This is a posting I have been trying to put together for a couple of weeks now.
I also just re-read the book The Tender Bar by JR Moehringer. It is a memoir about how the people of a local bar shaped his experiences and being growing up. It is an interesting view of how people shape our “social makeup”. This book had some influence (along with a few more) on this posting.
Pearls and Swines is one of my favorite daily comic strips to read. It is subtly demented. And I like that. This was a strip that fits into my posting.
If you are like me there are days in which you have the feeling that you may not exist. People move about like you are not even there. It happened again the other day to me. I stopped by my local pizzeria to grab a couple of slices for quick bite to eat while running a few errands. It was lunchtime and I do realize that such places do get very busy. But I stood there for about five minutes and not one person acknowledged my existence. It would have been nice if I heard at least, “I’ll be right with you” But I got nothing. So I walked out. And now I need to find a new local pizzeria. I know we are in trying economic times. But here is a clue. The real major cause behind declining revenues for businesses is POOR CUSTOMER SERVICE.
But sadly I do desire attention. I am constantly checking my website stats to see what people are reading on my site. It is a hard way to measure the effect my writing has. A couple of months ago I bought a copy of Wired magazine. It featured a young woman on the cover and it stated how she improved her website’s traffic. She was good looking and made sure she had her photo taken with celebrities whenever possible. This is not a strategy that I could adopt. I will never be an “Internet Slut”. If that ever did happen you can forget about your 401k plan. The world will end at that instant. She did not produce anything but she was just seen as being next to people who were. I would like to be on the “producing” side. That is why I write.
Although when I was going through the magazine’s website I came across an article for Leia’s Metal Bikini. What can I say? Star Wars had a major influence on many aspects of my life. I know this is pointless given the title of this posting. But I had to share it.
MUSIC: The Rolling Stones
I have had a couple of friends years ago who would do the following. Every time they broke up with a girlfriend they would spend the next month or two contacting all of their previous ex-.girlfriends. I found this to absolutely pathetic. Looking back on all of it. All of those ex-girlfriends were just as pathetic to be willing to play along with this. It was all just wasting time until they found yet another girlfriend. I just could never figure it out. I never wanted to either. I was above such pathetic behavior. But I will now confess that I am not beyond attempting such behavior. I started web searching for a few people I lost touch with. I did find a couple of them but I am not going to contact them. This may look like cyber stalking but it is more like being a distant voyeur. But they all have a new life and it does not involve me which is fine. I realize is that people change. And we cannot control that change in others only ourselves (And that is true if you are very, very lucky. Or medicated to some degree.) The people you know one day are the same people you used to know the next day. I am not sure who said it but its true “You can’t go home again”. I was attempting to recapture “the lightning in the bottle” sense of things and that only happens in the movies. You can let yourself get caught for too long in the “What if?” scenario. Especially, when it comes to the past.
And DO NOT bother asking who they are or who they were? It does not matter in big scheme of things. Besides I am not going to tell anyways.
There was another story that got me thinking about “contacts” but I am going to save that one for a script or part of one someday down the road.
It is a fact to life that you cannot escape. You can only adapt to. That fact is that no matter how hard you try to fight you cannot escape the reality that your social network is going to change. The context of your social network changes slowly over time. It is rarely caused by a sudden drastic change of circumstances. The catalyst that drives your relationships changes because your needs evolve too. But also what you are able or willing to contribute to relationship.
I have resisted the need to have a social network webpage. I have found that many of these pages seem to just nothing but an attempt at self creation. This means that the people are not being totally honest and real. This thought was confirmed in a chapter of the book Freakonomics in which the author profiled people’s stat and found that they were not in line with stats for our society on a whole. People were taller and incomes were higher. So if it may all be bullshit then why are these sites popular? I now know why people flock like crazy to new social network websites. They want to claim their screen name before someone else beats them to it. The guy who has the name wanted has not used his page in over 3 years. And the only “friend” he could find was “Tom”. I do not know why anyone out there would want to even use my “identity”. And sadly not using the name that entirely well on top of it. It seems like adding insult to injury. I am just acting a little too melodramatic. It is my fault that I did not cross the finish line first when it came to claiming my name. There should be some type of appeal process to claim a name. In my case, reclaim my name. I fell like some sort of victim of “identity” theft.
