Archive for the ‘Reading’ Category

Is It Cosmic Karma?

Wednesday, December 17th, 2008

Let me give you the starting perspective to this posting.

I just finished reading Denis Leary’s new book, Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid. And I just watched the following clip of his to attempt to get into the “mood” of the season. And right now I have more than enough “mood” to go around.


 

 

 

 

 

I try to keep perspective of myself. And it is not always an easy exercise. I know that people out there have more issues and problems than I do. I also remember the lesson that “You should not judge a person until you walk a mile in their shoes”. True. But I can only write about the journey of “my shoes”. I like to take walks in the woods from time to time. I like taking photos of what catches my eyes. Like the picture here. I also leave the MP3 player at home. These walks from time to time help when I get caught way too much within my own “head space”. But right now they are not working all that well. I need to do things that give me a moment to attempt to be outside of myself.

 

MUSIC: Gnarls Barkley (This song comes from their amazing St. Elsewhere album)

I am also trying to come to terms with being a Buffalo Bills fan. I am becoming aware that being one maybe causing “a disturbance in my force”. The Bills will break your heart in more than one way it seems. I am more of aware of this after last weekend’s lost to the New York Jets by way of last minute fumble. The Bills this year seem to be able to “snatch defeat from the jaws of victory”. In doing so they brought back the yearly thought by fans of “maybe we will be better next year”. Will this team ever get beyond the memory of “Wide Right”

I seem to going through my own battle with a potential failure. I own an apartment building and I have tenant moving out but he is doing through terms of the lease agreement. He was a good tenant to have. On Monday morning, my other tenants in the lower apartment informed me that they were moving out Jan 15th and without paying. My real estate rental agent is aware of the problem and is working quickly to resolve the issue. Unfortunately, I have a feeling I am going to end up in claims court with these tenants. I have had to make quick money adjustments to get through the winter and several projects are going to have to be delayed. There are a few things I wanted to do with the website that with have to be delayed. That pisses me off. I know one way to deal with my “head space” issues is to write but right now home is not a good space to be. I find myself walking around my apartment giving the middle finger to the floor. I am also avoiding the trouble tenants and letting the agent deal with them. I know myself and I am going to say something I am going to regret. Right now home is not the place I want to be. The writing is suffering more than I want it to.

I really wish when I decide to focus more on the writing and that I did not have to deal with other people’s bullshit. Sadly, it is bullshit I have no choice but to deal with.

I am going to say this. If you are going to act like an irresponsible asshole and think you should get a pass on it because it is “Christmas Time” then I am going to tell you to “Go Fuck Yourself!” And then I should be allowed one free punch right in your face. It does not matter what age, race, gender, creed, political, religious belief, etc. you are. There are people who deserve to be punched. And hard. I know this country is in the midst of serious challenges. I do not care which political party you subscribe to. This is what it is going to come down to. The responsible people are going to have to take on even more responsibility in order to overcome the irresponsible people of this country. And those irresponsible people are going to have to learn why they do indeed “Suck!” Sadly, you can’t fix stupid.

I am trying to maintain some hope in humanity. So tonight I am going to watch the classic movie To Kill a Mockingbird. Gregory Peck’s Academy Award winning portrayal of Atticus Finch is example of what more people should aspire to be in this country. This is the type of man there should be more. There was a reason why this role was voted by the American Film Institute as the “Greatest Movie Hero of All Time”.

I have also counter balanced this movie with my yearly anti-Christmas movie for the upcoming December 24th. This year will be “B&B” Eve. “Bourbon and Bombs”. The movie being seen will be the dark comedy classic Dr Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. This is the late Stanley Kubrick’s humorous look at nuclear war. Peace on earth may only be achieved when there is a lot less of people around to screw up the peace on earth. There are times when I too want to ride that bomb down along side Slim Pickens in that memorable moment. You need to sometimes be a bit over dramatic to get people’s attention.

I also got an early Christmas present. A new grindstone. But this one came with a coffee cup holder.

I am going to work over upcoming weeks on my sense of humor. They say laughter is the best medicine. In that case, many years ago when my friend was having cancer surgery and I was in the waiting room. Why did people look at me like I was an asshole for making jokes about him? I should have given all of them a medical bill for my services.

I am just trying to find the balance to the cosmos here. Or maybe it is over there.

