There are a lot of things in this life that seems to breakdown. And for me this is the case. The bottle of glue right now does not have enough in it for the job at hand.
This posting is an exercise in trying to write something. Anything.
It is also an attempt to keep things in motion because when things slow down and stop that is when the trouble begins.
I have heard this too often from many different and unrelated people. My voice sounds like that of a person being pulled in hundreds of different directions.
I read the book Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk while ago and lately the tone of the book has been in my psyche. This is a book you should avoid if you have (particularly in this case) a weak stomach. But if you like to challenge yourself through reading something out of the ordinary then you should give this one a chance.
It is the story of a bunch of people who attend a writer’s workshop and are forced to tell their own story. And their stories are of heartbreak, lost and the defects of their own character. They are disturbing and at the same time compelling too.
The thought process of my mind always seeks out sources of information (any source and any format) as an attempt to connect in odd way with the world at large. Look! My mind did not come with any set of operating instructions. At times it even baffles the Big Guy. I am always finding new sources of knowledge to put into my brain. I am trying to figure out if my current circumstances or my past experiences have some place of context in this world. For example (not really), there is one that I cannot go into detail because it is not completely my own to tell. And besides I was also told to shut up about it too. But I am trying to come to terms with it and it is implications. I need something out there to compare and contrast it with. Luckily, I have been listening a lot lately to comedian Doug Stanhope and his tale of “Bobbie Barnett”. (WARNING: Do not play this at work or with the kids around). It should also be noted that in times of stress I seek out humor. The more “twisted and odd” that it is the better.
I also have a mind that remembers things at the oddest of times. And I am at a lost at why I would be remembering it at all. (Maybe at a later point in time I will be more willing and even capable of giving an example.) Soon enough the situation I find myself in and the memory become relevant. (I wish I could recognize the memory is really a “heads up warning”.)And sadly, most of the time it is one of hardship and/or lost. Recently, this was the case and in more than one circumstance. I am not going to spell out the details. I am not ready to, willing to nor am I really capable at this point to give the details. Maybe it is because I have not come to their full insight and wisdom. I just want to just acknowledge for the time being that behind it all there is a thought or two trying to manifest themselves. They are slowly churning about like the burritos I had for lunch.
I heard this from Dan Kennedy in his performance at The Moth. “My therapist told me, ‘When you go forward you will be intuitively able to handle what used to baffle you.”
I am just going to try to keep moving forward. But I have to admit. I am beginning to tire of feeling like I am constantly being “run over”.
And finally, maybe the past like the future is something we will never fully grasp.
Johnny Thunders – You Can’t Put Your Arms Around A Memory .mp3
The Book of Ecclesiastes may be on to something by saying “It’s all vanity.” And also the price of knowledge on this world is you basically end up on your own.
I wish this was not a benchmark event year. But I need to beat the rush. I have been thinking about planning or writing out a “mid-life crisis” scenario that would be above and beyond what took place in the movie The Hangover. However, to do so would make it seem less than spontaneous. It would also come off as being staged and fake like that found in 99% of all so-called “reality” shows. Plus the paper trial would come back to haunt in any follow lawsuits over the event.
A quote from an episode of The Moth podcast. “You may have two different faces but you see the world through the same eyes”- Craig Chester
There are a couple of parks near where I work that I like to go to during my lunch break. Weather permitting. It can be at times a real good way to re-charge my internal mental batteries. That lately have been drained way too easily. When anyone sees me walking by myself in one of these parks they tend to have that look to their face. The look that suggests that someone I may look like that person they know as “Suspect”. And they tend to stare at me a bit longer make sure that I might look a bit like the lastest release made by police sketch artist. It does not bother me that much. It is just a by-product of people who watched too many horror movies about the “lone killer”. This is also made me think why solitary confinement is so effective. You are left with your best ally and your own worst enemy with no referee to moderate.
