Pink Floyd music puts me into weird head space. I like it. But lately I have been spending way too much time there.

I recently had a minor accident that is going to leave me a nice souvenir for a while. I do not want to go into the details. They may flip people out. I also started to write notes about the incident. And it started to lead to way too many tangents. It also revealed more issues were underlining too. It was leading to more issues than a magazine rack. So I decided to put away the notes on this one. I will save the material for a later time. It may be subtext to something I may write later on. I am not sure of when or where. It will fit somewhere when the time is right. It is just causing way too much time in the headspace. And resulting in the usually battle of devices and vices.

I also realized a lot of my recent writings have come from the internal spark. And I was spending too much trying to consistently find that source. I need to find develop other external sources to prompt me into writing. I did have one partial success with this method years ago. The prompt “A Nick in Time” did lead to my winning with my short screenplay Customer Service Representative: Nick. (However, I still wish the production company did fall through making it. But I don’t want to revisit that.) So lately, I started subscribing to get writing prompts. I am going to be using them from time to time. I am just going to go with the mental flow they may cause. I am not going to try to fit them into any fixed format either.

Prompt: have a dialogue with the devil on your shoulder.

    “If you are going to sit there could you at least lose some weight?”

    ”That weight is your conscience.”

    ”And how could that be?”

    ”All of your feelings are the equivalent of potato chips.”

    ”But they are filling.”

    ”Nothing but empty calories. But don’t get me wrong I really like the ranch flavored one.”

    ”Well, I’m going to have salt and vinegar today. So take that!”

    ”Right back on you…(softly) Idiot.”

Prompt: picnic

Ironically, the environmentalists were very upset when the ants arrived at the picnic. Probably it was because they did not bring a dish to pass.

Prompt: the animals’ perspective at the zoo

“You would be pissed off too. If I paid $10 to walk through your home and then demanded you to perform tricks too.”

“I bet you I could scare that one over there.” “I back that bet with my bananas.”

    ”At this point I am pretty much numb to the sound of tapping on the glass to get my attention.”

    ”Damn! They have such ugly babies.”

Prompt: longing

    Longing is the feeling that does not seem to fade away with time.

More prompting to come…

So here is my judgment based more on curiosity than anything else. I am beginning to wonder about the rise in popularity in body piercings and tattoos. I am not about to stop it, But at times I fail to see the point. But I have a possible theory on why. I think those people are preparing for the future. The daily news outlets along with all of its pundits who are constantly telling us that our only future option is that we are “fucked”. We are going to end up in a “Road Warrior Scenario” as a society. But the human race is also so vain too. They always want to be fashionably prepared at all costs on top of it. So they are getting ready with piercings and tattoos. So when they shit hits the fan all they will have to do is a quick costume change. I think this proposes a possibility for future investment in the mean time. Just in case. Somehow things do work out. I am going to share my ideas with anyone out there with more scientific knowledge than myself. All I ask. If you are successful in developing them then please send me a check for 1% of your earnings. Here they are the ideas. First, silly putty should be altered so it can act as “spackle” for human flesh. Like divots on a golf course some piercings will need to be replaced. Second, graffiti remover formula needs to be adjusted so that it can easily be sprayed on. And like spray tan there needs to be many colors and tones to match the variety of human skin conditions. These inventions will convert the human form into the equivalent of an Etch-A-Sketch. I know people who have piercings and tattoos and they all say that they will always want them. I have learned that no one accumulates age without some degree of “buyer’s remorse”.

However, I am not above body modifications myself. I just don’t have them done by professional. I am a “do-it-yourselfer”. I will spare the details of my latest misadventure. (But I will say I now feel way too much sympathy for the plight of hamburger on a grill.) I realize than I am going to have somehow make life easier along with better preparation for myself and find a way to date a nurse. I need to find a way to kill “two birds with one stone“. Also I want to know how it feels to have hands on universal personal care for once. I would like better customer service. I am such a dreamer.

So the preceding was the outline to the thought process for another idea to this posting.

