(Flash fiction)
Albatross
First, I would buy a GPS tracker for that stuffed rabbit.
She maybe three years old but she has days when she could beat my boss when it comes to being a tyrant. Demanding. It took an extra hour of searching the house to find one stuffed rabbit. She has hundreds of stuffed animals. I pleaded. But she would not accept any substitute for her bedtime. I knew that. But just this one time?
Luckily, it was found. But not soon enough.
Why she put that rabbit in her dresser drawer under the sweater to keep it warm? Is an explanation from her that would have delayed bedtime yet another hour.
She is finally asleep.
I snuck back into her room to sit and watch her.
She is just lying there with hugging that rabbit. Such a sight makes it is easier to forgive her bedtime dramatics. And it is tough at the same time.
It has been a long day. Really it has been an even longer three weeks. The economy might be changing. Orders and shipments at the plant have been higher. The extra hours have helped. Just a bit. But no one there believes it going to be any long lasting trend. Just watch the news any night. Every optimistic report is counter with at least three downside points to make you weary. Weary of anything. The numbers are thrown around with so much ease by so called experts. And for all their ease they never seem to balance out. They need to get out from behind the cameras. They would all be singing another tune if they had a clue. Not a sound bite. The only time they roll up their sleeves is just before they give a speech. Save the posturing. Shut up. They need to start busting their ass. On their own. Without a sucking up staff with them to make it happen. Don’t tell me about the cost of things if you do not have to actually do it yourself. If you are not watching the clock as your feel your wallet while waiting in a line or pumping gas then you really can’t feel shit. Talk a good game to someone else.
Take a breathe.
It is hard to keep focus. No one ever taught you the skill to be to do something while you are looking over your shoulder at the same time.
Her just sleeping there reminds me. It seems like a lot to put on a three year old.
Look straight. Fly right. They’re tricky now a day.
Hope? Never paid the bills. Secretly wishing it would.
Change? Maybe another day.
Too little air in me at the moment to hold in.
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I know they are a long shot. The odds are not in my favor. None of the odds are in my favor. Doing my best. And those odds are still not improving. I know there are no short cuts to life. Have to go through. Can’t go around.
I wish I could get a chance to breath.
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Maybe the second line will increase the chances. They only cost $2. It seems like nothing when compared to $4 a gallon gas. A dream. Even a long shot. A chance to be optimistic. The second one just grinds at you. Funny part is both of them have the same property to them. They’re both out of your control. Anyone telling you they can control them for you is selling you something you need even less than a lottery ticket. However, it is the wrong time for that memo. Life, nature or whatever you may call it has rules that can never be changed.
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Maybe those numbers will give me a chance to be with my wife more. We are passing by each other only to pass a child between job shifts. It is going to be at least three or four more hours before she makes it home. If all goes well.
I was going to stay up to see her. The exhaustion has other plans. You get married to work together. I am not sure how it happened. But it seems like we are working apart. Marriage buy high. Sell low. It’s the reality of that investment plan.
Have to stop. Not that thought.
I need to breathe.
Have to work again tomorrow.
Wish there was more credit for effort.
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$2 doesn’t seem to be a waste for a chance. I felt a bit pathetic about it though. It’s a desperate move. Foolish. I should know better. Hell, do better. $2 is half gallon of milk. And she loves that on her cereal. It may not last long. But a happy face in the morning seems to go longer.
How much longer can it go?
It can’t all be trending down.
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It would be nice.
I don’t care about a mansion. I don’t care about a fancy car. Nor a trip around the world.
I just want to breathe.
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