MUSIC: Audioslave

My friend Mike sent me a link to a site called Mindmeister. It is a site for mapping out one’s mind. I really have not had the time to really delve into the site. He said it would be a good way to organize my thoughts in regards to my writing. It may be true and I might do it. However, I am a little suspicious of his motivation. I think he is just trying to “build the case against me”. And he just does not have the time to do the investigative work himself. If the state is going to prosecute you they have to do some “legwork” first. They do not have the ability to just have you fill out a survey so they can prosecute for your answers. It does not work like that in the court system. The tax system is another story.

Let me attempt a try at giving you an explanation of how my mind may work. I am by nature a curious person. This led me to a lot of trouble in my early education years. It also was scarred by being in a Catholic school. We were always being told that we had to have something to read or do quietly whenever we finished our class work. I was always in trouble for what I brought to school to read. Comic books, MAD magazine, etc. I was never told “Why” they were bad. If you are not going to explain “why” then you will never be able to satisfy a curious person. In fact, over time your lack of explanation feeds a rebellious tendency in that person. The answer, “Because I said so!” is the response of a person on seriously out of control personal power trip. For those of you who have been known to play a drinking game from time to time. It is the basis of the drinking game called Asshole. It does not require skill. It is more about having an arbitrary position.

I have a visual mind and usually see things through images. This is why I failed at math throughout my school years. I do not see “numbers” as an example. I can look at pictures and assemble things from them. This is one of my mom’s favorite stories about me when I was about two years old. I was a quiet kid who did not speak a lot. I could build things though. I used the color patterns on the rug in the dining room to build “roads” for my Matchbox and Hot Wheels cars. My grandparents bought me a big can of Tinker Toys. This was a toy you build things with using various sticks and connectors. I now feel old when I realize my toys as a child required as a goal that I put them together myself. This does not seem to be as true now days. Tinker Toys came with a small booklet of things you can build with the various sticks and connectors. So for the next week or so I sat down and built them all. I just looked at the picture and then the pieces. And from there I put them together. The instructions started with simple things and progressed to more complicated ones which required all of the pieces. I eventually worked up to those. I built the most complicated one and showed it off to my mom. She looked at it and thought that I had not put it together right. I looked her and without saying a word showed her the picture in the instruction book. She studied it and realized that I indeed had assembled correctly.

I will now lay blame to biggest influence on my childhood imagination. The first time I ever saw a movie that felt that it looked like the imagination in my head was Star Wars. I remember just sitting glued into my seat at the movie theater. It caught my imagination hard. A few months later, when the toys were coming out I was completely into it. I would go to school and just draw out Star Wars pictures and the after school go home and act out the scenes with my toy action figures. I would come up with new stories every time I would get a new figure. In fact, I bought certain ones based on the ideas of which stories I wanted to tell next. The problem was in second grade I would rather draw the stories then do my real school work. I would be constantly yelled and told such use of my time was a waste. I also discovered comic books. I like that I could see how images and words worked together. And this is why films fascinate me. But I could never successfully explain to my teacher why it was not a waste of time. That is called back talking. I had quite a few walks to the principal’s office. My footprints will be forever etched into that floor. However, I realize that the teacher had no imagination (most of them do not anyways). Those who can’t…teach. I still read Star Wars novels and watch the movies because I am still discovering things about them. It is a very dense story. There are many facets to it. I wish when I was kid there was Wookieepedia. I read the book about a decade ago called Star Wars: The Magic of Myth by Mary Henderson. It is about the elements that make up the story of Star Wars itself. It kept referencing the book The Hero with a Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell. He explores how man has been writing and rewriting the same story since man was able to write. This is how it works for me. I find something that fuels my imagination and then I want more information about it.

I am trying to become a better writer. And that will be the goal until the end. Stephen King in his book On Writing said, “If you do not have the time to read. Then you do not have the time to write. Because you do not have the tools to write.” Here is another example of the mind in action. I like a good story. I like the story even better if there is strong character development. This is why I enjoy the Spenser series from author Robert Parker. It was the influence behind the Spenser: For Hire TV series. He has strong characters and he does not get caught up in using many words to tell the story. Spenser is man who no matter what will solve the case even when he is told to stay away. he has principals and a belief in them. Author Stephen Hunter created the character of Bobby Lee Swagger that he used in several of his novels. Swagger is a former army sniper who gets caught in situation that fall into the category of “right man at the wrong time”. I just read his latest appearance in the novel The 47th Samurai. I will not go into the plot details. I just want to point out how I find things that make me curious and I want find out more. In the book, Swagger studies Japanese samurai culture by watching that genre of films. So now a few of those titles  such as Twilight Samurai, The 47 Ronin and When the Last Sword is Drawn will go into the Netflix queue. There was also the mention of a book entitled The Nobility of Failure. And I am trying to locate a copy to read. I think it could provide some enlightenment for some other thoughts in my head.