Just Answer the Label

Thursday, December 11th, 2008

I do not want to go into the particulars. But I just want to say that I do not do so well this time of year. It is a long and twisted story that I would rather not tell here. I think it has to do with the fact that there are too many benchmark events close together. If I could avoid this time of year I would. Let’s say. If there was an experiment that required a person to be locked in a biosphere with no contact in order to study the long term effect of watching paint drying, I would sign up to be the “guinea pig”.

My story would combine the following books: War and Peace Leo Tolstoy, Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad, Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey (to add some levity to the story). For those of you who do not read books (because you cannot) then combine the movies Bad Santa and Apocalypse Now (updated Redux version).

I have been (and always will be) looking for something to inspire me to write. I also need to “goof” a bit. I need to ward off the effects and aftermath of what is called “Tis the Season”.

I know I rally against people who drink a beer because of its marketing campaign. My favorite beer of choice at the moment has a “gimmick” that made me want to write a few ideas out. Yes! I am not above the influence (but in this case I was bit under the influence) of the marketing forces. Each bottle comes with a question on the back. It is one of those “if you had to choose” questions.

So here is what a low B.A.C. and just a little too much free time lead to.

Cue the Music!

Question #1:

To turn water into beer –or–Anything into Gold?

This ability would be the quickest way ever to start a mass cult following. My life would achieve a whole new way of “J.C.” without the “H” living. The way most labor in this country is performed on weekends in this country is by the promise of beer in exchange for labor. And I know I could get things done. Call it “the beer can on a stick” initiative. However, my work force would look like something out of a zombie movie. The downfall is I would use this power at the most inappropriate time to be determined later. The ability to turn everything into gold though would attract the “gold digging whores”. Then I had a twisted image of Pussy Galore (best Bond woman name ever) being killed by being spray painted gold in the James Bond movie Goldfinger. (But then I checked it was another girl who died this way in the movie. It is the idea that counts here. And remember that beer drinking lead to this posting) Then I had the demented thought of killing “two birds (in this case one “cat”) with one stone”. What does this mean? Let me just say it is a “dirty thought”. So I am going with water into beer and hoping my “moral compass” turns up or at least points “right”.

Side Note: I am developing my “Pizza and Beer” economic recovery plan in my spare time.

Question #2:

To always make the right decision –or—Always have a way out?

If I could do the first part then I would lose a major reason to drink beer in the first place. Guilt. The secret ingredient that makes religion work all so well. Have a beer. The second part of the question is good reason for a beer too. Success. That does not need the use of a law firm. Cause to celebrate. Have a beer. Homer Simpson says, “Here’s to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life’s problems”. That statement is Brilliant. On this question I am going to have to go with the coin flip because either way works. He could have been a Founding Father like Ben Franklin who said, “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” I wish politicians could say much profound statements like this. I would be happy and more eager to vote. The answer for me to this question is to always have a way out. An escape plan is always a good thing to have to assure personal survival.

Question #3:

To be stuck on a desert island with a supermodel –or—A boat builder

Why does ever label have to be “an either or” decision? Why cannot be both for once? Why is there always some moral dilemma when vice goes up against survival? In this moment, why does an angel appear on one shoulder and the devil on the other? In this case, I want both. This question does have more to it. The truth is the only way I would be “stuck” with a model is through highly improbable odds to begin with. And even higher odds to be with one on a desert island on top of it. So with these high odds in play then why can’t she have boat building as a hobby? Why can’t the character of Kate from the show Lost exist for real? There is much more to this question. And besides I have a lot more analysis on the reality behind the premise to question. Like the following. I hope the island is a small one. I have a feeling that every day she would want to play “hide and seek” for real. And it would involve a lot of running. But more like chasing. It will not be like Gilligan’s Island. I have other thoughts on this one but I am going to stop here.

 

 

But let me add a word of advice before I go. If you find yourself spending a lot of time within your own “head space” please do not watch the movie Field of Dreams.

The Social Network Experiment

Sunday, November 9th, 2008

This is a posting I have been trying to put together for a couple of weeks now.

I also just re-read the book The Tender Bar by JR Moehringer. It is a memoir about how the people of a local bar shaped his experiences and being growing up. It is an interesting view of how people shape our “social makeup”. This book had some influence (along with a few more) on this posting.

Pearls and Swines is one of my favorite daily comic strips to read. It is subtly demented. And I like that. This was a strip that fits into my posting.

