It was just another coming home from work this evening. I turned on to my street. I live at the end of the street. I looked down and there was a State Police Trooper parked in my driveway. And no it was not “About time”. It had to be major because if it wasn’t then it would have probably been the local police. I could think to myself that this was not good. What did one of my tenants do? One of my tenants is a teacher. Could this be 6:00 news material? And I being the landlord meant it was going to lead to a whole series of extra questions for myself. As I approached my home I saw they had a car pulled over in my driveway. The car at least did not belong to any of my tenants. The trooper had a young couple detained in the car and he informed me they would be out of the way as soon as possible. I said it would not be a problem. Now I had another good reason other than a forecasted rainstorm coming to rake up the leaves in the yard. I now got to watch my favorite drama/sitcom COPS live. I t looks like Saturday came early this week. And it was live in my driveway!
It played like an episode in a way. Criminals should watch this show to learn what does not work when apprehended.
In this case, it was a young couple who I would say was about 17-20 years old. And you could tell by the looks that all was not well. The price of my entertainment. Another trooper car came on to the scene. Two more troopers came to search the vehicle. They checked the usual areas in the car first. Glove box, ashtray and cup holder. Surprise! Surprise! Though anti-climatic. But dependable locations for a find. Little mini vials were found. You guessed it. Drugs!
Then came all the usual questions and answers.
Trooper: “What do you have these?”
Suspect (the Female): “I don’t know. Do you think I would be stupid to drive with drugs in the car?”
NOTE: If criminals were smart then the show COPS would not be still on the air after 20+ years. And we all know the answer to her question.
The Trooper then interviewed the male suspect who I assume was her boyfriend. And by the way the girlfriend was the driver of the car. As the trooper was talking to him I overheard the usual response, “It’s her car and I do not know about any drugs.” But he was a boring interview on the whole. I guess he was throwing her “under the bus” not to save himself but to set a chance for future angry makeup sex. It is just a theory.
At this moment, I got my typical inappropriate given the circumstances. Call it my “curse”. Call it my “gift”. Today, it is reader’s choice. But I wanted a little more COPS style drama at this moment. And at this moment, I wish I had true Jedi powers because I just wanted to put a thought in the young man’s head. A simply thought like…
Or I could get to yell, “He is the droid you’re looking for!”
Next, came out the handcuffs for both of the suspects. And I want to know why more times than not a woman cries when handcuffs are put on?
The troopers did a second search of the car. They looked in the trunk for more treasures. It was good to know that the young “innocent until proven guilty” suspects were prepared for an emergency. With such items as jumper cables, snow shovel, flashlight and a box of extra car stereos. I am guessing the last item is going to be rewarded with an extra charge.
This whole episode was almost a two hour process. But it was an interesting thing to watch none the less.
I must commend the real show for doing a good job on editing such episodes to hit the highlights of such moments.
But I got to watch it for free. And live shows these days usually cost much than they are worth.
It is maybe hard to believe but going to the movies is not a social event. I know that there is usually a crowd in the theater. However, it is not a social event. You go there with maybe a friend and there are usually other people in the theater. However, when the movie is over there is no interaction with any other person who was within the theater. In fact, most of the people leave quietly. So I am not sure why people call this social interaction?
I really like watching movies. However, for me it is like studying a textbook trying to figure how the movie “works” or doesn’t work. I know I look at movies in a way that most people do not. The “entertainment” value is not the first thing that captures my attention. But it is there, somewhere. There are so many things to a movie for me. It is just not dialogue and action. I am “studying” all the other parts of the movie. The camera shots, sound, music, editing, etc. I also know that most people watching are not conscious of such things. I also know that people do not have to be aware of such things to enjoy a movie. I do not want to come off as being a “snob”. But my movie “taste” is not really one for the masses.
