I DO NOT ENDORSE THE PRODUCT IN THIS CLIP. It is just a metaphor for a bigger idea in this post.

I reference that clip to emphasize that beneath it all there is a thin layer of bullshit to it All of the news outlets have experts on and do not have any real debate with them for the most part. The questions are set ups for them to spew their “facts”. It is more of a sales pitch for whatever book or DVD they are shilling. It is kind of like this scene from Good Will Hunting.

The problem with so called experts is that they give off the sense that their knowledge came solely from “Divine Intervention”. And so you had better not questioned the “Divine” a.k.a. “Them”. They do not want to let you know that like everyone else it was rounds of “trial and error” that lead to success. No one ever hears about testing trials of WD 1 through 39. Or the poor bastard who had to test Preparation A through G.

Here are three people I have been listening to over the past week. It is their stories that have influenced the framing for this post.

1. Mike Birbiglia’s story of his awkwardness in trying to get his first kiss as a young boy. It was told in an episode of This American Life . (Go to about 9:35 mark for the start of his story.)
   
2. Henry Rollin’s misadventures in traveling as told in the story, Eric the Pilot Also his story called, “The Undoing of a Man” which is on the CD Live at the Westbeth Theater. It is a story about his lacking any real idea about domestic living in the house he had just purchased. (Sorry no direct links available)
   
3. Kevin Smith’s handling of criticism.
   

    

I do like going hiking through the woods. I also like trying to learn new things from time to time too. And right now it is geocaching. Yes, I am using billion of dollars in satellite technology to find Tupperware bowls hidden in the woods. I recently got hold of a GPS unit and it came without the instruction manual. This is a metaphor to my life’s existence. There have been so many things in my life that I have had to figure out on my own. “Being lost in the woods” is nothing new to me. Plus I am also a typical genetically wired male and the last thing I want is to be caught looking at an instruction manual. So I am trying through “trial and error” with this GPS unit to figure out how it really works. The results at this point have been clumsy at best. There is a part of me that wishes someone would rip the unit out of my hands and show me how to properly use it. This notion applies to other aspects of my life too. But patient, reassuring teachers with a good sense of humor are few and far between. (I really wish someone else would make the sandwich for once.) I also realized another thing while I have been stumbling through the woods with a GPS unit. That is. I am not as prepared as I think I am. I have done geocaching before with others and did have success finding caches. (But I am going to spare the details of the “Jeep Incident”. I will say just say when going offroading that needs an outboard motor and ends up needing a tow truck with a long winch there is a problem. And contrary to the opinion of those who witnessed the “Incident”. It was not my fault!) I have gone out on my own twice so far. I downloaded the right coordinates. I studied the maps. And so far my score is 0-2. I searched and searched with no luck. And I thought each cache had been lost and posted that to the website. I thought the owners of the caches may want to check them out. Here is the rough part for me. Right after I had posted my lack of finding. Others posted they had indeed found the cache. Here is the kicker. They had found them on the same day I was looking for them. The lesson is that I cannot seem to find things on my own. And this has broader implications on my life.

I know I am into many esoteric things. I will always be for the most part too. The problem will always exist with this lifestyle is that the “allies” will be few but the “enemies” will be in mass. This is the scorecard I am playing with and against. I came up with this analogy of my single/singular life. Alone and going about in a public setting, I will for the most part always be seen as someone who is “wearing a hockey mask”. The lone man will always be seen as something to fear. People will always be trying to figure out if I match the latest release of the police sketch artist’s rendering. And they are at the ready at the first sign of trouble to hit the Emergency Alert System. It can be awkward for me on my own at public settings. My people watching habits tend to come off as a bit creepy. It makes me seem like a potential stalker. With today’s gas prices I am not about to take that up as a hobby. And besides I do not have the time to dig a pit in my basement. But I do have a bucket of lotion. But the lambs are never quiet.

It is hard to find people to do things with. Most of my friends are now married with children. (The worse of STD’s) And this has changed their openness to new things. They are always locked into Alpha male status mode. They need to protect their clan no matter what. Nothing unknown can get through their perimeter. In order for it to get past the defenses and allowed in, it first must get the “dog treatment”. It must be thoroughly sniffed out and then pissed on before it can be allowed to stay within their territory. And everything being done must have a defined purpose to it. Otherwise, it is just nonsense and therefore a waste of time. The idea of any type “experimenting” triggers their parental alarms. They need a Kid’s Menu option ready at all times. I cannot say it is a bad thing. It is just their nature now. And like so many relations they only seem to coexist to degree with Holiday events on the calendar. What does this all mean for me? I need to make adjustments to the parameters of my social being.

Heckle needs a Jeckle.

	Metric – Gold Guns Girls .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

This posting is an exercise in trying to write something. Anything.

It is also an attempt to keep things in motion because when things slow down and stop that is when the trouble begins.

I have heard this too often from many different and unrelated people. My voice sounds like that of a person being pulled in hundreds of different directions.

I read the book Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk while ago and lately the tone of the book has been in my psyche. This is a book you should avoid if you have (particularly in this case) a weak stomach. But if you like to challenge yourself through reading something out of the ordinary then you should give this one a chance.

It is the story of a bunch of people who attend a writer’s workshop and are forced to tell their own story. And their stories are of heartbreak, lost and the defects of their own character. They are disturbing and at the same time compelling too.

 The thought process of my mind always seeks out sources of information (any source and any format) as an attempt to connect in odd way with the world at large. Look! My mind did not come with any set of operating instructions. At times it even baffles the Big Guy. I am always finding new sources of knowledge to put into my brain. I am trying to figure out if my current circumstances or my past experiences have some place of context in this world. For example (not really), there is one that I cannot go into detail because it is not completely my own to tell. And besides I was also told to shut up about it too. But I am trying to come to terms with it and it is implications. I need something out there to compare and contrast it with. Luckily, I have been listening a lot lately to comedian Doug Stanhope and his tale of “Bobbie Barnett”. (WARNING: Do not play this at work or with the kids around). It should also be noted that in times of stress I seek out humor. The more “twisted and odd” that it is the better.