There is another thing that is held up as an example of our life on this planet being in peril. But I think that example when you get into it is just a manifestation of an emotional state. (That last sentence makes me sound like I am smoking a bit of the “Freud” here.) And that thing is oil. Oil can be translated as the physical representation for love. They say love makes the world go round. Try filling the car’s tank with love and see how far you make it around the world. Oil like love never seems to be in enough supply that is readily available when you want it. Desperate when you need it. One group tells you there is more to be tapped into underground. The other says you better use it with caution because it is all about to go away. Love like oil never seems to be priced just right. People want it for free. But people are trying to get it for free. They think they know the whole truth about it. And want to develop alternative sources for obtaining it. Oil is never used efficiently. Any device that uses it frequently breaks down and needs costly repairs. This is why a good mechanic can make as much money as a therapist. And both require insurance and vast amounts of paperwork to acquire ownership of it. Everyone who tries to control seems like they have no soul. People even start big fights even war over love too. Ask Helen of Troy and anyone in the midst of divorce. It is a really messy cleanup when you do not use it the proper way. However, that may have been the goal. No matter what it will always get people to act and over react.

Everyone wants love. Deep down it is all just a scheme to market and exchange of some fluids. Getting service with a smile.

I heard someone say, “It all comes down to mathematics to solve life’s questions and equations.”

The reality is for most of us it is a haphazard attempt in “hydraulics” with the possible help of Barry White.

The future is not about plastics. It is in lubrication. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. Just have to find someone listening for the squeak. And also has the grease.

I DO NOT ENDORSE THE PRODUCT IN THIS CLIP. It is just a metaphor for a bigger idea in this post.

I reference that clip to emphasize that beneath it all there is a thin layer of bullshit to it All of the news outlets have experts on and do not have any real debate with them for the most part. The questions are set ups for them to spew their “facts”. It is more of a sales pitch for whatever book or DVD they are shilling. It is kind of like this scene from Good Will Hunting.

The problem with so called experts is that they give off the sense that their knowledge came solely from “Divine Intervention”. And so you had better not questioned the “Divine” a.k.a. “Them”. They do not want to let you know that like everyone else it was rounds of “trial and error” that lead to success. No one ever hears about testing trials of WD 1 through 39. Or the poor bastard who had to test Preparation A through G.

Here are three people I have been listening to over the past week. It is their stories that have influenced the framing for this post.

1. Mike Birbiglia’s story of his awkwardness in trying to get his first kiss as a young boy. It was told in an episode of This American Life . (Go to about 9:35 mark for the start of his story.)
   
2. Henry Rollin’s misadventures in traveling as told in the story, Eric the Pilot Also his story called, “The Undoing of a Man” which is on the CD Live at the Westbeth Theater. It is a story about his lacking any real idea about domestic living in the house he had just purchased. (Sorry no direct links available)
   
3. Kevin Smith’s handling of criticism.
   

    

I do like going hiking through the woods. I also like trying to learn new things from time to time too. And right now it is geocaching. Yes, I am using billion of dollars in satellite technology to find Tupperware bowls hidden in the woods. I recently got hold of a GPS unit and it came without the instruction manual. This is a metaphor to my life’s existence. There have been so many things in my life that I have had to figure out on my own. “Being lost in the woods” is nothing new to me. Plus I am also a typical genetically wired male and the last thing I want is to be caught looking at an instruction manual. So I am trying through “trial and error” with this GPS unit to figure out how it really works. The results at this point have been clumsy at best. There is a part of me that wishes someone would rip the unit out of my hands and show me how to properly use it. This notion applies to other aspects of my life too. But patient, reassuring teachers with a good sense of humor are few and far between. (I really wish someone else would make the sandwich for once.) I also realized another thing while I have been stumbling through the woods with a GPS unit. That is. I am not as prepared as I think I am. I have done geocaching before with others and did have success finding caches. (But I am going to spare the details of the “Jeep Incident”. I will say just say when going offroading that needs an outboard motor and ends up needing a tow truck with a long winch there is a problem. And contrary to the opinion of those who witnessed the “Incident”. It was not my fault!) I have gone out on my own twice so far. I downloaded the right coordinates. I studied the maps. And so far my score is 0-2. I searched and searched with no luck. And I thought each cache had been lost and posted that to the website. I thought the owners of the caches may want to check them out. Here is the rough part for me. Right after I had posted my lack of finding. Others posted they had indeed found the cache. Here is the kicker. They had found them on the same day I was looking for them. The lesson is that I cannot seem to find things on my own. And this has broader implications on my life.