These walks are meant as a way to tempoarily to clear my head. Life can be hectic. I finally know why for generations there has always been a plea to “get back to nature”. If we could live like our ancestors. The reality is we can never live in nature on the same terms as our ancestors did. We have more knowledge about nature than ever before. We have mapped the whole planet. We know where the rivers run. We know what is on the other side of the mountain. We know how long it takes to get to the destination. Space and time in regards to travel is a better known and calculated number nowadays. There is better equipment available to us. A simple desk calculator has more power than all the computers did when man first landed on the moon 40 years ago.We look at the big map on the wall, synchronize our watches and we can see the journey ahead. It is when the journey begins that all the aspects and challenges come into play. So what does it mean? A lot of us need to chill out on the roads and at the airports.
Everyone at some point wants to strip down their life to its barest essentials. And that represents “being one with nature”. It is this notion with view with a sense of purity. However, this is where we can get a bit arrogant. Just because our intentions are good does not mean nature itself will return the favor. Nature is going to act whatever way it is going. Our status in life has no impact on how nature is going to act. It does look at a spreadsheet of people’s wealth before acting.However, people in their pride think they are entitled to act without regards to nature. Example, the animals are not here to sing us show tunes and dance with us in the woods. Walt Disney lied to you. You are on the menu along with everything else in the forest. Remember that.
The outdoors gives us a reason to turn off all the electronics that are now part of our lives. Pandora is not going to put all that shit back in the box for us. A walk through the woods gives a good excuse to be a bit introspective. Because we want perspective. There is a camp that I have been going to for about 30 years at this point. I like the program over there and I like the camp. But at this point in time both of them need a reevaluation of their role and place in my life. I do not want to eliminate them but I know they need to be reassessed. When I was younger, I promised I would never be one of those “old timers” who complains things ran better back in the days. As I was next to creek that runs through camp one morning. I began to think about how nostalgia can be a dangerous idea. Because nostalgia is always looking back in time. But time moves like the river. It goes forward on. At least, there is a place to act as some kind of marker on the trail. Where ever that may lead. At this point, I am no sure where the trail is exactly going.
“To get the answers to the questions. Then you have to accept the challenges”. – Jody Williams.
The problem really is that anyone who wants to take charge of government on any level is really admitting that they have a “screw loose”.
In today’s online world, forwarded e-mails now have more power to destroy you than anything that is written on your “permanent record”. The “permanent record” threat we all heard in school was really our first introduction to premise of an “urban legend myth”. Maybe my mom was right about the horrors of the Internet. But she refuses to get online because the “Internet is just a passing fad”. So I hate to admit that I may have to call her judgment on this one to be suspicious. However, it is a good thing for two reasons. I would have to become technical support for her. And if she ever saw what I am posting on the Evil Internet then I would be in even more trouble. My thought process (aka my humor and insight) is a very recessive gene I found in my family’s genetic DNA pool. It does have calling to it. “BAH BAH Black Sheep.”
The dilemma of our mass communication is that it has become a prime example of “supply and demand”. The result is that talk has become cheap. Not entirely though. Especially if it involves an unseen female on the other end who is willing to accept an exaggerated claim of one’s own personal dimensions. Who is really fooling who? At least with an honest unseen face.
I want to make a proclamation about the use of terms in a society with free speech balanced against lawyer fees. I want people to think about the things they reference. However, there are two things people throw out there too easily. These things are not being used to inform. They are used to inflame. So please stop using references to Hitler and 9/11. I want to make a disclaimer. I am not equating the two as being directly linked. One was an asshole and the other was a tragic event. Too many people on all sides throw these two terms about. I have seen the last five US Presidents compared to Hitler in some way. JUST STOP! These references will always be too emotional. And using them regardless of the intention can be very toxic.
I have been thinking about the First Amendment and free speech as a whole. It also reminded me about how I first came to issue of free speech and its effect on my life back in the mid 1980′s. There were a lot of groups attacking the music I was listening to. And they wanted to tell me what I should be listening to. I think this planted the idea in my head of how does some politician get the right or power to set the station on my stereo. The most famous group was the Parental Music Resource Center. It starts when tipper gore trying to be the cool parent buys her kid a Prince album. And was shocked to find out Prince was a horny guy and said so in his lyrics. She was outraged and made sure other people had to be outraged. There were Congressional hearings. And this was the first time I saw that politics was more theater than substance. This was the first time I became aware of a musician named Frank Zappa. I was not aware of his music at the time but he stood up and defended the music I was listening to. Here is the transcript of the hearing. And it can be viewed on line.