I heard this from Dan Kennedy in his performance at The Moth. “My therapist told me, ‘When you go forward you will be intuitively able to handle what used to baffle you.”

I am just going to try to keep moving forward. But I have to admit. I am beginning to tire of feeling like I am constantly being “run over”.

And finally, maybe the past like the future is something we will never fully grasp.

	Johnny Thunders – You Can’t Put Your Arms Around A Memory .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

1. The following albums I have been listening to on a “heavy rotation”.
   

   Neil Young- Harvest and Rust Never Sleeps
   

   Pink Floyd – Animals
   

   Port O’Brien – Threadbare
   

   The Church- Starfish
   

2. Read the book The Checklist Manifesto by Atul Gawande. And I am currently trying to digest Self-reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson.
   
3. The Book of Ecclesiastes may be on to something by saying “It’s all vanity.” And also the price of knowledge on this world is you basically end up on your own.
   
4. I wish this was not a benchmark event year. But I need to beat the rush. I have been thinking about planning or writing out a “mid-life crisis” scenario that would be above and beyond what took place in the movie The Hangover. However, to do so would make it seem less than spontaneous. It would also come off as being staged and fake like that found in 99% of all so-called “reality” shows. Plus the paper trial would come back to haunt in any follow lawsuits over the event.
   
5. A quote from an episode of The Moth podcast. “You may have two different faces but you see the world through the same eyes”- Craig Chester
   

There are a couple of parks near where I work that I like to go to during my lunch break. Weather permitting. It can be at times a real good way to re-charge my internal mental batteries. That lately have been drained way too easily. When anyone sees me walking by myself in one of these parks they tend to have that look to their face. The look that suggests that someone I may look like that person they know as “Suspect”. And they tend to stare at me a bit longer make sure that I might look a bit like the lastest release made by police sketch artist. It does not bother me that much. It is just a by-product of people who watched too many horror movies about the “lone killer”. This is also made me think why solitary confinement is so effective. You are left with your best ally and your own worst enemy with no referee to moderate.

These walks are meant as a way to tempoarily to clear my head. Life can be hectic. I finally know why for generations there has always been a plea to “get back to nature”. If we could live like our ancestors. The reality is we can never live in nature on the same terms as our ancestors did. We have more knowledge about nature than ever before. We have mapped the whole planet. We know where the rivers run. We know what is on the other side of the mountain. We know how long it takes to get to the destination. Space and time in regards to travel is a better known and calculated number nowadays. There is better equipment available to us. A simple desk calculator has more power than all the computers did when man first landed on the moon 40 years ago.We look at the big map on the wall, synchronize our watches and we can see the journey ahead. It is when the journey begins that all the aspects and challenges come into play. So what does it mean? A lot of us need to chill out on the roads and at the airports.

Everyone at some point wants to strip down their life to its barest essentials. And that represents “being one with nature”. It is this notion with view with a sense of purity. However, this is where we can get a bit arrogant. Just because our intentions are good does not mean nature itself will return the favor. Nature is going to act whatever way it is going. Our status in life has no impact on how nature is going to act. It does look at a spreadsheet of people’s wealth before acting.However, people in their pride think they are entitled to act without regards to nature. Example, the animals are not here to sing us show tunes and dance with us in the woods. Walt Disney lied to you. You are on the menu along with everything else in the forest. Remember that.

The outdoors gives us a reason to turn off all the electronics that are now part of our lives. Pandora is not going to put all that shit back in the box for us. A walk through the woods gives a good excuse to be a bit introspective. Because we want perspective. There is a camp that I have been going to for about 30 years at this point. I like the program over there and I like the camp. But at this point in time both of them need a reevaluation of their role and place in my life. I do not want to eliminate them but I know they need to be reassessed. When I was younger, I promised I would never be one of those “old timers” who complains things ran better back in the days. As I was next to creek that runs through camp one morning. I began to think about how nostalgia can be a dangerous idea. Because nostalgia is always looking back in time. But time moves like the river. It goes forward on. At least, there is a place to act as some kind of marker on the trail. Where ever that may lead. At this point, I am no sure where the trail is exactly going.

“To get the answers to the questions. Then you have to accept the challenges”. – Jody Williams.

The problem really is that anyone who wants to take charge of government on any level is really admitting that they have a “screw loose”.

In today’s online world, forwarded e-mails now have more power to destroy you than anything that is written on your “permanent record”. The “permanent record” threat we all heard in school was really our first introduction to premise of an “urban legend myth”. Maybe my mom was right about the horrors of the Internet. But she refuses to get online because the “Internet is just a passing fad”. So I hate to admit that I may have to call her judgment on this one to be suspicious. However, it is a good thing for two reasons. I would have to become technical support for her. And if she ever saw what I am posting on the Evil Internet then I would be in even more trouble. My thought process (aka my humor and insight) is a very recessive gene I found in my family’s genetic DNA pool. It does have calling to it. “BAH BAH Black Sheep.”

The dilemma of our mass communication is that it has become a prime example of “supply and demand”. The result is that talk has become cheap. Not entirely though. Especially if it involves an unseen female on the other end who is willing to accept an exaggerated claim of one’s own personal dimensions. Who is really fooling who? At least with an honest unseen face.

I want to make a proclamation about the use of terms in a society with free speech balanced against lawyer fees. I want people to think about the things they reference. However, there are two things people throw out there too easily. These things are not being used to inform. They are used to inflame. So please stop using references to Hitler and 9/11. I want to make a disclaimer. I am not equating the two as being directly linked. One was an asshole and the other was a tragic event. Too many people on all sides throw these two terms about. I have seen the last five US Presidents compared to Hitler in some way. JUST STOP! These references will always be too emotional. And using them regardless of the intention can be very toxic.