Pearls Before Swine
 

If you are like me there are days in which you have the feeling that you may not exist. People move about like you are not even there. It happened again the other day to me. I stopped by my local pizzeria to grab a couple of slices for quick bite to eat while running a few errands. It was lunchtime and I do realize that such places do get very busy. But I stood there for about five minutes and not one person acknowledged my existence. It would have been nice if I heard at least, “I’ll be right with you” But I got nothing. So I walked out. And now I need to find a new local pizzeria. I know we are in trying economic times. But here is a clue. The real major cause behind declining revenues for businesses is POOR CUSTOMER SERVICE.

But sadly I do desire attention. I am constantly checking my website stats to see what people are reading on my site. It is a hard way to measure the effect my writing has. A couple of months ago I bought a copy of Wired magazine. It featured a young woman on the cover and it stated how she improved her website’s traffic. She was good looking and made sure she had her photo taken with celebrities whenever possible. This is not a strategy that I could adopt. I will never be an “Internet Slut”. If that ever did happen you can forget about your 401k plan. The world will end at that instant. She did not produce anything but she was just seen as being next to people who were. I would like to be on the “producing” side. That is why I write.

Although when I was going through the magazine’s website I came across an article for Leia’s Metal Bikini. What can I say? Star Wars had a major influence on many aspects of my life. I know this is pointless given the title of this posting. But I had to share it.

MUSIC: The Rolling Stones

 

I have had a couple of friends years ago who would do the following. Every time they broke up with a girlfriend they would spend the next month or two contacting all of their previous ex-.girlfriends. I found this to absolutely pathetic. Looking back on all of it. All of those ex-girlfriends were just as pathetic to be willing to play along with this. It was all just wasting time until they found yet another girlfriend. I just could never figure it out. I never wanted to either. I was above such pathetic behavior. But I will now confess that I am not beyond attempting such behavior. I started web searching for a few people I lost touch with. I did find a couple of them but I am not going to contact them. This may look like cyber stalking but it is more like being a distant voyeur. But they all have a new life and it does not involve me which is fine. I realize is that people change. And we cannot control that change in others only ourselves (And that is true if you are very, very lucky. Or medicated to some degree.) The people you know one day are the same people you used to know the next day. I am not sure who said it but its true “You can’t go home again”. I was attempting to recapture “the lightning in the bottle” sense of things and that only happens in the movies. You can let yourself get caught for too long in the “What if?” scenario. Especially, when it comes to the past.

And DO NOT bother asking who they are or who they were? It does not matter in big scheme of things. Besides I am not going to tell anyways.

There was another story that got me thinking about “contacts” but I am going to save that one for a script or part of one someday down the road.

It is a fact to life that you cannot escape. You can only adapt to. That fact is that no matter how hard you try to fight you cannot escape the reality that your social network is going to change. The context of your social network changes slowly over time. It is rarely caused by a sudden drastic change of circumstances. The catalyst that drives your relationships changes because your needs evolve too. But also what you are able or willing to contribute to relationship.

I have resisted the need to have a social network webpage. I have found that many of these pages seem to just nothing but an attempt at self creation. This means that the people are not being totally honest and real. This thought was confirmed in a chapter of the book Freakonomics in which the author profiled people’s stat and found that they were not in line with stats for our society on a whole. People were taller and incomes were higher. So if it may all be bullshit then why are these sites popular? I now know why people flock like crazy to new social network websites. They want to claim their screen name before someone else beats them to it. The guy who has the name wanted has not used his page in over 3 years. And the only “friend” he could find was “Tom”. I do not know why anyone out there would want to even use my “identity”. And sadly not using the name that entirely well on top of it. It seems like adding insult to injury. I am just acting a little too melodramatic. It is my fault that I did not cross the finish line first when it came to claiming my name. There should be some type of appeal process to claim a name. In my case, reclaim my name. I fell like some sort of victim of “identity” theft.

I resisted it for a long time. The many reason is that I did not want to put a “face” to my name. I am trying to be a writer. Honestly, a better writer. I also thought there show be some “air of mystery”. There should be some “imaginary wall” between the writer (me) and the audience (you). I felt that if you know too much about the author then it takes away from the writing piece. There is less of a chance of discovery to be found reading the piece. However, if I wanted to maintain this illusion trying to live a JD Salinger lifestyle then I not should have been writing a blog. It is through the blog I have been slowly chiseling away at the “wall”. So I might as well get with the times and see what happens.

This is what I am not looking for.