The First Amendment says, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”
I do not want to eliminate it what so ever. Like the game of Scrabble I think this Amendment needs some additional clauses.
If you can take the time to speak to others. Then show some courtesy and take the same amount of time to listen.
He who shouts the loudest is not necessarily the winner to claim what is ultimately right. The Amendment does not a volume setting. In fact, the only time volume is really important is at a Motorhead or Slayer concert.
Talk is cheap. This means that how much money you made on what you are saying is irrelevant. Your sales sheet just means you may have been able to con people.
With all the major technology upgrades available you have no excuse for not changing the channel when you come across something you do not like. You are not living in a Clockwork Orange scenario.
I know we live in a time where news is more of tabloid outlet. I do not care about celebrities personal lives. I only care if they put out something I enjoy. I do not care what they do in the privacy of their home (as long as it is not illegal).
If you look over someone’s shoulder and you do not like what you see. The problem is on you. You cannot control the thoughts of others.
You have no right to NOT be offended. Once again, you control your response. Change the station or walk away.
I heard this once in an interview. It comes from the actor Wendell Pierce speaking about his show The Wire. (A show you should take the time to watch if you want your preconceived notions of urban crime and justice challenged.)
“…I also tell people who have issues with the show. And have issues with the white creators trying to tell predominately black stories. That you never lose your ability to be offended. Because that keeps people feet to the fire. That keeps people on their toes…”
The real power and the challenge of the Amendment (and probably the Constitution as a whole) is that it was never meant for passive people. It requires passion. it requires involvement.
I have also been listening to George Carlin’s 1990 album Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics.
There were two ideas in the album that are still very true.
If you want to control thought than you have to control language. (Rating systems and speech codes)
Anything is funny. But it depends how you construct the joke. His example: rape. Imagine Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd. Admit it. You at least had a chuckle.
People say they want this world to be pure. But look at what we are really watching and listening too.
The only time we really want and even demand a sterile and clean environment is in a hospitable emergency room. And yet they still serve that food.
There is a 1001 ways to cry about life on this planet. And no one seems to real do something about. However, if you find that one way to laugh about it. That is where the trouble begins. Someone is going to have a problem.
Like the Bill of Rights.
The game starts on first base. And so did every problem I have ever had with women.
Listen. If you are going to captain your own ship. And you decide to have a co-pilot to come along on the ride with you. Then you need to make sure that you have a well defined “chain of command” structure. You cannot have anyone pulling any rank on you on your ship. No matter whom they think they are or in fact actually are. If you don’t that is when the trouble begins on your ship.
The preceding message was to prove that God has a sense of humor. And if I am going to write things like that then my soul needs to have a disclaimer clause attached to it. And for those of you who think that God does not have a sense of humor. And find any attempt to point out God’s laugh factor to be sacrilegious. Do the following. Take a look in the mirror. And then take a look at the person you are with. Humor is a cruel lesson in life.
I am on this semi-religion kick after watching this season’s episodes of Lost. And I am trying to remember the story behind the names of Biblical and mythological characters they are referencing. And I am hoping to decode the story line of the show to see if I am going to right about the finale. The answer is…Probably not.
The headlines are filled once again with the usual suspects of crazy religious people running amuck in our world. It is funny they all preach that their “God” is one of peace. But somehow they seem to be caught with a shit load of guns and explosives. Then again I am willing to listen very carefully to anyone with a gun to my head. It does not seem like a good time to point out the flaws in their message of “peace”. But I think they are using the wrong word for “peace”. I looked up “peace” in the dictionary. The meaning of the word does not include .22, .45, .357, M-16, AK-47, etc. Check the spell checker. You may be thinking “Piece”.
God may exist in some other world as a single being. However, God on Earth with his many “only” spokespeople does not work per say. On Earth, with all of these people “God” comes off looking like a just another big bureaucracy. That means is there is lot of confusing and redundant paperwork. Ridiculously high fees. And the customer service call center is located in India too. I find it hard to believe I am talking to man named “Bob” there. God may have to consider downsizing his workforce here too. Everyone else is. So he will not look out of place. I must be crazier with that last thought. With all the religious wars being fought around the world. And I am thinking God needs to be even more competitive in the marketplace.
