Coffee on the Go

I have heard you should start you day with prayer.

And this is one that I tried to say. But first thing in the morning. This one had way too many words. It may be better translated into grunts and moans. But that dictionary does not exist to make that translation.

But here it is. Please bow your head. I may be a smart ass. But that does not mean you cannot show some respect here. Someone has to.

A COFFEE PRAYER – Caffeine is my shepherd; I shall not doze. It maketh me to wake in green pastures: It leadeth me beyond the sleeping masses. It restoreth my buzz: It leadeth me in the paths of consciousness for its name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of addiction, I will fear no Equal™: For thou art with me; thy cream and thy sugar they comfort me. Thou preparest a carafe before me in the presence of The Starbucks®: Thou anointest my day with pep; my mug runneth over. Surely richness and taste shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the House of Juan Valdez forever. Amen.

(I ignore the cream and sugar part for they do not apply to me. I take it Black. –Insert your stupid juvenile joke here–(More))

But lately, my prayers have gone unanswered. The coffee needs to be stronger in the morning. I need to find the brew that is borderline an illegal drug to kick start my morning. Any suggests. Please! Please! Let me know. I need the equivalent of “jet fuel”.

I wish I was a person who did not need coffee to start my engine in the morning. I wish we could have a vote on which time of day really should be called “morning”.

I am not a morning person. It is not easy for me to wake up in the morning. Every day, starts like it was the feeling of “morning after” for me. That feeling of guilt and shame from the night before. The guessing work of what may have happened. Why? Who was she? Hopefully, there was not a police report or a YouTube upload. Sorry. That is another problem all together.

I have a friend who is one of those “bouncing-off-the-walls-happy-it-is-morning-people”. He likes to remind me of my supposedly unhealthy need to start with coffee. NOTE: He drinks decaf. ANOTHER NOTE: He can be a real asshole about things too. He reminds me that he does not need to coffee to come alive. I tell him that he is very wrong on that. I tell him he needs coffee to stay alive. This is my quote. “This 16oz coffee is the only thing that is keeping me from sending you into afterlife by very violent means.” So there! Coffee is a health food.

I also made another observation about coffee. And more specific about coffee cups.

There are two types the mug and the paper cup. And each represents two different types of people.

The mug (Or as I call it my “syringe”) shows a person who is prepared with the right tool needed for the job. Dependable. And cost effective. In other words, if I need coffee then I must have a mug ready. I am prepared!

Then comes the infamous paper/Styrofoam cup.

This shows a person who is on the run and does not have time to waste. Time is money. The downfall is the paper/Styrofoam cup itself. Not because of all that environmental shit. It is the advertising on the cup. Where that cup was purchased shows a person perceived place in society’s economic hierarchy. The advertisement on the cup is a way of determining your pretentiousness. There is perceived difference between coffee from Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, Tim Horton’s, Mc Donald’s and a convenient store. It is just another way to pass judgment. Another way to buy in.