I know I am into many esoteric things. I will always be for the most part too. The problem will always exist with this lifestyle is that the “allies” will be few but the “enemies” will be in mass. This is the scorecard I am playing with and against. I came up with this analogy of my single/singular life. Alone and going about in a public setting, I will for the most part always be seen as someone who is “wearing a hockey mask”. The lone man will always be seen as something to fear. People will always be trying to figure out if I match the latest release of the police sketch artist’s rendering. And they are at the ready at the first sign of trouble to hit the Emergency Alert System. It can be awkward for me on my own at public settings. My people watching habits tend to come off as a bit creepy. It makes me seem like a potential stalker. With today’s gas prices I am not about to take that up as a hobby. And besides I do not have the time to dig a pit in my basement. But I do have a bucket of lotion. But the lambs are never quiet.

It is hard to find people to do things with. Most of my friends are now married with children. (The worse of STD’s) And this has changed their openness to new things. They are always locked into Alpha male status mode. They need to protect their clan no matter what. Nothing unknown can get through their perimeter. In order for it to get past the defenses and allowed in, it first must get the “dog treatment”. It must be thoroughly sniffed out and then pissed on before it can be allowed to stay within their territory. And everything being done must have a defined purpose to it. Otherwise, it is just nonsense and therefore a waste of time. The idea of any type “experimenting” triggers their parental alarms. They need a Kid’s Menu option ready at all times. I cannot say it is a bad thing. It is just their nature now. And like so many relations they only seem to coexist to degree with Holiday events on the calendar. What does this all mean for me? I need to make adjustments to the parameters of my social being.

Heckle needs a Jeckle.

	Metric – Gold Guns Girls .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

A sudden urge results when a situation develops around you. However, at the same moment you are not prepared with the right tools to handle the urge. You know. A good looking woman. The stun gun holster is empty. Catch a chipmunk. Duct tape is empty. Have to blow Chunks. The dog, Chunks is back at home. The Swedish Bikini Team lands in your campsite. And you are in the midst of re-enacting a scene from Deliverance. If they would have radioed ahead you may have just waited. You get the point. It is frustrating to find yourself in a situation you can’t resolve they want you would’ve wanted. You can only imagine how the moment would’ve played out had you been in deed prepared. In your mind, you would have executed your game plan with perfection.

An urge can have a positive (Aaaah!) or a negative (Ugggh!) result. It all depends on what you want to achieve. It also depends on whether you are overcoming a challenge or to have an excuse to explain. This experiment can be observed in a bar on any given night.

Now on the specifics of what influenced this post. The other day, on lunch break I had to run a few errands. I needed to also get lunch during this time. So I stopped at Sub shop chain that is found about every half mile. It was about 12:30PM. As the woman behind the counter was making my sub. A loud mouth and soon to be revealed idiot walked in. And wanted to know why the breakfast menu option was no longer available. He could not accept the explanation and became ridiculously argumentative. I was on the clock per say and this idiot made it way too far in life not to know what fucking time it was. I had to make a quick stop at a drug store after work that day too. One item. In and out. At most a two minute mission. Little did I know? I was about to be proven overly optimistic with my game plan. The drug store’s name states “Right and Helpful”. So I grabbed the item needed. There was a man at the counter ahead of me. He had quite an amount of items he was purchasing. The cashier totaled and bagged the items. She gave him his total due. And he just stood there doing nothing. Then he told the cashier he was waiting for his wife who was still shopping and she had the money. I stood there and just gave him an “evil stare”. And yet he felt no shame what so ever. A few minutes later, the wife came to the counter. She had a fully loaded cart and a bunch of issues with that week’s sales flyer. I just stared at them. And still no sense of shame from them. The problem with trying to use Jedi Mind Tricks on idiots is you need to have a brain to be able to target on. People like them and the other guy should only go out in public if they are wearing helmets. Because people like them give me an urge. And one of these days, I may just be prepared by carrying a baseball bat. I would then be able to play the Human version of the “Whack-a-Mole” game. For once I want to feel amused for having to be around people like this. Plus, “I’ve got mad hits like Rod Carew.”

However, our society for the most part cannot act on its sudden urges for the most part. Society for the most part would completely fall apart. Even worse than how it appears on the evening news. Can you imagine everyone taking turns on the Maury Povich Show waiting for the DNA test results?

They are going to be bringing back the cartoon, Beavis and Butthead. This may make some people think that society is going down hard for the count. I think we need stupid characters to point out the greater stupidity of it all. And hopefully, have a laugh or two from their observations.

It has to start somewhere.