I have been thinking about the First Amendment and free speech as a whole. It also reminded me about how I first came to issue of free speech and its effect on my life back in the mid 1980′s. There were a lot of groups attacking the music I was listening to. And they wanted to tell me what I should be listening to. I think this planted the idea in my head of how does some politician get the right or power to set the station on my stereo. The most famous group was the Parental Music Resource Center. It starts when tipper gore trying to be the cool parent buys her kid a Prince album. And was shocked to find out Prince was a horny guy and said so in his lyrics. She was outraged and made sure other people had to be outraged. There were Congressional hearings. And this was the first time I saw that politics was more theater than substance. This was the first time I became aware of a musician named Frank Zappa. I was not aware of his music at the time but he stood up and defended the music I was listening to. Here is the transcript of the hearing. And it can be viewed on line.

	Frank Zappa Who are the Brain Police .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

I know people went crazy when Scrabble announced they have changed the rules of the game. I check to make sure but Revelations did mention this event as a sign.

The First Amendment says, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

I do not want to eliminate it what so ever. Like the game of Scrabble I think this Amendment needs some additional clauses.

1. If you can take the time to speak to others. Then show some courtesy and take the same amount of time to listen.
   
2. He who shouts the loudest is not necessarily the winner to claim what is ultimately right. The Amendment does not a volume setting. In fact, the only time volume is really important is at a Motorhead or Slayer concert.
   
3. Talk is cheap. This means that how much money you made on what you are saying is irrelevant. Your sales sheet just means you may have been able to con people.
   
4. With all the major technology upgrades available you have no excuse for not changing the channel when you come across something you do not like. You are not living in a Clockwork Orange scenario.
   
5. I know we live in a time where news is more of tabloid outlet. I do not care about celebrities personal lives. I only care if they put out something I enjoy. I do not care what they do in the privacy of their home (as long as it is not illegal).
   
6. If you look over someone’s shoulder and you do not like what you see. The problem is on you. You cannot control the thoughts of others.
   
7. You have no right to NOT be offended. Once again, you control your response. Change the station or walk away.
   

    

   I heard this once in an interview. It comes from the actor Wendell Pierce speaking about his show The Wire. (A show you should take the time to watch if you want your preconceived notions of urban crime and justice challenged.)
   

   “…I also tell people who have issues with the show. And have issues with the white creators trying to tell predominately black stories. That you never lose your ability to be offended. Because that keeps people feet to the fire. That keeps people on their toes…”
   

The real power and the challenge of the Amendment (and probably the Constitution as a whole) is that it was never meant for passive people. It requires passion. it requires involvement.

I have also been listening to George Carlin’s 1990 album Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics.

There were two ideas in the album that are still very true.

If you want to control thought than you have to control language. (Rating systems and speech codes)

Anything is funny. But it depends how you construct the joke. His example: rape. Imagine Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd. Admit it. You at least had a chuckle.

People say they want this world to be pure. But look at what we are really watching and listening too.

The only time we really want and even demand a sterile and clean environment is in a hospitable emergency room. And yet they still serve that food.

There is a 1001 ways to cry about life on this planet. And no one seems to real do something about. However, if you find that one way to laugh about it. That is where the trouble begins. Someone is going to have a problem.

Like the Bill of Rights.

The game starts on first base. And so did every problem I have ever had with women.

It is all in the coaching.

The preceding message was to prove that God has a sense of humor. And if I am going to write things like that then my soul needs to have a disclaimer clause attached to it. And for those of you who think that God does not have a sense of humor. And find any attempt to point out God’s laugh factor to be sacrilegious. Do the following. Take a look in the mirror. And then take a look at the person you are with. Humor is a cruel lesson in life.

I am on this semi-religion kick after watching this season’s episodes of Lost. And I am trying to remember the story behind the names of Biblical and mythological characters they are referencing. And I am hoping to decode the story line of the show to see if I am going to right about the finale. The answer is…Probably not.

The headlines are filled once again with the usual suspects of crazy religious people running amuck in our world. It is funny they all preach that their “God” is one of peace. But somehow they seem to be caught with a shit load of guns and explosives. Then again I am willing to listen very carefully to anyone with a gun to my head. It does not seem like a good time to point out the flaws in their message of “peace”. But I think they are using the wrong word for “peace”. I looked up “peace” in the dictionary. The meaning of the word does not include .22, .45, .357, M-16, AK-47, etc. Check the spell checker. You may be thinking “Piece”.

God may exist in some other world as a single being. However, God on Earth with his many “only” spokespeople does not work per say. On Earth, with all of these people “God” comes off looking like a just another big bureaucracy. That means is there is lot of confusing and redundant paperwork. Ridiculously high fees. And the customer service call center is located in India too. I find it hard to believe I am talking to man named “Bob” there. God may have to consider downsizing his workforce here too. Everyone else is. So he will not look out of place. I must be crazier with that last thought. With all the religious wars being fought around the world. And I am thinking God needs to be even more competitive in the marketplace.

Here is my own personal prayer to God.

Please have a sense of humor. Please have a sense of humor. Please have a sense of humor. Please have a sense of humor. Please have a sense of humor. Please have a sense of humor.

If not. Please make it quick.

On a clear and starry night as you look up into the sky, you do begin to ponder your significance in this world. Are you part of something bigger than yourself? Or are you just a small speck that is easily overlooked? It is hard not to question your views on philosophy and religion. Nietzsche was right when he said, “As you stare into the abyss the abyss is staring back at you.”

What are you connected to? And all of the other questions related to it come to mind too. These thoughts have been racing through my head for a while now. I think they started about the time I received the announcement of my high school reunion. I made up an excuse and skipped it. High school seems to be “another time in a galaxy that is far away”. I was a quiet person in high school too. And most of the significant events in my life at the time took place outside of there. What do you have to really say to people who were not there for them? And of all the events in one’s life why are the high school years the one people want to reunite for? Maybe it is to say that you can be a survivor of post traumatic stress. The popular cultural take on high school is that it sucks. Just watch the movies about high school alone. Maybe high school reunion is to say time and space somehow changes the outcome. Who knows? And like any other tradition the one who started the idea of high school reunion should be treated as a “suspect”. There are events in your life best left to the past. Hindsight maybe 20/20. But do you really want to always be looking back?