I had Monday off from work. And that meant it was movie day. I saw Kevin Smith’s latest Zach and Miri Make a Porno. I like his how he uses humor to offset the emotions of the characters. Just a heads up if you see it. You will not look at chocolate frosting the same way. And I found out there was a move called the “Dutch rudder”. Go figure. This was the second Kevin Smith movie I saw in a theater BY MYSELF. Yes! I had the whole theater to myself. I like going to the first showing of the day. Attendance is usually at a minimum and besides most people do not know how to behave at a movie anymore. In other words, SHUT UP AND WATCH THE MOVIE. This is the second Kevin Smith movie I saw by myself. It was Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. I did not see Jersey Girl in the theater. So it may have been three. Nothing personal but even Kevin Smith picks on that film a bit too. I did see Clerks by myself by the end of the showing at the theater. There was a small crowd in the theater and most of them were over 65 years old. There was a young couple on the other side of the theater and they were watching each other more than the movie. The elderly crowds (about 20 of them) were there because they saw a good review for in the local paper. And the movie theater is known for showing more Academy Award style movies and foreign films. Clerks is not a style of film usually shown there. As you can imagine the “humor” of the movie was lost on them. In fact, they all got mad and walked out. As the old woman behind me said as I was laughing my ass off, “That is the problem kids find these types of things funny. They should be ashamed”. That was 14 years ago and I still find it funny. That old woman will be disappointed that I have still not yet grown into being “ashamed”. Maybe next year. But knowing me. I would not bet on that happening.
This is a posting I have been trying to put together for a couple of weeks now.
I also just re-read the book The Tender Bar by JR Moehringer. It is a memoir about how the people of a local bar shaped his experiences and being growing up. It is an interesting view of how people shape our “social makeup”. This book had some influence (along with a few more) on this posting.
Pearls and Swines is one of my favorite daily comic strips to read. It is subtly demented. And I like that. This was a strip that fits into my posting.
If you are like me there are days in which you have the feeling that you may not exist. People move about like you are not even there. It happened again the other day to me. I stopped by my local pizzeria to grab a couple of slices for quick bite to eat while running a few errands. It was lunchtime and I do realize that such places do get very busy. But I stood there for about five minutes and not one person acknowledged my existence. It would have been nice if I heard at least, “I’ll be right with you” But I got nothing. So I walked out. And now I need to find a new local pizzeria. I know we are in trying economic times. But here is a clue. The real major cause behind declining revenues for businesses is POOR CUSTOMER SERVICE.
But sadly I do desire attention. I am constantly checking my website stats to see what people are reading on my site. It is a hard way to measure the effect my writing has. A couple of months ago I bought a copy of Wired magazine. It featured a young woman on the cover and it stated how she improved her website’s traffic. She was good looking and made sure she had her photo taken with celebrities whenever possible. This is not a strategy that I could adopt. I will never be an “Internet Slut”. If that ever did happen you can forget about your 401k plan. The world will end at that instant. She did not produce anything but she was just seen as being next to people who were. I would like to be on the “producing” side. That is why I write.
Although when I was going through the magazine’s website I came across an article for Leia’s Metal Bikini. What can I say? Star Wars had a major influence on many aspects of my life. I know this is pointless given the title of this posting. But I had to share it.
MUSIC: The Rolling Stones
I have had a couple of friends years ago who would do the following. Every time they broke up with a girlfriend they would spend the next month or two contacting all of their previous ex-.girlfriends. I found this to absolutely pathetic. Looking back on all of it. All of those ex-girlfriends were just as pathetic to be willing to play along with this. It was all just wasting time until they found yet another girlfriend. I just could never figure it out. I never wanted to either. I was above such pathetic behavior. But I will now confess that I am not beyond attempting such behavior. I started web searching for a few people I lost touch with. I did find a couple of them but I am not going to contact them. This may look like cyber stalking but it is more like being a distant voyeur. But they all have a new life and it does not involve me which is fine. I realize is that people change. And we cannot control that change in others only ourselves (And that is true if you are very, very lucky. Or medicated to some degree.) The people you know one day are the same people you used to know the next day. I am not sure who said it but its true “You can’t go home again”. I was attempting to recapture “the lightning in the bottle” sense of things and that only happens in the movies. You can let yourself get caught for too long in the “What if?” scenario. Especially, when it comes to the past.