This is how it works in a nutshell. I find a good story. I then try to find some details about elements that went into story. And from there I want to see how it all contributed to final “assembly” of the story. On top of it all, westerns, kung fu and samurai films are the ones that seem to be grabbing my attention at the moment. So you have been warned.

I know most people will not read a book or watch a movie that I mentioned. It would take some effort on their part. We are in a world where knowledge seems to be condensed into quick sound bites. And this is not what I am about. I know most people want to be told what to read or see. They do not want to empower themselves with a sense of discovery. They base their quest for knowledge more on what they know rather than what they do not know. I know I will never get to control the “remote” for the masses nor do I want to. I know I do get choose the station, book, movie or the event. So be it. I like how I am trying to discover things. Speaking of which. Last year, I went on a few ghost hunts. You can believe it or not. I did see and hear things. However, as is very common in such situations the evidence did not show up on film. But my X-Files Quest will continue. Does anyone out there know of a good area in the Northeast United States for a UFO hunt?

In the end, I am just attempting to layout a map. But to be truthful, I am not sure how the map works all the time. If I did then I am afraid it will ruin all of the magic.

In case you have not figured it out yet, I have issues.

MUSIC: Your choice but it has to be loud and aggressive. So go find some Metallica, Motorhead, Slayer, Judas Priest, Tool

If you do not have any then your CD/MP3 collection is lacking. You should always have something loud on hand.

I am going with Black Sabbath (featuring Ronnie James Dio)

Here are my RANTS. (In no particular order)

I have been watching the news lately. There is never any good news it seems like these days. You know why? Their viewership is declining and they need to increase revenues any way they can. And you know what sells the best? BAD NEWS. In other words, “sell the problem” with our country to the masses. The Human Condition for some reason has program our minds to focus on the suffering of others. We are basically walking through life wanting to find the next “bloody car accident” to watch. The news outlets want us scared and in our seats watching and listening. So they can sell advertising. I had this revelation when it comes to advertisements. There is that old saying, “If it sounds too good to be true it probably is”. Does this mean that all of those ads for products and services to revolutionize our lives are nothing but bullshit? So where does one go? Suddenly, you find yourself questioning your own existence in regards to true reality. Does this mean the movie The Matrix is in truth a documentary? Does the Descartes statement “I think therefore I am” become void here.

We are basically “Tailgating at the Apocalypse”. So fire up the grill and have some hot dogs. And don’t forget the cold beer. The message is the world is fucked up to such a point that it means tomorrow is the end. And yet we are still here. History is still being made. Like it always has and always will. You know who gets to write history? The survivors.

Where does one go for truth? You want truth then stay the fuck away from talk radio. It does not matter if you are the left or the right. It is all just spin. Once the person on the screen reveals his political belief you know exactly what he is going to say. A politician from any political party is nothing but a well trained parrot then knows what to repeat and when to repeat it. Washington DC is nothing but a well staged circus show. Talk radio is once again all “about selling the problem”. These talk outlets have done nothing to bring about change. Well that is not completely true. They have raised the collective blood pressure of this country. And for that we need medication. And lots of it. There is a different color of pill for each problem out there. It is has become a game of Flintstone Chewable Russian Roulette with the pills. Every commercial break brings out another ad for a different color pill. You know why the war on drugs has failed in this country? The pill ads have reinforced the message that DRUGS ARE THE ANSWER. You want to recognize a policy failure in this country? Just look for the title, “The War on, for, or against (insert problem here)”.

I am tired of hearing bad companies saying they are “too big to fail”. If that is true. Every woman who ever told me “size does not matter” is lying. But a big bank account and a sports car can overcome that. I have neither.

