Emotional Ketchup Burst
The Bottling up opinions and emotions inside oneself so that they explosively burst forth all at once, shocking and confusing employers and friends — most of whom thought things were fine.
Generation X
Douglas Copeland
(NOTE: This post is part influenced by the work of comedian Bill Burr. Watch the clip below to see how and why)
I have always joked about “Festivus” every year. But the truth is I have never really ever participated in any of its rituals.
However, this year I am going to. And it will be well in advance of its December 21st date. I have finally been pushed too far with all of this yearly Holiday Bull Shit.
So my “AIRING OF GRIEVENCES” begins!!!!
There is a yearly tradition that I have had enough of. It happens every Thanksgiving and My Other Day. My family asks me every year, “So what are you going to do for Christmas decorations this year?”
“Same as last year. Nothing.” I reply. This is my tradition. (It is a tradition at a level I can easily accommodate.) And so for the next hour or two of the family gathering I have to listen to them, “Call me a miserable Scrooge. And the other implications of being such an asshole by not bowing to the dictations of the Season.”
Yeah….For this family tradition. (I cannot say that phrase with enough sarcasm.)
And people wonder why I need to drink on these days.
Answer.
IT KILLS THE RAGE.
Maybe not totally. But it does numb it down a bit.
My take on the Christmas Season is almost in line with what I think about Grateful Dead fans. I like the band. But I hate the fans.
I live on my own and I have no to impress with such decorating. And it will end of being another box of junk to move around the apartment the rest of the year. Besides whatever I do (if I did) anything will never “satisfy” my “seasonal critics”. I know when the Holiday Season arrives each year that I am playing “the losing hand”. So why bother?
Here is example. I do give a little more donation to charities when the Holiday Season arrives. However, I do not make a big deal about. In fact, I think you should be a bit humble about such actions. I think announcing says more about you then it does about the charity in which you are donating to. I was at a store that was collecting money for a toy drive. So I rounded up my balance on the bill as the donation. It was maybe around $3-4. The cashier then said, I got to fill out one of Christmas Tree shaped notes with my name so they could post it on the wall. I told her that it was all right and I just wanted to make the donation. She got a bit hostile about it. I said, “It was not a big deal.” But she kept insisting. I had to get out of there because I almost asked for the donation back. So I had to get out there quickly.
And this is my major problem with the Holidays is that everything has to be such much “IN YOUR FACE”. And if you do not return the “Intensity” there is going to be a problem.
The other part is the Holiday Season is constantly in your ears more than anything. This is probably a result of some form of Retail PTSD from years back. I used to work a retail job scenario many years ago. The Holiday Season was mandated by the owner that all full time workers had to work Opening to Close Six Days a week. And this went from Mid-November until January 1st. 9am until 11-12PM . The music system also played Christmas music nonstop. And many of the display also played music too. So to this day, Christmas music is nothing but a bunch of competing “noise” to me. I remember making bets with co-workers on which song was next and we did with a “sense of dread”. I remember one night during this time in which we go hit by a snowstorm. (It dumped over a foot of snow that night) It was 9PM night and there were NO customers in the store. None of us could leave a bit earlier because, “There might be a rush.” (There wasn’t). I then asked for my coworkers if we could change the music for a while. And the reply was, “No. Because if customers come in then they will not know it is Christmas time.” If you are a retail worker and you give such a response to a dilemma like this. ”Are you shitting me?” does not go over well.
I could never be a spy. Because if I got caught. They would not have to break any bones, water board me or anything like that. Just play a Christmas song and I will break before the first bar of the song is finished. Anything to turn off that music.
I could go on and on about how my retail employment years totally ruined me on “The Season”. And why still to this day I am searching for the ever elusive “Silent Night”.
THIS IS WHAT MAKES IT THE HOLIDAY SEASON.
Some guy a long time ago looked at the calendar and assigned the date. He did not go stumbling through the woods and then came across a “shiny tree and candy canes.” Went back to the village and shared the vision. And declared that is was “The Holiday” that everyone there needed to follow from now on. The Villagers would have declared him “Nuts” and taken away his key to the liquor cabinet.
I do believe in capitalism and free markets but this time of year really tests the “patience” of those beliefs. In this economy, nothing can be “free” and there is plenty of extra shit to buy this time of year. Those of us not in the “program” get plenty of shit for not “buying” in or better yet “more”. People like me are risking another economic recession. All I can say is I have been watching The Walking Dead. I might want to watch what happens when people “lose their shit” for real. Besides from Election Day until New Year’s Day people pretty much act like Zombies anyways. Everybody keeps on message and keeps on repeating it. This why Zombies seek “brains”. Because last thing that society at this moment needs (especially in December) is anyone truly “thinking” about it. So the “thinkers” must be ostracized, shamed and ultimately destroyed.
Another Sci-Fi example, the Borg from the Star Trek series is just a representation of “out of control consumerism”. “Resistance is Futile” is just a code phrase for “As seen on TV and order now for just 5 easy payments of $19.99 this (bullshit) product can be yours too.” It would be so awkward to reach into your car’s glove box and NOT to find the collapsible fishing rod and reel there.
“You do not want to be that person? Do you? Use that credit card…Assimilate! ..We mean add to your collection…Operators are standing by. And another thing. As long as you can cover the monthly credit card bill then you DO NOT have a “hoarding” problem.”
So every year, society and my family treat me like the game Battleship and set about trying to sink me. Thank God, for bourbon to “float on” in the midst of the battle. And screening phone calls also helps.
I am not Anti-Christmas. I have nothing against most religions either. However, I have a problem with the way its economics are practiced. And besides let me exercise my “freedom of religion” by being let out of yours. I really do not find any real “joy” in it either. And besides I would rather run up my electric bill in December writing on my laptop or watching more movies. The tree with the light show taking up space is not going to help that cause.
I think people need to start recognizing the “sources of joy” people have in their lives the other 11 months of the year. There is a need more now than ever before. Let people live their own lives. Quit making people do external things as a condition to make you willing to see or listen to their “Internal Being”.
This Season is just crazy without making it worse.
Dial it back to some more reasonable and realistic. Your Credit Score will “Thank you”.
Remember the Cabbage Patch Doll crazy in the early 80’s. I wonder how many kids would be proud of it knowing their Mom or Dad got it for them via an uppercut punch?
I wish to limit how much time I want to participate in people’s “crazy” during this month.
It makes me….Sane.
At least for a day.
Besides everyone who wants a “White Christmas” is never the person who has to take the responsibility to actually go out and “shovel it” or “drive through it”.
(Finally, another influence behind the thoughts that went into this post from Jim Norton)
There is a quote in this clip that sums up exactly how I feel sometimes after I get done putting a post together.
“Ever have words come out of your mouth…
And immediately want to put them back in… With a shot gun?”
No matter what I say this time of year…I am guaranteed… To get a lot of shit in return.
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