And DO NOT bother asking who they are or who they were? It does not matter in big scheme of things. Besides I am not going to tell anyways.
There was another story that got me thinking about “contacts” but I am going to save that one for a script or part of one someday down the road.
It is a fact to life that you cannot escape. You can only adapt to. That fact is that no matter how hard you try to fight you cannot escape the reality that your social network is going to change. The context of your social network changes slowly over time. It is rarely caused by a sudden drastic change of circumstances. The catalyst that drives your relationships changes because your needs evolve too. But also what you are able or willing to contribute to relationship.
I have resisted the need to have a social network webpage. I have found that many of these pages seem to just nothing but an attempt at self creation. This means that the people are not being totally honest and real. This thought was confirmed in a chapter of the book Freakonomics in which the author profiled people’s stat and found that they were not in line with stats for our society on a whole. People were taller and incomes were higher. So if it may all be bullshit then why are these sites popular? I now know why people flock like crazy to new social network websites. They want to claim their screen name before someone else beats them to it. The guy who has the name wanted has not used his page in over 3 years. And the only “friend” he could find was “Tom”. I do not know why anyone out there would want to even use my “identity”. And sadly not using the name that entirely well on top of it. It seems like adding insult to injury. I am just acting a little too melodramatic. It is my fault that I did not cross the finish line first when it came to claiming my name. There should be some type of appeal process to claim a name. In my case, reclaim my name. I fell like some sort of victim of “identity” theft.
I resisted it for a long time. The many reason is that I did not want to put a “face” to my name. I am trying to be a writer. Honestly, a better writer. I also thought there show be some “air of mystery”. There should be some “imaginary wall” between the writer (me) and the audience (you). I felt that if you know too much about the author then it takes away from the writing piece. There is less of a chance of discovery to be found reading the piece. However, if I wanted to maintain this illusion trying to live a JD Salinger lifestyle then I not should have been writing a blog. It is through the blog I have been slowly chiseling away at the “wall”. So I might as well get with the times and see what happens.
This is what I am not looking for.
I am not interested in 90% of the chances for any type of “reunion”. It is hard to make conversation with people who existed in a moment of time that is no longer part of your life. Especially class reunions. School in all of it forms are not places I want to visit again at. I take to the Mark Twain quote. “Don’t let college interfere with your education.” This is where education happens. Schools are nothing more than glorified “bleacher seats” in life. There is a big world of difference between school life and the real world. Besides, it is time to make connections for a future rather than trying to relive in the past. A past that I was wanting out of when I was going through it. The past lives in a finite form that comes down to “that was then this is now”. In those “reunion” moments all you can honestly talk about is the weather or maybe a sports game with any sense of immediate honesty. I rather be looking forward now. Instead of going back in time.
I do not want to join on-line play groups. I do not want to be a “Mobster”. Nor do I want to be traded for “Pet” points. You may enjoy being in them. But it is a bit creepy. Think about it. It is.
I do not want to nor am I going to take any online pop culture tests about my personality. For example, I am not going to answer 20-30 questions to see which fast-food item reflects my inner being. I do not need all of those questions to answer that one. For me it is the Louie’s Texas Red Hot.
An absolutely disgusting mess to look at.
But with time an acquired taste. Unique even.
Best served with a beer.
I also am wary of making “friends” with “famous” people or groups. I get the feeling all I making “friends” with is the intern who has to maintain the page. And all I will get is postings saying that new t-shirts and coffee mugs are available. And a reminder to vote for them in surveys to make sure they win awards.
What am I looking for?