I resisted it for a long time. The many reason is that I did not want to put a “face” to my name. I am trying to be a writer. Honestly, a better writer. I also thought there show be some “air of mystery”. There should be some “imaginary wall” between the writer (me) and the audience (you). I felt that if you know too much about the author then it takes away from the writing piece. There is less of a chance of discovery to be found reading the piece. However, if I wanted to maintain this illusion trying to live a JD Salinger lifestyle then I not should have been writing a blog. It is through the blog I have been slowly chiseling away at the “wall”. So I might as well get with the times and see what happens.
This is what I am not looking for.
I am not interested in 90% of the chances for any type of “reunion”. It is hard to make conversation with people who existed in a moment of time that is no longer part of your life. Especially class reunions. School in all of it forms are not places I want to visit again at. I take to the Mark Twain quote. “Don’t let college interfere with your education.” This is where education happens. Schools are nothing more than glorified “bleacher seats” in life. There is a big world of difference between school life and the real world. Besides, it is time to make connections for a future rather than trying to relive in the past. A past that I was wanting out of when I was going through it. The past lives in a finite form that comes down to “that was then this is now”. In those “reunion” moments all you can honestly talk about is the weather or maybe a sports game with any sense of immediate honesty. I rather be looking forward now. Instead of going back in time.
I do not want to join on-line play groups. I do not want to be a “Mobster”. Nor do I want to be traded for “Pet” points. You may enjoy being in them. But it is a bit creepy. Think about it. It is.
I do not want to nor am I going to take any online pop culture tests about my personality. For example, I am not going to answer 20-30 questions to see which fast-food item reflects my inner being. I do not need all of those questions to answer that one. For me it is the Louie’s Texas Red Hot.
An absolutely disgusting mess to look at.
But with time an acquired taste. Unique even.
Best served with a beer.
I also am wary of making “friends” with “famous” people or groups. I get the feeling all I making “friends” with is the intern who has to maintain the page. And all I will get is postings saying that new t-shirts and coffee mugs are available. And a reminder to vote for them in surveys to make sure they win awards.
What am I looking for?
People who are willing to honestly engage with my work. People who are willing contribute. And help teach me the skills I need to grow. Especially website development at this moment.
But I would like to meet a woman willing to play Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots. Seems just a bit passive aggressive. Doesn’t it? Please put all Freudian analysis in the Comment section below. But the truth is and this non-negotiable. I require a woman with a true “sense of humor”. Because she is going to need it. And then some.
Ultimately, I am going to try something new and be a little more open to the possible of things. As long as it is legal. And hopefully falls within the constraints of my personal budget. Hopefully, whatever may happen is interesting. It is kind of like the premise behind the book Yes Man by Danny Wallace
If you care to join me. Sounds I am starting a cult. (Now that would be power!) And Karma maybe up to something here I found a copy of Join Me by Danny Wallace at the bookstore. And I need to re-evaluate my Karma with yet another year of not being able to vote for a winning candidate. My strategy of voting against any and all incumbent candidates has not brought about any change what-so-ever. Sorry. I am bad.
You can find me here:
I am working on trying to format my MySpace page. So please stay tuned.
And I have yet another place I will be posting blogs at. This time I am the “DJ from Hell”
It seems to me that many times your writing offers a doorway though your wall. More often than not you allow your reader further into who you are than many of us who know you get to see in person. There is nothing wrong with that either. Often, when I write, it is to gain a greater understanding of myself and the world around me. You are often the one of a very few who understands that.
Next comment……..
You really nailed MySpace and FaceBook on the head. A place where we can create ourselves to be what we think we should be or how the world should view us. But please remember that it is also a fun place to mess with people sometimes.
You are my first friend (Tom does not count) on myspace. It is good to know you are there. Thanks.