Someone needs to bring back the fun. Someone needs to bring the “Weee” back into this WeeeTarded world.

I really wish I could afford the stereotypical male midlife crisis. A stripper half my age. And a sports car to compensate for what I am not physically endowed with. Maybe this is a good thing that I am not able to do it. Who wants to be sad cliché?

The sands of time are beginning to act like sand at the beach. And not in a good way. It is more like when the sand gets in your shorts and starts to chafe your crotch. Irritating. And you cannot deal with it in a public setting. Acknowledging it in public can really be embarrassing.

The Sands of time are starting to show me what it is and what it was. Sometimes the line between the two can be very blurry. (Maybe I need to have my eyes checked out. It is not easy to determine what to hold on to and what to let go of. The answer is not always going to be the one I want. Bob Dylan was wrong. The answer is not always “blowing in the wind.”

Watch this video from comedian Greg Behrendt. His realization is part of the influence on the next part in this posting.

Time is catching up to me. I am about to hit an age in which I will become “Officially Uncool”. And I did it without becoming married and with children that usually mark that status achievement. I am leaving the age range that is most desired by advertisers. No more cool shit marketed to me. Except for the “magic blue pills”. And I am sure if I will need them because I have never let myself down. Sad but true. Wait! I did once. It was the result of an expensive bottle of bourbon. If you are going to disappoint yourself go for quality. Don’t slum it.

I had a moment recently where I had the revelation of my age. I had a new tenant move in this month. She is in her 20′s. She had some friends helping her with the move in. Amongst them were two guys also in their 20′s. One had a tattoo form the punk rock Black Flag. A band that broke up in 1986. the year this guy was probably born in. I was thinking how a band he never directly experienced could be something he would want to immortalize on his body. He should have a band from his generation. The other guy had a Descendants t-shirt on and it was for an album I have. I wanted to call to their attention that I am too a fan of that music. I still listen to that music. Listen up. Tell me! I’m still cool! Right? Then I realized when I was a teen I wore a Led Zeppelin t-shirt. A band I never directly experienced either. And I have most of their albums. In the end, I kept my mouth shut. I wanted someone else to at least acknowledge that somehow I was and still am relevant. I am still capable of being “cool”. However, in that moment I watched my “coolness” and a bit of my dignity slip away from me. And they both had the fingernail claw marks ripped into them as I had tried to desperately hold on to them.

I am too old for this shit. Almost.

Future possible posting: My Murtaugh List

No matter what I am still going out “rocking”.

Bonus clip from Greg Behrendt

This posting is an exercise in trying to write something. Anything.

It is also an attempt to keep things in motion because when things slow down and stop that is when the trouble begins.

I have heard this too often from many different and unrelated people. My voice sounds like that of a person being pulled in hundreds of different directions.

I read the book Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk while ago and lately the tone of the book has been in my psyche. This is a book you should avoid if you have (particularly in this case) a weak stomach. But if you like to challenge yourself through reading something out of the ordinary then you should give this one a chance.

It is the story of a bunch of people who attend a writer’s workshop and are forced to tell their own story. And their stories are of heartbreak, lost and the defects of their own character. They are disturbing and at the same time compelling too.

 The thought process of my mind always seeks out sources of information (any source and any format) as an attempt to connect in odd way with the world at large. Look! My mind did not come with any set of operating instructions. At times it even baffles the Big Guy. I am always finding new sources of knowledge to put into my brain. I am trying to figure out if my current circumstances or my past experiences have some place of context in this world. For example (not really), there is one that I cannot go into detail because it is not completely my own to tell. And besides I was also told to shut up about it too. But I am trying to come to terms with it and it is implications. I need something out there to compare and contrast it with. Luckily, I have been listening a lot lately to comedian Doug Stanhope and his tale of “Bobbie Barnett”. (WARNING: Do not play this at work or with the kids around). It should also be noted that in times of stress I seek out humor. The more “twisted and odd” that it is the better.

I heard this from Dan Kennedy in his performance at The Moth. “My therapist told me, ‘When you go forward you will be intuitively able to handle what used to baffle you.”

I am just going to try to keep moving forward. But I have to admit. I am beginning to tire of feeling like I am constantly being “run over”.

And finally, maybe the past like the future is something we will never fully grasp.