People who are willing to honestly engage with my work. People who are willing contribute. And help teach me the skills I need to grow. Especially website development at this moment.
But I would like to meet a woman willing to play Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots. Seems just a bit passive aggressive. Doesn’t it? Please put all Freudian analysis in the Comment section below. But the truth is and this non-negotiable. I require a woman with a true “sense of humor”. Because she is going to need it. And then some.
Ultimately, I am going to try something new and be a little more open to the possible of things. As long as it is legal. And hopefully falls within the constraints of my personal budget. Hopefully, whatever may happen is interesting. It is kind of like the premise behind the book Yes Man by Danny Wallace
If you care to join me. Sounds I am starting a cult. (Now that would be power!) And Karma maybe up to something here I found a copy of Join Me by Danny Wallace at the bookstore. And I need to re-evaluate my Karma with yet another year of not being able to vote for a winning candidate. My strategy of voting against any and all incumbent candidates has not brought about any change what-so-ever. Sorry. I am bad.
It is amazing that two people can talk, talk, talk and still talk some more for over two years. And after two years, most people still have no idea where these two people stand.
This is the same premise behind my own religious education as a child. To be honest I have failed at being Catholic. I am not even the Catholic who makes it to Christmas and Easter service. I know I proclaim to be somewhat conservative when it comes to my own political views. But I am the so-called conservative who does not go to church. People like me are in the minority for sure when it comes to being a conservative per say. In fact, I have only been to church in the last decade for weddings and funerals. They are basically the same. They are a ceremony marking that “Things are going to be changing around here!” Plus there is a lot of crying at both them. Some of the crying maybe silent. But it’s there.
The closest thing I have to religion is being a Buffalo Bills fan. Like faith itself. It is not easy. It was easy to believe when the Bills were 4-0 to start the season this year. But after last week’s lost to the Miami Dolphins the faith is being tested. And this week’s game against the New York Jets is a test once again. Especially, now that the Jets have the former Green Bay Packer’s patron saint quarterback Brett Farve playing for them. It will take faith in Bills to achieve victory. Not to mention a better pass rush by the Bills’ defense. Bills fan want to see the afterlife a.k.a. the playoffs this year.
I guess everyone from time to time goes through a phase of questioning one’s own religious beliefs. Even atheists. They never miss a “God” reference. I am not sure why I would do such questioning on my own. I do not have any cause for such action. No wife, kids or medical mystery happening within my life. The common causes for “crisis of faith”. I guess. My “biological clock” does not have any batteries in it. I guess after all of these years there is still some residual effect from my Catholic education.
So what caused these thoughts to come into my head?
I just finished reading the latest book from comedian Lewis Black entitled, Me of Little Faith. It is very humorous take on religion. If you take the subject of religion seriously then I warn you NOT TO READ THIS BOOK. I do not blame him for the thoughts. But I have to give credit where credit is due.
I keep hearing that in troubling times it is important to keep a sense of humor. Now more than ever. I have even heard that a sense of humor is a “gift from God”. Well, if that is true then God’s gift lead me to the principal’s office a few times in school. She did not get the “gift” from God. And I got detention.
But I believe God does have a sense of humor. And if we laughed more it would be good for us. Especially in church. It may improve attendance. I have an idea on how to combine laughs and God’s teaching. I think the lessons of the Bible would catch on better if they were revealed through “knock knock jokes”. Think about it. I wish I could write one right now as example. However, I am not sure how lightning strikes are treated in regards to my homeowner’s insurance policy. Faith versus liability is a very tricky proposition in regards to my deductible.
As Lewis Black said on one his comedy albums about Ireland, “they have successfully combined religion and alcohol. It is enough to make a Jew weep.” So I think there should be an interfaith service on Sundays held at the bar. It starts when the priest and the rabbi walk in. However, the service will be over by kick off time for the football game. Then the “prayers” begin. Depending on how you bet the games. And how big the bookie’s collection agent is.