Here is my own personal prayer to God.
Please have a sense of humor. Please have a sense of humor. Please have a sense of humor. Please have a sense of humor. Please have a sense of humor. Please have a sense of humor.
If not. Please make it quick.
On a clear and starry night as you look up into the sky, you do begin to ponder your significance in this world. Are you part of something bigger than yourself? Or are you just a small speck that is easily overlooked? It is hard not to question your views on philosophy and religion. Nietzsche was right when he said, “As you stare into the abyss the abyss is staring back at you.”
What are you connected to? And all of the other questions related to it come to mind too. These thoughts have been racing through my head for a while now. I think they started about the time I received the announcement of my high school reunion. I made up an excuse and skipped it. High school seems to be “another time in a galaxy that is far away”. I was a quiet person in high school too. And most of the significant events in my life at the time took place outside of there. What do you have to really say to people who were not there for them? And of all the events in one’s life why are the high school years the one people want to reunite for? Maybe it is to say that you can be a survivor of post traumatic stress. The popular cultural take on high school is that it sucks. Just watch the movies about high school alone. Maybe high school reunion is to say time and space somehow changes the outcome. Who knows? And like any other tradition the one who started the idea of high school reunion should be treated as a “suspect”. There are events in your life best left to the past. Hindsight maybe 20/20. But do you really want to always be looking back?
I have also been listening to Roger Waters’ 1987 album Radio K.A.O.S. It is a concept album. It is the story of a handicap young man who has the ability to hear radio waves. He makes friends with a radio DJ and tries to reach out to the world. In the end, he hacks into the military computers and fakes the world that all the nuclear bombs have been launched all at once. Can’t you tell the 80′s foreign policy was an influence on this album? I would link to the songs but it is better to listen to this album as a whole. It reminds me of a time when people did tune into a radio to hear music and talk to the DJ between songs. Radio used to have a community sense to it. Today, for the most part it is just repetitive and overly argumentative programming.
I am not sure if there is anything we will tune into en masse every again. Sadly, it will be a horrific, mass tragedy. I am beginning to think that the Super Information Highway is becoming like the car drive on a normal highway. The only time we slow down to notice anyone else is at the scene of an accident. And even fewer stop to actually help someone out. There is a lot of information available on the Internet but the only sites that seem to get a lot of traffic are the ones showing someone who failed in a spectacular way. But I will admit it is really entertaining.
Mass communication is miraculous accomplishment when you think of the speed and the scale in which it is happening. However, there may be an overload of output sources. How many e-mail addresses, phone numbers, Twitters, Facebook accounts are effective to have in the end? Remember there was a time that when the phrase “Googling yourself” was code for masturbation. Now you are actually cross checking how you are referenced on the Web. And chances are you are still being called a “jack off”. Nothing really changes that much. Just the terminology has.
Everyone is running around trying to find that “voice” that speaks for them. They are trying to find their own channel out there. Tuning in. Tuning out. A mouse click is same as channel surfing the dial.
Social networks are the rage. But are they making anyone feel closer? I think the Newton’s Laws of Motion really applies to the nature of human relations when it is all broken down.
I am going to admit that I do like checking Facebook updates. I have learned more about what some of my friends are doing in the last year. Quantity is up. But the quality is about the same. I do not want that to seem like a necessarily bad thing. It is what is. People are as opened or as closed on the Internet as they are in real life. The idea that people recreate themselves in cyberspace seems a bit flawed. However, I do not play Mafia Wars, World of War Craft, or Second Life online so my research is a bit lacking on the topic.
I also watched the movie Crash again. It is a story about how people are connected in ways they are not even aware of.
I think this movie got me thinking again about how and why people are connected or not.