I am not interested in 90% of the chances for any type of “reunion”. It is hard to make conversation with people who existed in a moment of time that is no longer part of your life. Especially class reunions. School in all of it forms are not places I want to visit again at. I take to the Mark Twain quote. “Don’t let college interfere with your education.” This is where education happens. Schools are nothing more than glorified “bleacher seats” in life. There is a big world of difference between school life and the real world. Besides, it is time to make connections for a future rather than trying to relive in the past. A past that I was wanting out of when I was going through it. The past lives in a finite form that comes down to “that was then this is now”. In those “reunion” moments all you can honestly talk about is the weather or maybe a sports game with any sense of immediate honesty. I rather be looking forward now. Instead of going back in time.

I do not want to join on-line play groups. I do not want to be a “Mobster”. Nor do I want to be traded for “Pet” points. You may enjoy being in them. But it is a bit creepy. Think about it. It is.

I do not want to nor am I going to take any online pop culture tests about my personality. For example, I am not going to answer 20-30 questions to see which fast-food item reflects my inner being. I do not need all of those questions to answer that one. For me it is the Louie’s Texas Red Hot.


         

An absolutely disgusting mess to look at.

But with time an acquired taste. Unique even.

Best served with a beer.

I also am wary of making “friends” with “famous” people or groups. I get the feeling all I making “friends” with is the intern who has to maintain the page. And all I will get is postings saying that new t-shirts and coffee mugs are available. And a reminder to vote for them in surveys to make sure they win awards.

What am I looking for?

People who are willing to honestly engage with my work. People who are willing contribute. And help teach me the skills I need to grow. Especially website development at this moment.

But I would like to meet a woman willing to play Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots. Seems just a bit passive aggressive. Doesn’t it? Please put all Freudian analysis in the Comment section below. But the truth is and this non-negotiable. I require a woman with a true “sense of humor”. Because she is going to need it. And then some.

Ultimately, I am going to try something new and be a little more open to the possible of things. As long as it is legal. And hopefully falls within the constraints of my personal budget. Hopefully, whatever may happen is interesting. It is kind of like the premise behind the book Yes Man by Danny Wallace

If you care to join me. Sounds I am starting a cult. (Now that would be power!) And Karma maybe up to something here I found a copy of Join Me by Danny Wallace at the bookstore. And I need to re-evaluate my Karma with yet another year of not being able to vote for a winning candidate. My strategy of voting against any and all incumbent candidates has not brought about any change what-so-ever. Sorry. I am bad.

You can find me here:


www.myspace.com/foleywrites

I am working on trying to format my MySpace page. So please stay tuned.

And I have yet another place I will be posting blogs at. This time I am the “DJ from Hell”

http://www.playlist.com/foleylistens

Me of Little Faith…Too

Thursday, October 30th, 2008

MUSIC: The Jim Carroll Band


It is amazing that two people can talk, talk, talk and still talk some more for over two years. And after two years, most people still have no idea where these two people stand.

This is the same premise behind my own religious education as a child. To be honest I have failed at being Catholic. I am not even the Catholic who makes it to Christmas and Easter service. I know I proclaim to be somewhat conservative when it comes to my own political views. But I am the so-called conservative who does not go to church. People like me are in the minority for sure when it comes to being a conservative per say. In fact, I have only been to church in the last decade for weddings and funerals. They are basically the same. They are a ceremony marking that “Things are going to be changing around here!” Plus there is a lot of crying at both them. Some of the crying maybe silent. But it’s there.

The closest thing I have to religion is being a Buffalo Bills fan. Like faith itself. It is not easy. It was easy to believe when the Bills were 4-0 to start the season this year. But after last week’s lost to the Miami Dolphins the faith is being tested. And this week’s game against the New York Jets is a test once again. Especially, now that the Jets have the former Green Bay Packer’s patron saint quarterback Brett Farve playing for them. It will take faith in Bills to achieve victory. Not to mention a better pass rush by the Bills’ defense. Bills fan want to see the afterlife a.k.a. the playoffs this year.

I guess everyone from time to time goes through a phase of questioning one’s own religious beliefs. Even atheists. They never miss a “God” reference. I am not sure why I would do such questioning on my own. I do not have any cause for such action. No wife, kids or medical mystery happening within my life. The common causes for “crisis of faith”. I guess. My “biological clock” does not have any batteries in it. I guess after all of these years there is still some residual effect from my Catholic education.

So what caused these thoughts to come into my head?