	Johnny Thunders – You Can’t Put Your Arms Around A Memory .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

1. I have said this before and I am beginning to realize that the mentality is spreading. There is more and more information available to anyone. And it is not hard to access. But I think people want to be dictated to rather than discover things for themselves.
   
2. The Uncle John Bathroom Readers are great source of knowledge that will be only useful in irrelevant trivia games. And they .help pass time on the dumper.
   
3. Desire to try Squirrel Fishing.
   
4. “The Dilbert Principle” by Scott Adams. He states that they only true source of renewable energy is stupidity. And when we learn to harvest it then the energy crisis will be over with.
   

A few weeks ago, I went to watch someone get a tattoo. I want it known that I HATE needles. Needles are what stopped from having a heroin habit. So it was a big thing for me to see there while someone had needles applied to him with the same sound as a dentist’s drill. It was amazing I did not pass out or run out of the place. I just do not understand why you would want to have a tattoo to begin with. However, I am not going to stop anyone from doing it. But I do believe you should provide a mental exam on what you want and where you want it on your body. It is just not for me. I am moody enough and I could never settle on a design to be permanently on my body. I also had another revelation about the meaning behind tattoos. And this is what I realized. I have never had a person or event in my life that I would want immortalized as part of my body. And if I did. I still will NOT get a tattoo.

I have read several times Chuck Palahniuk’s collection of stories Stranger than Fiction. Some examples were the story of small town that has a demolition derby with combines, people who built their own castles and the author running around town dressed in a dog costume. The major premise about the book is it is about people who are trying to connect to the world through what is perceived to be “strange ways”.

I have also have found myself lately being fascinated more and more by the psychology (or lack of) in sports. I just read Sports from Hell by Rick Reilly. In the book, he follows and sometimes participates in what many would consider just plain stupid. Examples from this book include chess boxing, ferret legging, jarts, drinking games and baseball. The part that I found was that people who take part in these events are happy about it. They have a chance to compete in something and experience the thrill of being cheered on by others. These sports also had a history behind them. It was there but many of the people could not quote specific reference about them.

Strange ideas (or in this case sports) had to start somewhere. Someone came up with an idea and was able to sell the idea to others. And sell it to point where they were willing to get up off their ass and actually do it. In the book, Brain Droppings by the late George Carlin called this guy the “Primitive Sergeant”. In early days of man, he had to come up ideas and sell them to the tribe. He had no research to back up the idea but he had to make it sound good. What did he come up with in order to assure a good corn crop? Virgin sacrifices. Talk about a “leap of logic”. Virgins do not get a good reputation in 80′s teen movies and most religions. Many religions proclaim virgins as being of “purity” However, they end up being the first ones sacrificed or beholden to lunatics. If virgins want to survive just a little longer in this life the message is “get it done” and the sooner the better. But then again when it comes to sexuality and religion there will always be trouble. Especially if a naked woman is involved. And it started with Adam and Eve. Adam provided the first documented case of a “man acting like an idiot”. I know. He did not have to “bite the apple”. That was not the problem. The problem was he actually listened and believed Eve when she implied “Don’t worry about it”. AND he was SOBER. But then again she was probably also shaking her breasts in Adam’s face as she was convincing him to take that bite. Logic and entertainment have always been in conflict since day one. And the reward was being kicked out of the Garden of Eden. Adam then had to think about the future. He needed to find food and shelter. He also needed to make sure the next time there was trouble with Eve that he needed to have excuse for his behavior. And finding alcohol was added to the list. This is also why men became genetically wired not to listen to women. Finally, MILF porn is another example of “purity” vs. “actuality”.

Remember someone hundreds of years ago sold the idea of the “Baby Drop” as being a practical health option for the children.

There is a very thin line between what you view as being fun. And what others might consider a sure sign of mental illness. How it is received all depends on the proximity of a lawyer, an insurance agent or your Mom. Mark Twain said, “Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits.” Nothing drives people into a sense of “righteous crazy” then the actions of others. The problem is most of time these two groups will NEVER be in the same room together. I remember what a reviewer said about one of the Jackass movies. He said it was not his type of fun. But he found it was a good documentary about a group of guys who were willing to come with stupid stunts. And they were even more willing to actually perform the stunts. This movie celebrated their unique bond with each other and it should be viewed within that context. I have to agree. And to be honest, the movies made me cringe and laugh at the same time. This is a relief compared to listening to politicians who when I watch them just make me cringe. These are the ones who truly deserve the protest. The Jackass guys are willing to stand behind their words and stunts. Politicians spend too much time back tracking on what they have said. Saying they were taking out of context. MEMO to all politicians. Thanks to the Internet we now all have a copy of what you said and we will play it back to you. MEMO to all parents. Which group is more honest of these two groups? Which one that deep down you think your kids should be watching? But then again I do not have to live with either one of these groups. So my judgment should be the final call here. But I am making suggestion. They are not on my insurance policy.

