MUSIC: The Bryds

I just want to make this clear. From the middle of November until the first week or so of January I wish I could be alone on deserted island. It is that time of the year for “Great Expectations”. You are barraged daily by messages that you have to “buy” into all of it in order to be a valued part of society. The calendar has 4 benchmark days in less than 6 weeks. I would rather just skip all the hype surrounding them. This feeling gets me labeled as being a “miserable asshole”. I wish this time of year would take a lesson from Burger King and just let me “have it my way.” Is it too much to ask? Plus, I still have the scars on my soul from the years I worked a retail job. And Holiday shoppers are a miserable bunch. “Happy Holidays” is a LIE. Tradition is just a nicer way to say “repeated torture”.

I have been re-reading various passages from Jon Krakauer books. I like his stories about real people trying to come to terms to the conditions of the environments in which they find themselves.

The movie The Wrestler I would also recommend. (NOTE: You do not have to be a fan of professional wrestling to enjoy this movie.) This is a story of man trying to come to terms with his real self and the image of himself he created. And how the line between the two gets blurred.

I mentioned in a post about how I hate all pop psychology quizzes that are available on sites like Facebook. There is one called “Social Intervention” that asks question about you and your friends. And sometimes you get the results posted. I got nailed by one of these questions. I had a Facebook friend response posted to the question that asks to describe me in two words. At least the response was not “fucking asshole”. The answer was “eccentric and reclusive”. I had the response that the character Arthur Dent had in the book The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. He is outraged when he finds out that everything about the planet Earth in all of its being can summed in two words. “Mostly Harmless” (If this was true in real life the evening news would be a lot more whimsical in nature. And the pharmaceutical industry sponsoring the ad time during the news is not going to let that happen.) But back to responding to the answer. So here I am “eccentric and reclusive”. Let me deal with this answer one part at a time. Eccentric. I just like the things that I like. I know it just does not have mass appeal. It is amazing watching people in this country spending a lot of effort to fit in with the rest of society. And then secretly they are upset that they do not feel like their true individual self at the end of the day. Forget all of the self help books. Shakespeare had it right when he said, “To your own self be true.” Besides eccentric things have shorter lines to them. And it keeps you away from a lot of people who will just waste your time. The next part. Reclusive. This is a by-product of being eccentric. I know I like things that have no mass appeal. I find it is better to have no conversation on the eccentric. Most people out there do not understand why someone would like such things. The truth is they do not want to know. It is easier to deal with a person when you can place them in mass appeal demographic. (Plus, if you do not have a cell phone then you are no one. You need one in order to have a false sense of importance.) I have said many times the “Lone Person” tends to creep people out. However, in real life it is the big groups that do the real damage. (See any political or religious group for examples) A few weeks, ago I was out for Sunday breakfast by myself. I was sitting quietly and reading the paper. (NOTE: I have to be reading when eating out by myself. ANOTHER NOTE: This is why I am a bad date for eating out. I get food. I get quiet. I need to read something. So conversation is not going to be a smooth thing. And there is more on why I have this habit that I am not going into.) So my waitress has to point of the fact that I am sitting there too quietly. However, if I started having an out loud debate in regards to the content of the paper then my service level from this waitress would go down. I would not be surprised if a phone call was place to proper authorities.

I think it is important that from time to time try to take an outside perspective on myself. How I appear to others? Not that it matters in the end. It is just an exercise. This is another example of a character trying to reconcile his dual nature. I have been watching from time to time on local TV the series The Incredible Hulk. The image is at the end of each show Bruce Banner (Bill Bixby) has his pack as he is trying to hitchhike out of yet another town. (That music playing)

I think this may be how I perceived as I quietly go to and from work each day with my backpack over my shoulder.

Stiglmeier Park is a place I have been taking some walks through lately. This is a park that makes news from time to time due to fact it is surrounded by housing developments. There is a conflict from time to time between the two. It is usually in the form of protests over animal population control measures or wanting to build more baseball fields in the park.

The park has a series of nature trails in it. I like to hike through the woods and clear out my head. I leave the MP3 player behind. However, I bring the digital camera along. It gives a chance to just be in a place and observe the surroundings. It is not only an opportunity to look but to listen too. It is interesting to look through the photos I take to see what caught my attention. Besides it gives me a chance to work with a camera again.

I know you should go hiking by yourself. I just find it easier to go on a moment’s whim on my own. I will to accept the risk. I think the worse thing for nature in this time is the environmental movement itself. The message the movement seems to saying is nature in a state of near collapse at any moment. (Read Michael Crichton’s introduction to Jurassic Park) The part that the movement wants to eliminate from the equation that is nature is man himself. I think people fear of nature is what keeps them from experiencing nature. Even though regardless of where we live we are in nature at all times. If you watch the Weather Channel realize one thing man will never have control of the weather. Nature will put mankind in his place time and time again. So don’t worry. But please pick up after yourself.

The outdoors should not be feared. They should be respected. It is a place that will remind of your abilities and your limitations. All the years of the years of Scouting thought me this. Just have to remember, “Be Prepared”.

The Jon Krakauer books remind me of these lessons.