The Mad Max Donner Party Survivor Elimination Challenge

I am also looking at DVD’s in the store. I am trying to find the movies that I find to be influential. A few weeks ago, I found Mad Max on DVD. And who could argue with $5 price for it? This is the movie that introduced Mel Gibson to the world. (For better or for worse.)It was also the first time I got to watch it in widescreen format. And with Mel Gibson’s real voice. Yes, they dubbed someone else’s voice into the original issue of the movie. Why? Who knows? There are a few other reasons why I like this movie. Lately, I have been drawn to movies that had a low budget and yet at the same time make something that was very creative. Examples: Kevin Smith’s Clerks, Robert Rodriguez’s El Mariachi, Alex Cox’s Repo Man, John Carpenter movies and anything by the infamous low-budget director/producer Roger Corman.

I am also drawn to movies whose main character could be classified as being an “antihero”. Mad Max falls into this criteria. Plus the movie has some really cool car and motorcycle chases that were done on a low budget.


The following is a thought that goes back a few weeks. So I have been thinking it over. Some people reading this may find this possibly to be funny. And others are going to be a bit pissed off. But as I have said before I have to go with my strongest thought when it comes to writing. You have been warned.

BACKGROUND INFORMATION

I was raised Catholic. And I am still trying to come to terms with it. I was taught that just having a thought about a sinful act was indeed committing the sin. If I went ahead and actually did the sin then I had really sinned. In baseball terms this means one sin equals two strikes. And being myself with my thoughts you can do the math to realize that I am in a lot of trouble. With logic like this it is amazing that any Catholic can make it into Heaven. And yet many Catholics feel they are the only ones who can make it in. Or least they are going to be first in line. I do not want to start a religion argument. I just wanted to give some base line facts about how my thoughts have been shaped by certain forces in my life. So I just might as well go with the flow here. And it may upset some people I know. You would think they would have grown a tolerance to my thoughts.

Back to the Mad Max movie. It is a story about a post – Apocalyptic world where society is starting to break down. Mad Max (Mel Gibson) is a police officer who is trying to maintain some sense of order in this world. It is never explained in the movie what was the actual cause that brought the world into this post – Apocalyptic state. Since the movie was made in the late 1970′s I am going to guess the United States and Russia will have to take blame for it. Seems like old times.

So here come the thoughts.

A few weeks ago, I had watched the movie. And a couple of days later I was on vacation with my friends and their families in Northern Ontario. And here are the thoughts.

“If the world was going to go Mad Max at this moment and this the group I was going to be stuck with. Well. Now what?”

Now what?! Let’s have fun. Let’s make this into a game show. Let’s play Survivor.

About the rules. Since this is my game. I cannot be voted off. I am claiming executive power here. Playing my Cheney card. And doubling down on the W card. But I am sleeping with one eye opened. I am not stupid.

First strategy. In the movies, everyone goes crazy stocking up on food. I would go for real currency for the new world disorder. Raid the liquor store. Stock up on booze and cigarettes. People really cannot go long without the vices. Vice vs. virtue. Bet with the vice. But toilet paper is safe bet in this situation too. In the end, convenience dies hard.

Now the “too little too late” realization. If you are going to be stuck in a survival situation you are going to have to pick wisely. Since you do not know when the shit is going to hit the fan. You are going to have this thought. “I am stuck with you? Damnit!” It is in this moment you realize that you do not screen your friends as well as you think you do. Note to self. Next time there will be a better application process for the next time the world ends. It will include an essay question to answer. “What skills I bring to end of the world?” The other thought is that you do not pack enough the essentials as you think you do. The Boy Scouts have it right. Be Prepared!

So in this new world disorder it is down to supply and demand argument. And then you realize that sadly some people are going to have to go away. Some quicker than others. That is the nature of the game. Not enough to supply everyone. And some are way too demanding on top of it. This is the real Survivor game. Who does not like a good game show? We especially like getting to choose the losers. No one really cares about the winner. The only person who cares about the winner is the individual. The group on the whole wants to name the loser.

Be honest. In any group situation you make a mental list of the “winners and losers”. Not enough of one. Too many of the other.

In this survival situation you also remember the infamous Donner Family dilemma. Some people need to go a little above and beyond with the food situation. You have that brief Hannibal Lecter moment. “What wine will we be serving with Bob?” Then you realize that your “Donner party” eats a lot of shit. The crappy American diet has determined that in terms of nature’s food chain humans are equivalent of corn. Filling yet with no nutritional value. Forget the notion of “tasting like chicken”. Not that I really know. I am just making an educated guess. So you are going to have to learn to be a better fisherman and/or farmer.

I also got a brief thought about playing out “The Last Man of Earth scenario”. Becoming a polygamist via bloodshed seems like a really, really bad idea. I quickly used a glass of bourbon to erase this thought. But if you are going to play out this scenario you may want to find yourself a little closer to the Playboy Mansion. And if you are that Lunatic out there who plans to blow up the world in a big James Bond villain way then please give me a heads up warning. I need to make a road trip.

This is really just extension from the famous quote from while on a family vacation. Everyone’s Dad has said this at one point. So this quote is not specific to any one Dad in particular. “If all of you don’t cut the crap right now! I am going on vacation by myself next year! I swear to God I am!”

These are the thoughts I sometimes have.

I now realize that I am trying to jump the Snake River on the Karma Train.

I hope I make it.