I have to admit to take some time now and then to scan who know who on Facebook. It is kind of funny who really knows who. There is a dark side at times to this. It includes free time, a couple of beverages and the search engine. And trying to figure out how the people you know came together and a part. And the cycle continues like it always does. It reminds me of lesson from a human communications class I took. It is the concept of relationship maintenance. Our intentions may be well placed however we only have the ability to hold meaningful relations with a small fraction of the people we know. There is no tool that can expand that ability. But still we want to know more people anyways. This is why we have unlimited calling plans on our phones. It the end, we are spinning around this universe in some way. This is why we need insurance. We are going to crash in some fashion. One way or another. Now it is time to cue up the music.
This post will probably live up to the title of my blog, “Some Assembly Required”. There are a lot of different ideas here for this posting. These ideas have been milling about in my head over the last week or two. It also made for a lot of notes on the pad. This is post is also the by-product of the “Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle”. In a nutshell, it states the longer you observe (stare) something the more likely that object (ideas) will appear to have changed.
I wish people would take into mind that a news article or commentary is not necessarily a history lesson.
History is taught as a linear function of time. That one event leads into another and therefore time acts like falling dominoes. The benchmark events in history that are used in the textbooks are the greatest victories and crushing defeats. However, when you take some time to delve into any historical event you begin to realize that history is more like the “tangled web” Shakespeare mentioned. There is a “gray area” that exist between the victory or defeat on that event. That is where the story of the people involves takes place but is rarely noted. You see how history is formed by the people involved and how people are changed by history. There has been a lot of talk over the last few years over what was in the intent of the “Founding Fathers”.
I read Founding Brothers: The Revolutionary Generation by Joseph Ellis The first thing, I learned is that the problems this country faces today were quite similar to the Founders. The second thing, I realize after reading this book is that my history lessons were incomplete on the events of the start of this country.
I was never taught the real reason for the occurrence of famous Alexander Hamilton/ Aaron Burr gun duel. I assumed since it involved the men who founded this country then it had to be a matter of great national importance that could not be solved any other way. Wrong! Burr felt insulted by the way Hamilton spoke about him in a newspaper. This was basically the first recorded example of we would call today “Biggie Tupac Thang”. Why is it if “words” cannot hurt us we spend a lot of time fighting back with the “sticks and stones” when we hear things we do not like? Here is the funny part, neither one of them had any intentions of shooting that day Heights of Weehawken, NJ. Two shots were fired and Hamilton was killed. The witnesses that day then spend a lot of time years later changing their minds about what they saw that day. This is America’s original “What Really Happened that Day on the Grassy Knoll Conspiracy”.
There was a great debate over the national debt. They had to figure out how to pay off the bonds issued as payment to the soldiers who fought in the Revolutionary War. They also had to pay back the foreign countries that financed our Revolutionary War. Sound vaguely familiar today? We have a history of big ideas and looking for creditors to pay for them.
They also knew that by not abolishing slavery someday it would result in the possibility of a civil war. However, none of them had the political will to deal with it. “INSERT HERE” any social or budget reform of today.
Thomas Jefferson and John Adams were at one point good friends who laid out the foundation of this country. However, as they both served in various roles in the government it caused a rift between them. Neither one of them would speak to each other for many years. Yet in their later years they wrote many letters to each other trying to figure out what it all meant at the end. They both died on the same day July 4th1826. Fifty years to the day they both signed the Declaration of Independence.
We need to get beyond this “INSERT IDENTITY HERE” Hyphenated American style of identity on a whole.
D-Day by Stephen Ambrose is account of the event that leads to end of World War II. This is about an ambitious, “all-in” plan that almost was a failure. It is about how the men who were the “boots on the ground” were able to make adjustments and overcome in an unimaginably tough scenario. (I shudder at the thought of how today’s 24/7 news outlets would have covered this.) This is how the lower ranks not the Generals who were the ones that made ultimate difference.
We live in a culture today that feels that all problems can be handled and managed by a “top down” approach. The history of this country more times than not has shown “bottom up” approach to be the game changer. This also goes against idea that the one who has a best image on television is therefore the better leader. The reality is that the one who is willing to get “ugly” and “slug it out” will prevail in the long run. It is also like the structure of a pyramid, there is more at the bottom.
You do not have to accept my takes on the books above. You can read them too and form your own opinion.