I have also been listening to Roger Waters’ 1987 album Radio K.A.O.S. It is a concept album. It is the story of a handicap young man who has the ability to hear radio waves. He makes friends with a radio DJ and tries to reach out to the world. In the end, he hacks into the military computers and fakes the world that all the nuclear bombs have been launched all at once. Can’t you tell the 80′s foreign policy was an influence on this album? I would link to the songs but it is better to listen to this album as a whole. It reminds me of a time when people did tune into a radio to hear music and talk to the DJ between songs. Radio used to have a community sense to it. Today, for the most part it is just repetitive and overly argumentative programming.

I am not sure if there is anything we will tune into en masse every again. Sadly, it will be a horrific, mass tragedy. I am beginning to think that the Super Information Highway is becoming like the car drive on a normal highway. The only time we slow down to notice anyone else is at the scene of an accident. And even fewer stop to actually help someone out. There is a lot of information available on the Internet but the only sites that seem to get a lot of traffic are the ones showing someone who failed in a spectacular way. But I will admit it is really entertaining.

Mass communication is miraculous accomplishment when you think of the speed and the scale in which it is happening. However, there may be an overload of output sources. How many e-mail addresses, phone numbers, Twitters, Facebook accounts are effective to have in the end? Remember there was a time that when the phrase “Googling yourself” was code for masturbation. Now you are actually cross checking how you are referenced on the Web. And chances are you are still being called a “jack off”. Nothing really changes that much. Just the terminology has.

Everyone is running around trying to find that “voice” that speaks for them. They are trying to find their own channel out there. Tuning in. Tuning out. A mouse click is same as channel surfing the dial.

Social networks are the rage. But are they making anyone feel closer? I think the Newton’s Laws of Motion really applies to the nature of human relations when it is all broken down.

I am going to admit that I do like checking Facebook updates. I have learned more about what some of my friends are doing in the last year. Quantity is up. But the quality is about the same. I do not want that to seem like a necessarily bad thing. It is what is. People are as opened or as closed on the Internet as they are in real life. The idea that people recreate themselves in cyberspace seems a bit flawed. However, I do not play Mafia Wars, World of War Craft, or Second Life online so my research is a bit lacking on the topic.

I also watched the movie Crash again. It is a story about how people are connected in ways they are not even aware of.

I think this movie got me thinking again about how and why people are connected or not.

I have to admit to take some time now and then to scan who know who on Facebook. It is kind of funny who really knows who. There is a dark side at times to this. It includes free time, a couple of beverages and the search engine. And trying to figure out how the people you know came together and a part. And the cycle continues like it always does. It reminds me of lesson from a human communications class I took. It is the concept of relationship maintenance. Our intentions may be well placed however we only have the ability to hold meaningful relations with a small fraction of the people we know. There is no tool that can expand that ability. But still we want to know more people anyways. This is why we have unlimited calling plans on our phones. It the end, we are spinning around this universe in some way. This is why we need insurance. We are going to crash in some fashion. One way or another.
Now it is time to cue up the music.

I wish people would take into mind that a news article or commentary is not necessarily a history lesson.

History is taught as a linear function of time. That one event leads into another and therefore time acts like falling dominoes. The benchmark events in history that are used in the textbooks are the greatest victories and crushing defeats. However, when you take some time to delve into any historical event you begin to realize that history is more like the “tangled web” Shakespeare mentioned. There is a “gray area” that exist between the victory or defeat on that event. That is where the story of the people involves takes place but is rarely noted. You see how history is formed by the people involved and how people are changed by history.
There has been a lot of talk over the last few years over what was in the intent of the “Founding Fathers”.

I read Founding Brothers: The Revolutionary Generation by Joseph Ellis The first thing, I learned is that the problems this country faces today were quite similar to the Founders. The second thing, I realize after reading this book is that my history lessons were incomplete on the events of the start of this country.

I was never taught the real reason for the occurrence of famous Alexander Hamilton/ Aaron Burr gun duel. I assumed since it involved the men who founded this country then it had to be a matter of great national importance that could not be solved any other way. Wrong! Burr felt insulted by the way Hamilton spoke about him in a newspaper. This was basically the first recorded example of we would call today “Biggie Tupac Thang”. Why is it if “words” cannot hurt us we spend a lot of time fighting back with the “sticks and stones” when we hear things we do not like? Here is the funny part, neither one of them had any intentions of shooting that day Heights of Weehawken, NJ. Two shots were fired and Hamilton was killed. The witnesses that day then spend a lot of time years later changing their minds about what they saw that day. This is America’s original “What Really Happened that Day on the Grassy Knoll Conspiracy”.

There was a great debate over the national debt. They had to figure out how to pay off the bonds issued as payment to the soldiers who fought in the Revolutionary War. They also had to pay back the foreign countries that financed our Revolutionary War. Sound vaguely familiar today? We have a history of big ideas and looking for creditors to pay for them.

They also knew that by not abolishing slavery someday it would result in the possibility of a civil war. However, none of them had the political will to deal with it. “INSERT HERE” any social or budget reform of today.

Thomas Jefferson and John Adams were at one point good friends who laid out the foundation of this country. However, as they both served in various roles in the government it caused a rift between them. Neither one of them would speak to each other for many years. Yet in their later years they wrote many letters to each other trying to figure out what it all meant at the end. They both died on the same day July 4^th1826. Fifty years to the day they both signed the Declaration of Independence.

They were trying to find “Common Ground”. It is a nice change when people who seem to be the opposite can have a conversation. And then there are times that they can’t.

We need to get beyond this “INSERT IDENTITY HERE” Hyphenated American style of identity on a whole.

D-Day by Stephen Ambrose is account of the event that leads to end of World War II. This is about an ambitious, “all-in” plan that almost was a failure. It is about how the men who were the “boots on the ground” were able to make adjustments and overcome in an unimaginably tough scenario. (I shudder at the thought of how today’s 24/7 news outlets would have covered this.) This is how the lower ranks not the Generals who were the ones that made ultimate difference.

We live in a culture today that feels that all problems can be handled and managed by a “top down” approach. The history of this country more times than not has shown “bottom up” approach to be the game changer. This also goes against idea that the one who has a best image on television is therefore the better leader. The reality is that the one who is willing to get “ugly” and “slug it out” will prevail in the long run. It is also like the structure of a pyramid, there is more at the bottom.

 You do not have to accept my takes on the books above. You can read them too and form your own opinion.

I am always attempting to work on myself as an individual. This means I read a lot to expand my own knowledge base. I also try not to get myself too caught up in being part of mass groups or movements. However, they are unavoidable. That is the conundrum.

How many times have you heard someone say that all the answers to life are contained in the book “INSERT TITLE HERE”? They will only quote that one book to you. Over and over again. I have read many of those books in my life. And here is what I have found to be true. None of those books have a chapter on cooking, automobile repair, computer maintenance, etc. Guess what you need to read another book or two. If this was not true, bookstores and libraries would not exist. I have low tolerance for people who can only reference one source. It seems that too many people nowadays cling to one book, principle, political identity, whatever, etc.

I think the problem is people are generally lazy about how they take in and decipher information. It is a complex world.

I also think people only tune in one source also. And usually this is via a radio station. I am not above either. I found myself listening to sports radio during my commute time. I get it. Sports are something people use to have something to cheer for. I listen to all of this talk. And in the end, it means nothing. The opinions voiced have no real consequences in the world. As maybe it should be. Just like entertainment news. You get to form opinions that you feel matter and at the same time they most likely will not challenged.

NOTE: Some of the following ideas come out the play Talk Radio by Eric Bogosian. For non-readers, it was adapted by Oliver Stone into movie too.

The real problem exists with talk radio. I do not care who. I do not care if the person is on the left or on the right. I am not going to pretend that I have never listened to them either. Please whatever you hear from those shows could you take a moment to process and filter it through your brain. Before you spew it back to me. I hate when people “parrot” shit verbatim.

I wish I remember where I heard this next statement from. “Talk radio is for broken people. They need someone to tell them that they are right”. They do not want to challenge their beliefs. It is the show. The host does not want to leave anything to chance either. There is a call screener to make sure the show stays on script. Talk radio is not about having a conversation. It is about a person indoctrinating. However, the host needs attention and his ego feed. The host also knows the show must go on and that takes money. The show must offend the audience but not the advertisers. Follow the money trail. You may not get the truth. But at least you may get a clue about the agenda at work. The host needs to always remind you about all the hate mail. People like to hear about someone being metaphorically crucified and tune in just to hear “who is bringing the nails”. This attention feeds the machine. Rush Limbaugh needs Democrats more than he will ever admit to. Howard Stern needed the help of the FCC fining him to assure his success. They all claim they want to rid the world of their enemy. Remember in nature a parasite needs a good host to survive. Also as human beings we will always tune into a “David vs. Goliath” scenario. And they have the “script” ready.

I think people gravitate towards talk radio format because they feel it gives them a voice in our society. And that is probably the farthest thing from the truth. It does not want you to drive you to action. It needs the reaction. And it does not get the reaction if you are not listening. And that is what troubles the advertisers. The host voice is what is heard. Not yours. You are not in the game at all. You are on the sidelines. Just like a sports game. Talk radio seems to work like a lawsuit that settled for an “undisclosed amount.” A lot of money is thrown around and people get paid off. However, it is very unlikely that any of the conditions that caused the lawsuit in the first were fixed. The host cares the most about what he is saying and somehow fools you into believing he is going to fight for you. When was the last time you heard of a talk show personality actually crafting any legislative reform for this country?

I think this scene from movie Talk Radio sums it up best.

I do not want to come off as being on some high moral plane. I need to listen to others too to make it through a work day. I listen to podcasts on the MP3 player. What I enjoy is when people are having a conversation that is not based on just grinding an agenda out. I enjoy when people are having fun time. It is good to hear when people not only talk but listen to each other. There is also a big difference between talking to someone and talking about someone. And the show continues from that angle. It is more natural. It is something I miss having more often in my life. I listen to Keith and theGirl daily. And I listen to Kevin Smith’s SMODcast when they are posted.

NOTE: Kevin Smith made news recently when he was removed from a plane for being “too fat” to fly. This episode #106 he explains his side of the story. The next episode #107 he talks to another woman who was also involved with the incident. It gives you perspective from a person you may never think about.

The story on whole is about what happens when a person well connected to various social media outlets and poor customer service collides head on.

Finally.

Remember : Beware of a highly opinionated person.

This posting has been influenced by personal experience with Facebook postings. It has also been influenced by the podcast Keith and the Girl. I listen to it every morning at work. It is one of the best produced podcast out there on the Internet. It is explicit, rude and sometimes can get very socially unacceptable. The truth is that it is very funny, more importantly it is very honest. If you can handle it you should become a fan too. The host Keith is very critical of social websites. People are complaining that MySpace is too childish. So they are going to Facebook to escape it. Yet on Facebook people are constantly sending fake drinks, foods and other nonexistent gifts. (Sounds childish?) As Keith says, “Someone sent me a picture of a Mahito drink…O.K….What the fuck am I suppose to do it with it now? …How about sending me a real drink? …Asshole.” I get the same things sent to me by well meaning friends. Friends I feel have too much free time. I know. It is the thought that counts. So I am now going to send those photos of foods on to websites for starving children in Third World countries. The thought should make them feel better. I am such a humanitarian. But somehow you are going to be confused and think that I am the asshole. I guess it is all about the context.

The other thing is I get a lot of postings of the results of friends’ online pop psychology quizzes. Guess which 80′s movie I am. Guess which food I am. Guess which cartoon character I am. My top 5 books, movies, TV shows, etc. And the list goes on and on. And so does the listings on my Facebook Wall. I guess they can be fun. I feel out of courtesy you should maybe do only ONE a day. Better yet one a week. How about setting a specific page where it is the only place where the results are posted. There have been a lot of news reports on how people are not getting the jobs they want because of what they post on their Facebook accounts. The potential employer sees a photo of a guy in his college days doing a beer bong. Who didn’t do ones of those in college? The photo of a female during spring break is seen “popping her hood” to win a t-shirt. Doesn’t that seem ironic? However, I do not think that is the problem employers are having is they see the page from a person who is telling them they are a “hard worker”. However, the same person posted over a dozen results from various pop psychology quizzes. The employer is seeing a person with a lot of free time on their hands. And this person may have the potential to go “gun waving crazy in the break room” if they take these quizzes and their answers seriously.

Pop culture is something we cannot escape. No matter what we think. We are neither above it nor below it. We are right in the middle of it. However, our relationship to any specific aspect of pop culture is constantly changing. Our experiences with it changes. Also what we need from it changes. It has some sense of relevance unless it has been organized into some type of “retro night”. Please whenever possible avoid them. I guess everybody goes through phases where they need to do some sort of analysis on themselves. They need to take some sort of barometric reading on the state of their circumstances. They more tests there are the more dissection of themselves. And all of these dissections will provide more foundation for a valid answer whatever it maybe. I think people take these tests and want to steer each question to a specific answer. Once again the relevance is based more on the desired outcome. People want more of the illusion rather than the cold hard facts. Everyone wants to be reaffirmed about how they perceive themselves. Take this example. Here is the test. What would your stripper name be? I am going to guess it is going to be exotic and unusual. As a stripper name should be. We do not want reality because it does not work. No one is paying for a stripper named “Low Self Esteem”, “Coke Whore” or “Daddy Issues”. We want the illusion. However, we just cannot say it directly. So we call it advertising. I am guessing if you take more than a few of these types of tests then you are looking for a bigger answer than these tests will provide.

 I am not above this need to dissect my own psyche. If I was above it then I would not be writing a blog. I am always dissected myself. As being some type of writer I am always looking out at the world and culture and making judgment calls about it. I just don’t take multiple guess quizzes trying to determine an answer to what I see. I get the “prompt” in other words the “question”. And from there I attempt to find the answer. Remember those tests are created by others. And your answers are irrelevant in the scheme of things.

That all being said.

I am still not above all of it, the analysis, dissection and worse of all the nostalgia.
Which 80′s movie represents you? (In this case. Me.)

Given my age the answer should probably be a John Hughes movie. Like the Breakfast Club. How cliché. Or maybe it is The Outsiders.

I heard this song on my MP3 player. It comes from a movie soundtrack I had loaded on it.

MUSIC: Concrete Blonde (covering Leonard Cohen)


 

It is amazing that in a sad way that this song still has relevance to the time. This version is from the soundtrack for the movie Pump Up the Volume. (It was also the first movie in which I bought the soundtrack for. And after this movie, I also pay attention to how the soundtrack is assembled.) This movie is the story about a teenager who becomes underground hero/spokesperson on a pirate radio station. Christian Slater plays a quiet kid who is socially awkward and trying to find his place in a new school. He creates this persona called “Happy Harry Hard-on”. Every night, he broadcasts through the community on his pirate radio station. The technology may have changed over the last twenty years. However, the method and desire are the same. People create screen names and post blogs and podcasts using created persona names. Everyone has an opinion and an insight they know if they put their real face on will lead to a lot of trouble.

Here is a clip.

I also know the movie was released in 1990. I was never good a math so give a little slack here.

This movie also turned me on to the Lenny Bruce autobiography How to Talk Dirty and Influence People.

 To end.

I wish one day pop culture would embrace my writings in mass so I can officially quit my day job. It is not selling out. It is selling to.

But I will compromise on this matter of pop culture tests. If there is a test for “Which type of turd are you?” I will take it.

Happy?

I have been having a hard time sleeping lately. The truth is that after all of these years I should be used to it. I have a lot in my head lately. I find writing one way to attempt to deal with what is my head. I also was thinking about podcasting. I got a new MP3 player and did an experiment this morning with voice recording function. I have been listening to lot of different podcast. The Moth is a site with a lot of interesting storytelling podcasts on it. I was thinking about something in that frame. (Possibly) This was just a quick idea I had. The idea or premise needs work. (I did not expect to hit a home run on the first attempt.) I was going to record my thoughts as I drove into work in the morning. I need to do something creative with my time. The music on the radio for the most part is the same shit over and over again. Talk radio is a waste. News channels have more commercials than actually news. These channels do nothing for me other than to have something to yell at. So why not record for my 10-15 minute drive? This morning I did. It was definitely an experiment. Call it my “Morning Brew”. And the results are too rough to share. The 15 minute drive made a 43MB file. Not something people would listen to willingly. So I need to find a sound file editing program to condense the file. I also need to format or plan better because there was a lot of “dead air”. The biggest thing I need to do is to get comfortable with the sound of my own voice. It is surely does not sound like it does with in my own head. But with all the “voices” I have it was nice to only hear one this time.

And the coffee needs to be stronger for the ride. I do not sound awake.

The best sound was when my truck hit the monster pot hole.

I do say “Fuck” a lot during my morning commute. But it is not my fault. It is the fact, the other guy drives like an asshole. WARNING: They let anyone drive a school bus.

The MP3 player did record better than I thought it would.

But this format idea is in the development phase. And I am not sure what will end up being developed.

The last few days brought some really, really cold air to area. It was the cold that just runs right through you. It kind of fueled my already low mood. As Shakespeare might say “Now is the winter of discontent…” And the book The Winter of Our Discontent by John Steinbeck is on my “to read” list.

