I hate this time of year. And it’s not about the weather. December/January is when all “The best and worse of” get published pretty much everywhere. A lot of them are nothing but “Click Bait”. It is also the time of all the award shows. Most of them are “an Apple vs an Orange” arguments. They really aren’t a good metric to use to judge one against another.
However, if you are trying to create anything you will unavoidably be compared to them. Then the question “Why can’t you do that?”
I also get an Annual Report from WordPress on the traffic to my blog. I also get a different monthly chart from my web hosting company. The two of them are completely different from each other that I cannot draw an accurate conclusion at all about my site.
My site has not had my comments lately either. However, when I read other sites I am thankful that I am nowhere close to having to deal with Level: Troll comments. I have my site set that I have to approve the comments. I will as long as there engaging the post. And it does not have to exactly agree with my point of view. I am willing to try to have a conversation. I occasionally get the “You are so stupid. So Shut the Fuck Up!” I don’t approve this. Not because I can’t take it. It is because that statement is nothing but Noise Without any Substance behind it. And the same the same time the comment that says “I found your post interesting. I will check back for more in the future.” It is positive. However, it is generic. Plus more times than not the person’s URL is bogus website of “spams and scams”.
I need to figure out a better feedback loop for the future of this site. Using Web Stats is at the moment a very unproductive use of time with frustrating guess work. I also do not have anyone at the moment in my daily life to “debrief” with. There is no way I will ever mention this with my coworkers. I remember years ago reading from various writers stating that the “Friends and Family” plan will fail as a feedback method. The reality is they are Indifferent to what I am doing. I am not saying this out of anger or disappointment. I am just recognizing how things are at the moment. Their lives have obligations and catalysts that are not mine. I get it. However, they are things I will never have for myself. It is what it is. So I have to leave it at that. Plus, I do not want to anymore to be Mentally Waterboarding them with questions such as “Did you read it?” Or “What do you think about it?” I need to get away from the Painful Awkwardness that this causes.
The worse part has been it has caused me to be Indifferent about my work the last few months. I also slid a bit into what Seth Godin calls “The Tyranny of Being Picked”.
I needed to make that confession. Because it is time to get moving again.
Until recently, I never fully grasped the idea that “the creative process is ugly.” And why many Creators say that is important to step back and take breaks. (For more on this read Everything I Know by Paul Jarvis)
The month of December for me is like trying to pound the square peg into the round hole. I know what I want and what I need. However, I am fully aware of what I am actually going to get. And every year, that “chasm” seems to be widening. It has also been the year that can be summed up as being set to the musical framing and concepts of a Pink Floyd album. Communication breakdowns. And the seismic “shifts and rifts” in many of my relationships at this time. Which in most cases it was inevitable.
When things are too much for him comedian Bill Burr says, “I’m tapping out.” And this time of year is not meant for everyone. Just watch the evening news, between terrorists and shoppers there aren’t many “shiny examples of humanity”. And this time of year is never practiced with “moderation”.
So for the next month, I am stepping back from my engagement with social media (Facebook, Twitter) and all of its seasonal noise for this time of year. I cannot say completely but it will be dramatically reduced for the next month. For the most part, I just need a break from it. Catch up on reading time. Finish the half written blog posts that piled up. See what ideas are remaining on the notepads. Actually watch the documentaries in the Netflix queue. Are all amongst the things that I need to clear up and out.
On this Veteran’s Day, I was remembering the opening scene from the movie Saving Private Ryan.
I want to comment on this opening. I remember seeing this in the theater and sensed that this was not going to be your typical “John Wayne” style of a WWII movie. The flag is shown with the sun backlighting it. The music is very mellow compared to the old war movies where the music is more of an upbeat “March to Battle”. The Old Man walking and you can tell he may have survived the war but time still has taken its toll on him. Also notice how the color of the scene is neutral. Where the older movies tended to make the “heroes” bright and the “enemy” darker. This scene shows how you can convey emotion without the need for dialogue or narration. And you really do not have to put images “right in the face” of the viewer to make them feel an emotion.
The song was composed by John Williams and was titled “Hymn to the Fallen”.
I used to every morning while taking a break do my Lumosity exercises while listening to my daily podcasts. The public Wi-Fi spot I able to use has become an unreliable signal. It was upsetting when the connection was lost during one of these sessions. I cannot use the company’s computer to do them because there are strict controls for their use. I am pretty sure if I even told you that if I even turned one on. I may have to kill you. It sounds extreme. But someday it might happen someday.
I downloaded the Tetris app for my Kindle. I know originally I wanted to keep games off it. But I have found it useful to kill time usually waiting in lines. I never get interrupted. However, reading a book will assure an interruption.
I know the game seems simple. I still do not know how they can make a movie about it?
I was playing this morning. I got to thinking about what it may be representing. The metaphor.
You move the pieces to places you think the fit the best.
You make adjustments based on the previous moves along with trying to anticipate the next one coming up.
The speed, pace and time of the game is always working against you.
The game is not over because the pieces do not fit.
The game is over when the “spaces” between the pieces becomes “unmanageable”.
And then it is time for a change.