I just finished reading the latest book from comedian Lewis Black entitled, Me of Little Faith. It is very humorous take on religion. If you take the subject of religion seriously then I warn you NOT TO READ THIS BOOK. I do not blame him for the thoughts. But I have to give credit where credit is due.

I keep hearing that in troubling times it is important to keep a sense of humor. Now more than ever. I have even heard that a sense of humor is a “gift from God”. Well, if that is true then God’s gift lead me to the principal’s office a few times in school. She did not get the “gift” from God. And I got detention.

But I believe God does have a sense of humor. And if we laughed more it would be good for us. Especially in church. It may improve attendance. I have an idea on how to combine laughs and God’s teaching. I think the lessons of the Bible would catch on better if they were revealed through “knock knock jokes”. Think about it. I wish I could write one right now as example. However, I am not sure how lightning strikes are treated in regards to my homeowner’s insurance policy. Faith versus liability is a very tricky proposition in regards to my deductible.

As Lewis Black said on one his comedy albums about Ireland, “they have successfully combined religion and alcohol. It is enough to make a Jew weep.” So I think there should be an interfaith service on Sundays held at the bar. It starts when the priest and the rabbi walk in. However, the service will be over by kick off time for the football game. Then the “prayers” begin. Depending on how you bet the games. And how big the bookie’s collection agent is.

The Inuksuk

Wednesday, August 6th, 2008

The next and final post about my recent vacation.

MUSIC: Eddie Vedder

NOTE: This song comes from the soundtrack for the movie Into the Wild which is based on a book by Jon Krakauer (based on a true story). I highly recommend all three: the book, the movie and the soundtrack.

I have traveled up into Northern Ontario in Canada many times in my life. The first time I went up to Temagami, Ontario I noticed these rock sculptures along the side of Highway 11. At first, I thought I had just thought I saw something odd. But I would see many more of them. In fact, I started to keep a close lookout for them. I would later find out that they were a marker meaning “man was here”. I would later find out they were called an “Inuksuk”. (The link has a nice description) And the following is quote I found about them.

The Inuksuk are ancient Canadian Inuit structures. Built in the image of man, they are a signature on the Arctic landscape of a hunter who has previously passed this way. Their strength of presence gives comfort to the traveler, assuring him that he is not alone. They are also messengers indicating safe passages, natural shelter and good hunting.

As I said I find these to be interesting. Although on this trip I did not see as many as I have had in the past. It could be as a result of the gas prices that not many people are traveling into this region. It can also be that many of them have fallen down due to weather and the simply passage of time.

I guess you can call yourself a tourist when you buy and over priced item. I am guilty as charged here. I bought a miniature “Inuksuk” (pictured on the left) for top of the entertainment center in my home. I do not know exactly why. But I thought it was something the place needed. Save the comments on that is not all the place needs. I know it needs more.

The problem is I hate doing “touristy” things many times. A tourist to me seems to be a person who travels to places just to look at things. I need to be doing something. I like that “hands on” things. I want to be a “traveler”. That type of person who seems to be willing to do something. I had to do something for myself while on vacation. So I took a couple of solo kayak trips around the island (Bell Island) I was staying on. It was nice to just be able to go and do something without having a “committee meeting” beforehand. On the back side of the island there is a mini bay area. It was peaceful and the water was very still. The woods around the bay were dense to try seeing anything that may lie within. There are still nice places that do exist on this planet. Kayaking by myself gave me a chance to see things at my pace. I was also able to “investigate” further the things that caught my attention. It was nice to have a chance to float in the water looking down at the fish below.

 


I had to also do something on my own to add to my “traveler” experience. This time up there I had a chance to do something I have wanted to every time I have been up there. I got the chance to make a couple myself. They were both placed on the back side of place called Bell Island on Temagami Lake. The first one was built on a trail near a footbridge. I wanted to build my own “Inuksuks”. The first one I built was along the trail that runs on the backside of the island. It was on the other side of the footbridge that is located there. But sadly, a couple of days later when I went back there only to find that it had been kicked over by someone or something. I guess you find that anywhere you go.

I did build a second one. It is also near the footbridge. It was in the woods along the shoreline of the bay. I am not sure how long it will last. I realize that the weather along with march of time will probably reclaim my “Inuksuk”.

I am not sure if anyone out there will ever find them. I get why people take walks into the woods by themselves. It is a time to be with yourself and your thoughts. Without the distractions of modern life. And without the need to explain and defend those thoughts. If you find this marker by yourself some day. I just want to let you know that “I get it”.