Reconfiguring the Scorecard

I really like this “Information Age” we are in. However, I am getting a little tired on the over reliance of so-called “expert testimony”.

I DO NOT ENDORSE THE PRODUCT IN THIS CLIP. It is just a metaphor for a bigger idea in this post.

I reference that clip to emphasize that beneath it all there is a thin layer of bullshit to it All of the news outlets have experts on and do not have any real debate with them for the most part. The questions are set ups for them to spew their “facts”. It is more of a sales pitch for whatever book or DVD they are shilling. It is kind of like this scene from Good Will Hunting.

The problem with so called experts is that they give off the sense that their knowledge came solely from “Divine Intervention”. And so you had better not questioned the “Divine” a.k.a. “Them”. They do not want to let you know that like everyone else it was rounds of “trial and error” that lead to success. No one ever hears about testing trials of WD 1 through 39. Or the poor bastard who had to test Preparation A through G.

Here are three people I have been listening to over the past week. It is their stories that have influenced the framing for this post.

1. Mike Birbiglia’s story of his awkwardness in trying to get his first kiss as a young boy. It was told in an episode of This American Life . (Go to about 9:35 mark for the start of his story.)
   
2. Henry Rollin’s misadventures in traveling as told in the story, Eric the Pilot Also his story called, “The Undoing of a Man” which is on the CD Live at the Westbeth Theater. It is a story about his lacking any real idea about domestic living in the house he had just purchased. (Sorry no direct links available)
   
3. Kevin Smith’s handling of criticism.
   

    

I do like going hiking through the woods. I also like trying to learn new things from time to time too. And right now it is geocaching. Yes, I am using billion of dollars in satellite technology to find Tupperware bowls hidden in the woods. I recently got hold of a GPS unit and it came without the instruction manual. This is a metaphor to my life’s existence. There have been so many things in my life that I have had to figure out on my own. “Being lost in the woods” is nothing new to me. Plus I am also a typical genetically wired male and the last thing I want is to be caught looking at an instruction manual. So I am trying through “trial and error” with this GPS unit to figure out how it really works. The results at this point have been clumsy at best. There is a part of me that wishes someone would rip the unit out of my hands and show me how to properly use it. This notion applies to other aspects of my life too. But patient, reassuring teachers with a good sense of humor are few and far between. (I really wish someone else would make the sandwich for once.) I also realized another thing while I have been stumbling through the woods with a GPS unit. That is. I am not as prepared as I think I am. I have done geocaching before with others and did have success finding caches. (But I am going to spare the details of the “Jeep Incident”. I will say just say when going offroading that needs an outboard motor and ends up needing a tow truck with a long winch there is a problem. And contrary to the opinion of those who witnessed the “Incident”. It was not my fault!) I have gone out on my own twice so far. I downloaded the right coordinates. I studied the maps. And so far my score is 0-2. I searched and searched with no luck. And I thought each cache had been lost and posted that to the website. I thought the owners of the caches may want to check them out. Here is the rough part for me. Right after I had posted my lack of finding. Others posted they had indeed found the cache. Here is the kicker. They had found them on the same day I was looking for them. The lesson is that I cannot seem to find things on my own. And this has broader implications on my life.

I know I am into many esoteric things. I will always be for the most part too. The problem will always exist with this lifestyle is that the “allies” will be few but the “enemies” will be in mass. This is the scorecard I am playing with and against. I came up with this analogy of my single/singular life. Alone and going about in a public setting, I will for the most part always be seen as someone who is “wearing a hockey mask”. The lone man will always be seen as something to fear. People will always be trying to figure out if I match the latest release of the police sketch artist’s rendering. And they are at the ready at the first sign of trouble to hit the Emergency Alert System. It can be awkward for me on my own at public settings. My people watching habits tend to come off as a bit creepy. It makes me seem like a potential stalker. With today’s gas prices I am not about to take that up as a hobby. And besides I do not have the time to dig a pit in my basement. But I do have a bucket of lotion. But the lambs are never quiet.

It is hard to find people to do things with. Most of my friends are now married with children. (The worse of STD’s) And this has changed their openness to new things. They are always locked into Alpha male status mode. They need to protect their clan no matter what. Nothing unknown can get through their perimeter. In order for it to get past the defenses and allowed in, it first must get the “dog treatment”. It must be thoroughly sniffed out and then pissed on before it can be allowed to stay within their territory. And everything being done must have a defined purpose to it. Otherwise, it is just nonsense and therefore a waste of time. The idea of any type “experimenting” triggers their parental alarms. They need a Kid’s Menu option ready at all times. I cannot say it is a bad thing. It is just their nature now. And like so many relations they only seem to coexist to degree with Holiday events on the calendar. What does this all mean for me? I need to make adjustments to the parameters of my social being.

Heckle needs a Jeckle.

	Metric – Gold Guns Girls .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine