’s questions and equations.”

The reality is for most of us it is a haphazard attempt in “hydraulics” with the possible help of Barry White.

The future is not about plastics. It is in lubrication. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. Just have to find someone listening for the squeak. And also has the grease.


August 17, 2010 | foley | No Comments »

Reconfiguring the Scorecard

I really like this “Information Age” we are in. However, I am getting a little tired on the over reliance of so-called “expert testimony”.

I DO NOT ENDORSE THE PRODUCT IN THIS CLIP. It is just a metaphor for a bigger idea in this post.

 


I reference that clip to emphasize that beneath it all there is a thin layer of bullshit to it All of the news outlets have experts on and do not have any real debate with them for the most part. The questions are set ups for them to spew their “facts”. It is more of a sales pitch for whatever book or DVD they are shilling. It is kind of like this scene from Good Will Hunting.
 

 

The problem with so called experts is that they give off the sense that their knowledge came solely from “Divine Intervention”. And so you had better not questioned the “Divine” a.k.a. “Them”. They do not want to let you know that like everyone else it was rounds of “trial and error” that lead to success. No one ever hears about testing trials of WD 1 through 39. Or the poor bastard who had to test Preparation A through G.

 

Here are three people I have been listening to over the past week. It is their stories that have influenced the framing for this post.

  1. Mike Birbiglia’s story of his awkwardness in trying to get his first kiss as a young boy. It was told in an episode of This American Life . (Go to about 9:35 mark for the start of his story.)
  2. Henry Rollin’s misadventures in traveling as told in the story, Eric the Pilot Also his story called, “The Undoing of a Man” which is on the CD Live at the Westbeth Theater. It is a story about his lacking any real idea about domestic living in the house he had just purchased. (Sorry no direct links available)
  3. Kevin Smith’s handling of criticism.

     

I do like going hiking through the woods. I also like trying to learn new things from time to time too. And right now it is geocaching. Yes, I am using billion of dollars in satellite technology to find Tupperware bowls hidden in the woods. I recently got hold of a GPS unit and it came without the instruction manual. This is a metaphor to my life’s existence. There have been so many things in my life that I have had to figure out on my own. “Being lost in the woods” is nothing new to me. Plus I am also a typical genetically wired male and the last thing I want is to be caught looking at an instruction manual. So I am trying through “trial and error” with this GPS unit to figure out how it really works. The results at this point have been clumsy at best. There is a part of me that wishes someone would rip the unit out of my hands and show me how to properly use it. This notion applies to other aspects of my life too. But patient, reassuring teachers with a good sense of humor are few and far between. (I really wish someone else would make the sandwich for once.) I also realized another thing while I have been stumbling through the woods with a GPS unit. That is. I am not as prepared as I think I am. I have done geocaching before with others and did have success finding caches. (But I am going to spare the details of the “Jeep Incident”. I will say just say when going offroading that needs an outboard motor and ends up needing a tow truck with a long winch there is a problem. And contrary to the opinion of those who witnessed the “Incident”. It was not my fault!) I have gone out on my own twice so far. I downloaded the right coordinates. I studied the maps. And so far my score is 0-2. I searched and searched with no luck. And I thought each cache had been lost and posted that to the website. I thought the owners of the caches may want to check them out. Here is the rough part for me. Right after I had posted my lack of finding. Others posted they had indeed found the cache. Here is the kicker. They had found them on the same day I was looking for them. The lesson is that I cannot seem to find things on my own. And this has broader implications on my life.

I know I am into many esoteric things. I will always be for the most part too. The problem will always exist with this lifestyle is that the “allies” will be few but the “enemies” will be in mass. This is the scorecard I am playing with and against. I came up with this analogy of my single/singular life. Alone and going about in a public setting, I will for the most part always be seen as someone who is “wearing a hockey mask”. The lone man will always be seen as something to fear. People will always be trying to figure out if I match the latest release of the police sketch artist’s rendering. And they are at the ready at the first sign of trouble to hit the Emergency Alert System. It can be awkward for me on my own at public settings. My people watching habits tend to come off as a bit creepy. It makes me seem like a potential stalker. With today’s gas prices I am not about to take that up as a hobby. And besides I do not have the time to dig a pit in my basement. But I do have a bucket of lotion. But the lambs are never quiet.

It is hard to find people to do things with. Most of my friends are now married with children. (The worse of STD’s) And this has changed their openness to new things. They are always locked into Alpha male status mode. They need to protect their clan no matter what. Nothing unknown can get through their perimeter. In order for it to get past the defenses and allowed in, it first must get the “dog treatment”. It must be thoroughly sniffed out and then pissed on before it can be allowed to stay within their territory. And everything being done must have a defined purpose to it. Otherwise, it is just nonsense and therefore a waste of time. The idea of any type “experimenting” triggers their parental alarms. They need a Kid’s Menu option ready at all times. I cannot say it is a bad thing. It is just their nature now. And like so many relations they only seem to coexist to degree with Holiday events on the calendar. What does this all mean for me? I need to make adjustments to the parameters of my social being.