There used to be a tradition for first time campers when they are young. However, today it is considered hazing and can wreck a young child’s esteem. It is called the Snipe Hunt. It is where you make some believe there is a stupid and elusive bird that needs to be hunted down. There is an important lesson to be learned from this exercise. You need to know how to detect when someone is bullshitting you. Even Frasier on Cheers came to this revelation.

It comes down to it at the end. There is a difference between “stupid” and “ignorance”. It is called a laugh track.

	thick brick .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

But I did find a reason for becoming a parent.

As Forrest Gump noted, “Stupid is as stupid does.” So I follow you Dad.

Why can’t I hear the laugh track?

There has been a lot of yelling and screaming about illegal aliens coming to this country. Even Stephen Hawking chimed in on the matter. He stated that if aliens from another planet (the ones that are lot farther away than Mexico) came to Earth there would be a lot of problems. People would lose their shit on a level never seen on this planet. Not even on the Jerry Springer Show or political protest rally. Aliens would bring us even more problems such as violence and diseases. So this means the aliens are also watching CNN or Fox News. And they are thinking “Hey! That sounds like a place we would easily fit right into.” But we should listen to the warnings. And most likely we won’t. But we should take the time to listen even though Stephen Hawking’s “Speak and Spell” voice can be a bit creepy to listen too. However, it maybe the right sounding voice for this matter. Remember, E.T. hotwired a Speak and Spell to allow, “E.T. phone home.” I guess the Professor may have a better cell phone plan to call out of his network to reach the alien worlds. Hey, this Professor is better than the other one and his coconut radio. And that professor would be totally useless trying to fix the hole in the ship for space travel. Don’t call yourself a genius if fixing a hole is engineering beyond your abilities.

I am a member of generation that was raised on repeated viewing of Star Wars movies and weekly episodes of various incarnations of Star Trek. We have the idea that traveling through space could actually be a fun adventure. You can’t defeat the “Evil Galactic Empire” sitting on your own home planet. We also want to be having philosophical discussions of the role man vs. the “Prime Directive.”

My generation was also repeated watched the Sylvester Stallone‘s Rocky and Rambo movie series. (But we will not admit to it. But secretly when no one is watching we want to run the steps in Philly). So our mind have access to variety of images and speeches to rally us when the “odds are against us”. We have this deeply vague notion in the back of our psyche that we can machine gun our way through 12 rounds to achieve victory. So, BRING IT ON!

But we also live in a time where the culture is to sue over every minor injury. “You can’t cry over spilled milk.” But that never stopped a lawyer from filing suit. “Crying over hot coffee spilled in your lap after you distracted drove into a pothole” makes you able to have a payout from the McDonald’s corporation.

We talk a good game. Walking the line is something else all together. But like foreign policy. It does not stop us from acting out. We saw Aliens. We are cheering for a fight.

(The following is another example of how I failed to grasp my Catholic education. I cannot directly quote Scripture. But I can repeat quotes from Star Wars)

In the moment of challenge, remember the wisdom of Yoda. “Do or Do not. There is no try”

(Catholic education needs to invest in puppets and better special effects. It is just a suggestion. But you really need to capture an audience’s attention. Wait! That sounds like the premise behind a cult.)

The problem now it is become more about the rhetoric than the substance. It used to be that political arguments would flare up from time to time. Today, with the 24 hour news cycle the arguing is relentless. It just keeps grinding away at you. It is all politics as usual. I wish there could be time when politics would be useful. I mean at least useful to masses. I do not know why we would want to surrender all aspects of our life to be dictated by a political class. This class includes both sides. They are both the same when it comes down to it. They just are pandering to small group that throws them a shit load of money. At this point, maybe all elections should be run by E-Bay. And all debates will be on the Game Show Network. Just remember you get what paid for. But you cannot fix stupid. WARNING: Buyer Beware!