I also had yet another repair to do last week. The windshield of my truck cracked. Last summer, a truck kicked a stone and put a small chip in my windshield. Two weeks ago that chip became a ¼ crack. And driving to work last Wednesday morning the crack grew right across the windshield as I was driving about 60 MPH. I want to make the commute to work just once without having to say the phrase “What the Fuck?!” This was just the latest in series of breakdowns I have been experiencing over the last 2-3 months. I am completely drained of energy right now. And I learned another item a couple of days ago (which I will not mention because the circumstances are not completely my own to talk about) that I am hoping will resolve itself. However, the only approach that can be taken is “wait and see”.

I have also been having major problems staying focused and resolved on my writing. Every time that I resolve myself to spend time just doing nothing but writing it seems a “problem” comes that needs to be addressed immediately. It also happens every time I also resolve to clean the apartment too. There seems to be some unknown force in my life that wants to “clutch defeat from the jaws of victory”. There are many days in which I come home with low energy and doing something I enjoy would be a good idea. I.E. writing. However, I fear that dreaded problem phone call. I do not want to get defeated. And I end up just “vegging out”. Surprise! This method does not work well either. But I need a “cease fire” and to a chance to work out what I already need to work on. I do not want to get crushed yet again by interruptions.

It is hard to explain to people about my writing. It is an internal manifestation for me. People I think may try to understand it stand it if there was external cause for my writing. They would understand it if the writing was done as an assignment. Many people also need to see something external like a pay stub. It seems like there needs to be something hanging on the wall in order for them to acknowledge it. I think they feel there has to be something external in order for them to feel it is validated. Acknowledgment and validation has been a struggle for me to achieve. I am always looking at my blog stats to see what is being read. My web host logs, Word Press stats, Googling myself and other sites all give a different report of what is being clicked on. I heard an author once say that such tools were invented to torture writers. And they do.

I heard an interview on the radio the other day with comedian Robert Schimmel. He was talking about how he made through some tough personal times over the last few years. This is what he said that caught my attention. “When people start dictating their definition to you and if you do not live up to that then you are not successful. Then you need to come up with your own definition of success.” I come from a family and also have friends who seem to imply that success is being “married with children”. I am not married. But I do have a “child” in a sense. What is a child? A child is something that you create that is something that is bigger than yourself. It is a love-hate relationship. But you want it to grow and will do anything for the “child”. My “child” is my writing. I wish I could find a way to show this point better to others. But there will always be “the loneliness of the long distance runner” when it comes to being a writer.

Remember even Hitler’s father had “The World’s Greatest Dad” coffee mug in the cupboard. Think about that.

I heard once that you know you are in the right profession when you are willing to do it for free. That maybe true but this logic does not work when I have to pay the web hosting fee.

I have also watched a couple of movies this week that also seem to fit into this concept of struggle. What can I say? If I am going to “veg” I might as well be watching some movies. They were both fight movies. One was martial arts and the other was a boxing movie. I think this movies fighting is used more as metaphor for the struggle within. The first was Redbelt, the latest film from David Mamet. I like his writing because he is willing to push boundaries. I like his works because it is about people struggling within their own circumstances. Read his work Glengarry Glen Ross. The other movie was Rocky Balboa. It was sixth movie in the series and the best one along with the original. The character of Rocky is one of the best film characters. I know the series had a lot of ups and downs. I know this character has been the subject of parody over the years. But you need a good character in order to have good parody. A bad character will just be lampooned. And there is a difference between parody and lampoon. Rocky talking to his son says, “Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much can you take and keep moving forward.” This quote best sums up the story line for the movie. It think why the character is still relevant today is because it is about a person who just wants a chance to compete. To compete whether or not it ends up being a “win” or even a “lost”. And run those Rocky Steps.

And I want to leave with a laugh. This clip is kind of a metaphor on my current status courtesy of Ren & Stimpy.


 

Finally, I am looking for help painting two vacant apartments next weekend. The quicker I get it done the sooner I can get back to writing.

I have a co-worker who leaves his hunting magazines around the warehouse in where I “work”. And I was bored like usual so I was paging through one the other day. Outdoor Life magazine announced their 2008 Editors’ Choice for “Ammunition of the Year”. This was the first line to the article. I did not make this up. It said, “No gun is better than its load. That’s what does the job.” I then looked at the cover to make sure I was not reading Penthouse Forums. I am just pointing this out for I now have a new approach for this year. Hopefully the line works.

Yesterday, I was in a local home improvement store. I could not believe it. They were closing out the winter items and putting in the spring items. It is January 10^th in Buffalo, New York. Winter does not usually end until the annual St Patrick’s Day in March. We have two more months of winter here roughly. And we will need things to deal with it. Like say rock salt. I had to buy if I wanted to make sure I have it. Sadly, it probably will not be enough. But I will not be able to buy it. However, lawn furniture will be available for purchase though. Here is a clue. I do not think about lawn furniture in January because I cannot see my lawn. There is 2-3 feet of SNOW on top of it! Here is another observation. The economy of this country may be slowing down because stores are not stocking the items we need for the season we need it for.

The other thing happened to me today in a store. I was behind a woman who thought she was the only person who existed and she had issues with everything. She was draining the life force out from the place. And there was not that much of it to begin within there. All I could think was that I found the woman who was the inspiration for the term “bitch slap”. I am not advocating violence. But you have to admit that there are indeed people who have it coming to them.

On now with the post. And I have a lot of things to say in this one.

Henry Rollins re-issued his 1991 album Live @ McCabe’s. It is hard to believe I bought that album when it came out. It was and still is a very influential album for me. This is a “spoken word” album where he is not playing any music. It is not stand up comedy per say but there are funny moments. There are also parts that are hard to hear him talk about. It is about the story and trying to come to some insight. It is something to that inspired me to combine that drama with laughter. I am not sure it has always come off in my writings. But I that is what I am trying for. And the experiment continues.

 Trying to find to find some insight to an awkward situation.

I was watching Magnum Force last week. The film ends with another famous Dirty Harry quote. Watch. (Sorry I could not embed this clip)

 Yes! A man needs to know his limitations. Too many times that knowledge comes the hard way.