I also like how the problems of this country that have causes going back to more than 20 years at this point can be solved with legislation that is drafted in a week. Once again let me remind you the circus is town. Remember there are no short cuts in life. Stimulus package is just another form of bad advertising. I know that there has to be changes and cut backs in the short term for our society to survive. It will not be easy. And it is not going to be fair. But isn’t that the game of Life. I live in New York and we too have a circus in our capital city of Albany. And they do make you want to have a couple of color pills in order to attempt to understand their dysfunction. Sadly, the color is brown because of all of the shit they spew out. They too are calling for change. More of our spare change in the form of taxes. With some cuts. Now every group in this state is spending a lot of money to say these proposed cuts are going to ruin after thing. These cuts are not fair. And that all use that popular phrase, “What about the children?” Here is what I say about the children. IF YOU WANT CHILDREN IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO PAY FOR THEM. I pay an outrageous school tax bill for other people’s kids. And then I hear that those kids are not getting enough money. Tell those kids to get a job. I started working at 10 years old delivering papers. It taught me a valuable lesson. Work sucks. And tomorrow will be more of the same. The amount of money I have to pay these kids should have to mow my lawn or shovel my driveway for free just to say, “Thanks”. I should be able to tell kids in the stores to stop acting like brats. I do not believe in hitting kids but I should get a free swing at some of these so called “parents” who let their kids be brats. I paid for the right. And when it comes to school the other ads say how kids will be lost without teachers. Here is a sad fact from a former professional college student. Most of my teachers were not worth shit for what I paid for them. I believe in education. But I am suspicious of anyone who calls themselves a “professional educator”. This is my education plan for the country. All kids (regards of age) will be kept in school until they understand reading, writing and arithmetic. That is it. After that they will given a library card and told go find a book and teach yourself. Welcome to real game of Life. Your boss will always be yelling at you for what you do not know. And the more he yells the less likely he is going to provide any training at all. Learn it early. The world is not designed as children being the center of it. In fact you will own spend a small percentage of your life being an actual child. Although, I can testify to the fact you can stretch out the “immaturity” of your youth quite far. In fact, so far the answer is 38 and counting. The experiment will continue. The world is not safe for children and in fact not safe for adults. Just watch the evening news. If the world was indeed a safe place we would save a lot of money on insurance.

Remember the words of Mark Twain who said “Do not let college interfere with your education”.

Just another memo to small kids. Just because when you are young and you can load up a diaper with a cute face. Does not mean that when you get older people are going to be willing to put up with your “shit”.

Another word to parents especially women. I know I am going to get shit for this. But if your uterus is as barren as the desert then God does not want you to make babies there. Nothing grows in a desert. If you need to perform a sci-fi chemical medical experiment then were not meant to birth children. Watch those sci-fi movies sometime. Here is a hint. The experiment never goes according to plan and things get out of hand quickly. If you have six kids and the experiment gives you another eight kids you cannot support then this not being done because you “love kids”. You are being a selfish person who thinks others need to pay for your “love”.

I have rented my apartments. I state that the apartments are “No pets”. I do not want to have to carry extra insurance on the building. And mostly, I do not want to put up with “pet stink”. One of my new tenants wants to move a bird in. It is small. It is in a cage. I declined (and may have to replace the tenant who forgot about this pet when signing the lease which states no pets). I like pets. I wish I could have a dog. I have no money for a dog nor is my place big enough for a real dog. I hate small dogs. In fact, if your dog can be taken out by a rat trap then it is not a real dog. I do like dogs. My friends’ dog Smudge who I mentioned in another post is probably one of the most entertaining dogs I have ever me. I do not care for pets that are in cages. The newspaper on the bottom of the cage has one purpose. Catching shit. These pets spend all day in the air of their own shit. I could compromise though. If your pet can take a shit in the toilet, flush and if need to spray some air freshener then it can be in your apartment. Too bad your pet does not come with an opposable thumb and some intelligence to make it happen. Shit stinks. There is no correlation between size and stench. It all stinks. I don’t care how “cute” your pet is. Pets like kids need to be put in their place in the “food chain” of life.

Athletes are not heroes. They are entertainers. Entertainers use drugs. Heroes do their job without looking for an applause sign to be lit up. They do not have press conferences after every “game day” to remind you of how great they are. And the conditions in which heroes play are not in environmentally controlled stadiums. Their stakes are much higher.

I need to stop ranting. There will always be material for it.

I need to find a better use of my free time. Maybe I need someone for my free time. Maybe I should just take a pill.