I am always attempting to work on myself as an individual. This means I read a lot to expand my own knowledge base. I also try not to get myself too caught up in being part of mass groups or movements. However, they are unavoidable. That is the conundrum.
How many times have you heard someone say that all the answers to life are contained in the book “INSERT TITLE HERE”? They will only quote that one book to you. Over and over again. I have read many of those books in my life. And here is what I have found to be true. None of those books have a chapter on cooking, automobile repair, computer maintenance, etc. Guess what you need to read another book or two. If this was not true, bookstores and libraries would not exist. I have low tolerance for people who can only reference one source. It seems that too many people nowadays cling to one book, principle, political identity, whatever, etc.
I think the problem is people are generally lazy about how they take in and decipher information. It is a complex world.
I also think people only tune in one source also. And usually this is via a radio station. I am not above either. I found myself listening to sports radio during my commute time. I get it. Sports are something people use to have something to cheer for. I listen to all of this talk. And in the end, it means nothing. The opinions voiced have no real consequences in the world. As maybe it should be. Just like entertainment news. You get to form opinions that you feel matter and at the same time they most likely will not challenged.
NOTE: Some of the following ideas come out the play Talk Radio by Eric Bogosian. For non-readers, it was adapted by Oliver Stone into movie too.
The real problem exists with talk radio. I do not care who. I do not care if the person is on the left or on the right. I am not going to pretend that I have never listened to them either. Please whatever you hear from those shows could you take a moment to process and filter it through your brain. Before you spew it back to me. I hate when people “parrot” shit verbatim.
I wish I remember where I heard this next statement from. “Talk radio is for broken people. They need someone to tell them that they are right”. They do not want to challenge their beliefs. It is the show. The host does not want to leave anything to chance either. There is a call screener to make sure the show stays on script. Talk radio is not about having a conversation. It is about a person indoctrinating. However, the host needs attention and his ego feed. The host also knows the show must go on and that takes money. The show must offend the audience but not the advertisers. Follow the money trail. You may not get the truth. But at least you may get a clue about the agenda at work. The host needs to always remind you about all the hate mail. People like to hear about someone being metaphorically crucified and tune in just to hear “who is bringing the nails”. This attention feeds the machine. Rush Limbaugh needs Democrats more than he will ever admit to. Howard Stern needed the help of the FCC fining him to assure his success. They all claim they want to rid the world of their enemy. Remember in nature a parasite needs a good host to survive. Also as human beings we will always tune into a “David vs. Goliath” scenario. And they have the “script” ready.
I think people gravitate towards talk radio format because they feel it gives them a voice in our society. And that is probably the farthest thing from the truth. It does not want you to drive you to action. It needs the reaction. And it does not get the reaction if you are not listening. And that is what troubles the advertisers. The host voice is what is heard. Not yours. You are not in the game at all. You are on the sidelines. Just like a sports game. Talk radio seems to work like a lawsuit that settled for an “undisclosed amount.” A lot of money is thrown around and people get paid off. However, it is very unlikely that any of the conditions that caused the lawsuit in the first were fixed. The host cares the most about what he is saying and somehow fools you into believing he is going to fight for you. When was the last time you heard of a talk show personality actually crafting any legislative reform for this country?
I think this scene from movie Talk Radio sums it up best.
I do not want to come off as being on some high moral plane. I need to listen to others too to make it through a work day. I listen to podcasts on the MP3 player. What I enjoy is when people are having a conversation that is not based on just grinding an agenda out. I enjoy when people are having fun time. It is good to hear when people not only talk but listen to each other. There is also a big difference between talking to someone and talking about someone. And the show continues from that angle. It is more natural. It is something I miss having more often in my life. I listen to Keith and theGirl daily. And I listen to Kevin Smith’s SMODcast when they are posted.
NOTE: Kevin Smith made news recently when he was removed from a plane for being “too fat” to fly. This episode #106 he explains his side of the story. The next episode #107 he talks to another woman who was also involved with the incident. It gives you perspective from a person you may never think about.
The story on whole is about what happens when a person well connected to various social media outlets and poor customer service collides head on.
directions.