Like many out there I planned some resolutions for the New Year. And now I feel like the Lloyd Bridges character in the classic movie Airplane! who picked the “wrong week”

I wanted to start the year off with an effort to curtail some of my many vices. Vices that will go unnamed at this point in time. It is a bit frustrating. Not that I believe in such things but I was reading my horoscope in a local freebie paper. It said that I should, “Add some compassionate sarcasm and loving satire into the mix, and you will generate lots of sweet karma”. What is that supposed to mean? I do not have a clue. I want to talk about an event in my life that forced major change but I cannot. Simply because “whatever you say can be used against you in a court of law”. I have a situation which most likely has to be resolved by the court system. It has been a frustration beyond frustration for me. It changed my economics drastically and quickly. But back to the horoscope for a moment. The industrial complex where my job is located was sponsoring a blood drive. And I wanted to call to say I have some “donors” for them. But I was informed that I could not “donate” other people’s blood for them. It is a crime. I said it would be easy for them because all they would have to do is hold a bucket under where I punched these “donors” in the head. I do not think that this is “compassionate sarcasm” that “karma” was looking for. But I am curious to know how many punches it takes to get a pint. We know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop!

I seem to have to a lot of crap to deal with over the last 2-3 weeks. But I listened to an interesting talk about poop though last week. (Episode 874) I know have a lot of crap because a few days before Christmas my sewer line backed up. Talk about getting a lump of coal in the stocking. But I found it to be a religious experience. I prayed all night for the sewer not to back up and out of the sump pump hole. And my prayers were answered. Just wished it did not cost me what it ended up costing. Prayers answered so I had to put money in the collection basket. I maybe a five time lapped Catholic but it all came back to me.

And speaking of breaking down my MP3 player volume control broke on me. (And not to mention the small crack in my truck’s windshield that is slowly growing.) I had to replace it with a new one even with my current tight economics at the moment. Having a MP3 player helps make the work day move along and saves me from having to listen to a lot of useless conversations. Podcasts have helped me to learn a lot over the last year. It makes me feel productive. It is also bigger so I can listen to more things. It also plays videos. I need to find out if there is a way to convert DVD’s to watch on it. I am not sure. But with all that I need to do this can wait a bit. But if you know how it can be done please e-mail me. It may save me some time and frustration. I am short on the first one and abundant on the other at the moment.

I found also found an interesting music podcast called HamRadio. It features a very eclectic listing of music. I like that it not the same music over and over which seem to be the format to most radio stations these days. There is nothing new to radio and that maybe why people are abandoning it for podcasts. Radio is too afraid to challenge their audience. Repeating the same songs over and over is boring. No one wants to spend time being bored. If you like interesting playlists check out Harmony in My Head
or Roots Rock Radio.

But HamRadio turned me on this song for this posting.

MUSIC: Chemical Brothers

I think the hardest part is the situation caused my economic shift rippled through other things. There are a few things that I wanted to do that I have had to put on hold and may even have to cancel for this year. It is January and I am already sounding like a Buffalo Bills fan. “Maybe next year will be better?”

There is part to letting people in. However, if things do not look right it is hard to share. I know my website could and should look better. I was going to hire a web developer to get the website into shape. I know I should learn for myself and someday I might. But my job is to write and create. Web developer job is to format site. I can only cover so much ground. And I have to learn to stop trying to cover all the ground on my own. There are lessons to learn. But I have to find people out there who are willing to be teachers even partners in the process. In other words, I need more doers than talkers. And that is the opposite purpose of talk radio.

I also wanted to get a video camera because I miss working with one. So the digital camera will have to do for now but I wish it had a better zoom lens. Beggars cannot be choosers. Unless you are the automotive or banking industry. So I need to figure how to put four wheels on my problem or convince someone that my change jar is indeed a bank. I need to be really creative here. But here is to hoping for federal emergency funding.

Something happen to me at the end of last November. It became official. I achieved something that I thought would happen later in life. I became “Too old for this shit”. It lead to my latest bathroom reading book entitled Rules for Aging: A Wry and Witty Guide to Life By Roger Rosenblatt. It was a Christmas gift from my aunt. But I am stuck at the moment attempting to read Chapter 3 called “Let Bad Enough Alone”. So I am going to have to increase the fiber in my diet to focus on reading the book. And she also gave me the book The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook by Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht. But I am pretty sure in the short term I am not going to need to how to deal with escaping quicksand, how to wrestle free from an alligator or knowing what to do if my parachute failed. Call me optimistic. But I am still crossing my fingers. Just to be safe.

I want to leave with posting my playlist.

Simon and Garfunkel-Sounds of Silence. I may come off a quiet person in person but I do not deal well with silence. But this does not mean I want to be subjected to constant chatter. Especially when I am trying to watch a movie.

Husker Du-What’s Going On?

Tom Waits-Hold On. For two lyrics. “You live it up you won’t live it down.” And “You don’t meet good girls in coffee shops”.

Black Label Society-The Blessed Hell Ride

The Headstones-Three Angels. “The problem with living is when you get there you’re seldom forgiven”.

Soundgarden-Room a Thousand Years Wide

A Perfect Circle- The Noose, Disconnect. Just listen to their The Thirteenth Step album.

Tim Wilson-One Idiot Away. Had to throw in a song for a laugh.

Screaming Trees- Dollar Bill. Sometimes you just come up short.

Tres-Writing on the Wall

Mr. Bungle-Chemical Marriage. Sometimes a nonsensical song just simply works.

Bruce Springsteen-Dead Man Walking. “Between our dreams and our actions lies this world.”

Our Lady Peace-One Man Army from the album Happiness is a Fish You Can’t Catch

Neil Diamond-If I Don’t See You Again.

Quiet Riot-Metal Health. Had to end with 80′s retro classic

Finally, let me end here. There is an old adage that says, “It is always darkest before the dawn”.

That may be true. But you have to know where the horizon is so you can be looking the right way.

And here is to putting more mileage on the grindstone.