The Impending Raccoon Uprising

Yes, you read the title right.



I have very busy lately. And late at night when I am trying to “wind down” I have been watching nature documentaries streaming on Netflix. I just want to be somehow “informed” without being filled up with “angst and anxiety” which is the point of late night news and long range weather forecasts.



I watched Raccoon Nation. It is about how raccoons are increasing their numbers in urban areas. Toronto, Canada according to this is the “Raccoon Kingdom of the World”. Plus, they have made headways into Germany and Japan because there was time when people there thought they would make great pets. Which we all know is the premise to many horror films.

In this episode, the wild life experts are thinking that this urban living for them is making them “smarter”. No garbage can technology will be able to stop them.

If the Star Trek series has taught us anything that today’s “science fiction” is tomorrow’s “innovation”. I also know that scientist love to “play” I mean “experiment” with things. Especially the “Fuzzy Ones”. Once again the science fiction films tend to have the message “The Experiment is going to Fail.” Read the Michael Crichton books if you are not sure.

I do not believe in the Planet of the Apes scenario just based on the number of gorillas that currently exist in the world. Nor do I believe there will be The Walking Dead
Scenario either. However, about every four years I think there might be the possibility of it. When this country lines up in rows of two behind the “Elephant” or the “Donkey” and both sides repeat the same 3-5 “Talking Points”. However, it is a bunch of yelling over each other on the level of “I know you are but what am I.”

After seeing Guardians of the Galaxy, the game of “Raccoon Evolution” may make a scientist try to help it along.


But whatever happens.

Please. Do Not Arm the Squirrels.


Do not let them fool you. Someday, they will become the “Al-Qaeda” of the Wild Kingdom.

Sure, they are cute with that fuzzy tail. But turn your back on them and they rip up your garden and throw pine cones at you.

Can we at least learn something from the last 30 years of conflict in Afghanistan?

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