I also hate that all sides are yelling about who is and is not “politically correct”. Politics has become an exercise about blaming it all on the other side. And not accepting you may have had a role in things not going so good. Enough already. Talk like a real person. Using “your group speak” is just so shallow. Stop the rhetoric and get to your message. This is why debates need to have a shot clock.

Albert Einstein said, “The answer is ‘yes’ or ‘no’ depending on the interpretation”. The same idea applies to people too. There have been reports how Goldman Sachs played all sides of the financial markets. The dilemma of our lives (and it always has been) is that the action of others does have some type of impact on our lives. We are always “betting” on the outcome of the efforts of others. I listen to people bitching about the results of a sports game. They mention all of these stats about all these various details of an athlete’s skills. It is all stats. What is the difference between the stats on the back of a baseball card and mutual fund outlook report? We are all looking at pages of numbers about anything. And we are praying we picked the right one. Experts are just better guessers. In other words, they have a bit more luck than the next guy. The line between skill and luck is a “razor’s edge”. And we argue that “edge” in lawsuits complaining about the outcome.

Mark Twain said, “The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.” But to add to it so are their actions. This idea is what is behind everyone screaming that there needs to be more laws and regulations to control the actions of others. We have been passing laws since the “dawn of time”. And what has history taught us. People as a whole are pretty much “rude and crude” to one another. I want someone to find a time when people were “civil” towards one another anywhere on this planet for any long amounts of time. Courteous behavior is at most a brief momentary action. You hold the door for one person and slam it on the next. The technological and scientific knowledge base for the human race has increased tremendously in the last 100 years. But the emotional intelligence has pretty much stayed on the same flat line it has always been on.

Watch the Example.

For the most part. Men find it funny. Women are grossed out by it. This is how we are wired. And no ruling can change it. The Song will always remain the same.

It just is not easy dealing with other people. (Especially during commutes to work. Everyone else is driving like they are hardwired morons.) I have a chance to think about what is going through a person’s mind. You are probably going to job to that you may not necessarily enjoy. However, your economical survival depends on it. Surviving life is not the same as living life. Your job whether you like it or not does provide a sense of your identity. Your paycheck does more to define you at times. It does not always “affirm” you as a person. If your hopes and dreams were relevant at the moment then you would be collecting a paycheck on them. It is what is hanging on your wall (awards,degrees,etc.) is what people take notice of. It is easier, to take a quick look on a wall and learn about a person. Take the time to inquiry about the experiences that have shaped a person’s life. (There is a major difference between what a person knows and what a person does.) It is riskier to engage a person directly, especially without proper background checks and personal protection. This is part of the reason why Facebook is popular.

In the end, life is just a “crap shot” when it comes to dealing with people. So be prepared. Carry toilet paper.

It can be a bit weird dealing with people.

Make a woman laugh. And the next thing you are getting the promise of an employment opportunity. Maybe the notion of a “free market economy” is really a more effective model. But I still have the feeling Allen Funt is going to back from beyond the grave to say, “Surprise! You’re on Candid Camera.” Or an appearance on Jackass.

What does it mean?

I need to clean up my resume. I need to use better adjectives. You may call it “lying”. I call it be “colorful”. Like a box of crayons.

It might not be the Season. But the following idea is related to that Season.

In the end, it is all about managing the great divide between expectations and results. This is the real lesson that comes from gifts found under the Christmas tree. Sadly, the packaging and wrapping can be very deceptive. For those you who do not like what I just said and believe the Christmas is about “Peace”. There is no way the powers that be on Madison Ave. or the television networks are going to let that happen anytime soon. Since I have already caused trouble then let me continue on. The Three Kings were the first example of a welfare system at work. And everyone from there on out thought their kid was special.

I must be channeling the spirit of Groucho Marx who stated, “I hardly know where to begin. I hardly know when to stop, either; just give me a few drinks and see for yourself.”

	Pink Floyd – Brain Damage – Eclipse .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

The problem really is that anyone who wants to take charge of government on any level is really admitting that they have a “screw loose”.

In today’s online world, forwarded e-mails now have more power to destroy you than anything that is written on your “permanent record”. The “permanent record” threat we all heard in school was really our first introduction to premise of an “urban legend myth”. Maybe my mom was right about the horrors of the Internet. But she refuses to get online because the “Internet is just a passing fad”. So I hate to admit that I may have to call her judgment on this one to be suspicious. However, it is a good thing for two reasons. I would have to become technical support for her. And if she ever saw what I am posting on the Evil Internet then I would be in even more trouble. My thought process (aka my humor and insight) is a very recessive gene I found in my family’s genetic DNA pool. It does have calling to it. “BAH BAH Black Sheep.”