Heckle needs a Jeckle.

 

 

 

 

  Metric – Gold Guns Girls .mp3  
   
Found at bee mp3 search engine
August 7, 2010 | foley | No Comments »

Coach; Please Take Me Out of this Ballpark.

This post came from a sudden urge. I will go into specifics in a bit.

A sudden urge results when a situation develops around you. However, at the same moment you are not prepared with the right tools to handle the urge. You know. A good looking woman. The stun gun holster is empty. Catch a chipmunk. Duct tape is empty. Have to blow Chunks. The dog, Chunks is back at home. The Swedish Bikini Team lands in your campsite. And you are in the midst of re-enacting a scene from Deliverance. If they would have radioed ahead you may have just waited. You get the point. It is frustrating to find yourself in a situation you can’t resolve they want you would’ve wanted. You can only imagine how the moment would’ve played out had you been in deed prepared. In your mind, you would have executed your game plan with perfection.

An urge can have a positive (Aaaah!) or a negative (Ugggh!) result. It all depends on what you want to achieve. It also depends on whether you are overcoming a challenge or to have an excuse to explain. This experiment can be observed in a bar on any given night.

Now on the specifics of what influenced this post. The other day, on lunch break I had to run a few errands. I needed to also get lunch during this time. So I stopped at Sub shop chain that is found about every half mile. It was about 12:30PM. As the woman behind the counter was making my sub. A loud mouth and soon to be revealed idiot walked in. And wanted to know why the breakfast menu option was no longer available. He could not accept the explanation and became ridiculously argumentative. I was on the clock per say and this idiot made it way too far in life not to know what fucking time it was. I had to make a quick stop at a drug store after work that day too. One item. In and out. At most a two minute mission. Little did I know? I was about to be proven overly optimistic with my game plan. The drug store’s name states “Right and Helpful”. So I grabbed the item needed. There was a man at the counter ahead of me. He had quite an amount of items he was purchasing. The cashier totaled and bagged the items. She gave him his total due. And he just stood there doing nothing. Then he told the cashier he was waiting for his wife who was still shopping and she had the money. I stood there and just gave him an “evil stare”. And yet he felt no shame what so ever. A few minutes later, the wife came to the counter. She had a fully loaded cart and a bunch of issues with that week’s sales flyer. I just stared at them. And still no sense of shame from them. The problem with trying to use Jedi Mind Tricks on idiots is you need to have a brain to be able to target on. People like them and the other guy should only go out in public if they are wearing helmets. Because people like them give me an urge. And one of these days, I may just be prepared by carrying a baseball bat. I would then be able to play the Human version of the “Whack-a-Mole” game. For once I want to feel amused for having to be around people like this. Plus, “I’ve got mad hits like Rod Carew.”

However, our society for the most part cannot act on its sudden urges for the most part. Society for the most part would completely fall apart. Even worse than how it appears on the evening news. Can you imagine everyone taking turns on the Maury Povich Show waiting for the DNA test results?

They are going to be bringing back the cartoon, Beavis and Butthead. This may make some people think that society is going down hard for the count. I think we need stupid characters to point out the greater stupidity of it all. And hopefully, have a laugh or two from their observations.

It has to start somewhere.



Someone needs to bring back the fun. Someone needs to bring the “Weee” back into this WeeeTarded world.

July 23, 2010 | foley | No Comments »

Authentic

I am beginning to think that the barrage of pharmaceutical ads for a variety of symptoms has had an impact on people’s attitude. In a way the ads have infected how people look at others. It comes down to this. It is way too easy to get a prescription. It is the illusion of the “quick fix”. All you have to do is swallow and the problem is solved. This mentality has also been subversive in how people view others. However, it takes way more of an effort to understand the script of another person’s existence.

I am also aware of how our society has come to accept “Reality TV” as a valid representation of any person who appears on one of those shows. However, these people are really being created through the filming and editing process of the show’s behind-the-scenes producers. In our mass media age, anything a person says or does can be altered by this process. I am a fan of the Keith and the Girl podcast and many of the guests on the show are comedians. There are quite a few of them who have been contestants on The Last Comic Standing. They all tell the story of how they did not have to stand in line to audition. Their agents did it for them and told them when to show up to do their routine. How they all knew most of the comedians involved already. They also told how they were filmed and how it was changed by the final edit of the show. How their jokes were altered by the edits. Taglines for the jokes were turned into the punch line. In the end, the comedians all had pretty much the same feeling about the show. It was crap. But it was a good way to get their names out there to more people. I am also pretty much skeptical of any reality show contest that has a phone number to vote for your favorite performer of that episode. These vote tallies are never revealed. There is no outside third party monitoring the voting process to help insure the true results. After the 2000 Presidential election, I have begun to feel that in this country we are no longer capable of holding a real legitimate election.

Comedian Doug Stanhope has just posted an article that fits into what I have just stated above. He also feels that his soul has been tainted because he was in the original preview pilot for The Last Comic Standing.

It is hard to be yourself in these modern times. I was thinking about this in another segment of my life. I do not get into much (if at all) in this blog. It is not out of shame or such. I know this blog and that segment would be a hard fit to bring together at this point. And if I did I would spend way too much time trying to explain it and defend it to people who should not get a say in the matter. There is a time and place for everything but not for everyone.

I work for a company that is probably in the Fortune 500 listings. I am guessing about that based on the fact that I cannot afford to buy a share of their stock. I am just going to leave the company nameless. I also want to stay off Human Resources and the Legal Department’s radar to be safe too. The company recently issued its policy for employee use of social network websites. The wanted employees to know their duty is to not to do harm to the company’s image. As I read through the policy I am not sure if I can even mentioned that I am employed at all. I feel like I am in some quasi Witness Protection program. If so I want to be hanging out with “Good Fellas”. Companies want some loyalty. (Loyalty has become a big issue over the last few days with Lebron James incident. I heard a sports analyst sum it up best when it comes to loyalty. He said. When companies stopped giving out pension plans, loyalty was no longer a real option.) I know companies need to have some control on how they operate. But wanting everyone to have “blind faith” can be very dangerous. “Blind faith” is part of what lead to economic meltdown. I think employees should get the same protection as people on the commentary tracks of DVD’s get. “The opinions stated on this DVD are not necessarily those of the Parent Corporation, producers, etc.” And besides if my smart ass comments and insights is the “lynch pin” that brings down the company, their business plan was big time flawed to begin with. People want to be themselves and bring what is within them to work. But it is tough with all of the over-sensitive workplace conduct policies they have to navigate. The current tough economic conditions have brought a lot of fear in to this equation too. But if we could be ourselves at work the self help industry along with daytime television would collapse. If companies are so worried about their image then they should go after and shut down the real domain where their image takes a hit from their workers. The bars. The original of social networking sites. You know why they call it “Happy Hour”? Because you are so happy that after an 8-10 hour work day you finally get to speak your mind. And there is nothing like a cold beer to fuel it. Another note to management. Those Dilbert comics on the bulletin board were not placed there for the irony.

In times like these, I try to seek media that has some sense of honesty about its content. I am a fan of the opening monologues for The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. He does use cue cards and shoots from the hip per say. His monologue is not just joke after joke in order to prime his studio audience.

I am also looking forward to reading comedian Mike Birbiglia upcoming book “Sleep Walk with Me and Other Painfully True Stories”. I like how he takes his life’s awkward moments and finds the humor in them.

I also try to catch certain shows on TV (when I have cable available) or through the Internet. I am becoming more and more a fan of Mike Rowe from the Discovery Channel’s show Dirty Jobs. You can tell he is actually doing the work himself. There are no tricks of filming or editing to fool you into believing he is doing it. Just watch his reaction during a job. It is genuine. I also still admire his TED speech on how work is viewed and how it really should be seen. The other show on the channel is The Deadliest Catch. The show is the chronicle of Alaskan crab fisherman. A job 99% of the world would never be able to handle. The men on the fishing boats are rough and tough under harsh weather conditions. They are also complex people with all of their strengths and flaws for the world to see. I do not feel they are edited and made into two dimensional stock TV characters. If these guys felt they were being shown in a way that wasn’t them that they would walk away from the show. And the producers of the show would have also been thrown off their boats into the Bering Sea. The face of the show was embodied by Capt Phil Harris. He said “A fairytale starts out ‘Once upon a time.’ A fisherman’s story starts out, ‘This ain’t no bullshit.’” Phil Harris became the center of the show this season with his own death. It was controversial but Phil believed his story needed to have an ending. And if this was the way it was. So be it. He has shown all the dimensions of himself for 5-6 seasons of the show and why stop before the final end. You know how you can determine when you have met a truly authentic person? When you get to know a person you start to realize you have never read a character like this in a book or seen on a movie or TV screen. And you want to share that persons story.

Mike Rowe’s tribute to him sums up why he made his mark on this world.

A few years ago, the producers of The Deadliest Catch made a reality show competition called “America’s Toughest Job”. It was about a group of contestants would do tough and dirty jobs for prize money. The show was also a mistake. The stakes in the show were nothing compared to the people who really have to do it for a living. And they do without having really safety nets and insurance waivers. You cannot take individuals with personality spots to fill and try to make them into real people of character. It just does not work that way. Our modern media age wants to trick you into believing that. The personalities on the shows like The Real World will for the most part come and go without leaving any lasting impression. People of character, like Phil Harris stay with you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Note to Phil. If you come across a person named Norm where you are. Trust me. He has a voice that can’t be missed. Have a beer with him. He was a lot like you.

 

 

 

 

 

July 15, 2010 | foley | 1 Comment »
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