The dilemma of our mass communication is that it has become a prime example of “supply and demand”. The result is that talk has become cheap. Not entirely though. Especially if it involves an unseen female on the other end who is willing to accept an exaggerated claim of one’s own personal dimensions. Who is really fooling who? At least with an honest unseen face.

I want to make a proclamation about the use of terms in a society with free speech balanced against lawyer fees. I want people to think about the things they reference. However, there are two things people throw out there too easily. These things are not being used to inform. They are used to inflame. So please stop using references to Hitler and 9/11. I want to make a disclaimer. I am not equating the two as being directly linked. One was an asshole and the other was a tragic event. Too many people on all sides throw these two terms about. I have seen the last five US Presidents compared to Hitler in some way. JUST STOP! These references will always be too emotional. And using them regardless of the intention can be very toxic.

I have been thinking about the First Amendment and free speech as a whole. It also reminded me about how I first came to issue of free speech and its effect on my life back in the mid 1980′s. There were a lot of groups attacking the music I was listening to. And they wanted to tell me what I should be listening to. I think this planted the idea in my head of how does some politician get the right or power to set the station on my stereo. The most famous group was the Parental Music Resource Center. It starts when tipper gore trying to be the cool parent buys her kid a Prince album. And was shocked to find out Prince was a horny guy and said so in his lyrics. She was outraged and made sure other people had to be outraged. There were Congressional hearings. And this was the first time I saw that politics was more theater than substance. This was the first time I became aware of a musician named Frank Zappa. I was not aware of his music at the time but he stood up and defended the music I was listening to. Here is the transcript of the hearing. And it can be viewed on line.

	Frank Zappa Who are the Brain Police .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

I know people went crazy when Scrabble announced they have changed the rules of the game. I check to make sure but Revelations did mention this event as a sign.

The First Amendment says, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

I do not want to eliminate it what so ever. Like the game of Scrabble I think this Amendment needs some additional clauses.

1. If you can take the time to speak to others. Then show some courtesy and take the same amount of time to listen.
   
2. He who shouts the loudest is not necessarily the winner to claim what is ultimately right. The Amendment does not a volume setting. In fact, the only time volume is really important is at a Motorhead or Slayer concert.
   
3. Talk is cheap. This means that how much money you made on what you are saying is irrelevant. Your sales sheet just means you may have been able to con people.
   
4. With all the major technology upgrades available you have no excuse for not changing the channel when you come across something you do not like. You are not living in a Clockwork Orange scenario.
   
5. I know we live in a time where news is more of tabloid outlet. I do not care about celebrities personal lives. I only care if they put out something I enjoy. I do not care what they do in the privacy of their home (as long as it is not illegal).
   
6. If you look over someone’s shoulder and you do not like what you see. The problem is on you. You cannot control the thoughts of others.
   
7. You have no right to NOT be offended. Once again, you control your response. Change the station or walk away.
   

    

   I heard this once in an interview. It comes from the actor Wendell Pierce speaking about his show The Wire. (A show you should take the time to watch if you want your preconceived notions of urban crime and justice challenged.)
   

   “…I also tell people who have issues with the show. And have issues with the white creators trying to tell predominately black stories. That you never lose your ability to be offended. Because that keeps people feet to the fire. That keeps people on their toes…”
   

The real power and the challenge of the Amendment (and probably the Constitution as a whole) is that it was never meant for passive people. It requires passion. it requires involvement.

I have also been listening to George Carlin’s 1990 album Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics.

There were two ideas in the album that are still very true.

If you want to control thought than you have to control language. (Rating systems and speech codes)

Anything is funny. But it depends how you construct the joke. His example: rape. Imagine Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd. Admit it. You at least had a chuckle.

People say they want this world to be pure. But look at what we are really watching and listening too.

The only time we really want and even demand a sterile and clean environment is in a hospitable emergency room. And yet they still serve that food.

There is a 1001 ways to cry about life on this planet. And no one seems to real do something about. However, if you find that one way to laugh about it. That is where the trouble begins. Someone is going to have a problem.

Like the Bill of Rights.

The game starts on first base. And so did every problem I have ever had with women.

It is all in the coaching.