I know I have written a few posts (maybe too many) about my own short comings on staying focused when it comes to writing. It is also a by-product of my circumstances. I am attempting to do something that no one in my immediate circle is attempting to do. Or even understands. So I guess I just throw that feeling out into the vast span of the Internet in hopes someday some bits of communication may come back someday. Call this my own personal SETI experiment. And I am going to leave it at this for now.

I keep a copy of the book Zen and the Art of Writing by Ray Bradbury in my backpack. Everyone needs a coach to refer from time to time. It is hard to always have some on hand. So it nice to be able to refer to someone. The first essay in the book titled the “The Joy of Writing” he tells about how he finds joy in what others don’t understand. He states how he can’t worry about that because he feels compelled to write about it.

An Internet search engine is another way to find material to help me.

I stumbled upon this article that sums up Ray Bradbury’s tips for writing.

How to Feed Your Muse: 7 Writing Tips From Ray Bradbury

I needed to post something. The last week and half I have been in the grasp of the very powerful “YouTube/NetFlix/Movieclips.com” Worm Hole. So I need get back to the writing.

I am also a bit frustrated by my mail box. I am getting more junk in the e-mail box than ever before. My postal box is filled with crap too. I would love to meet the losers who think their job of actually creating this shit is actually bringing about a better world. Especially the ones who bombard this page. Any response that includes only the phrases “Nice post” or “I found this interesting” and their URL goes back to site just peddling BS is deleted.

HERE IS A TIP. If your product or service has real value then I will find you.

And the telephone has been much better. The people I need to return the calls don’t. And ones I rather not deal with seem to always get through. I rather ignore those but the reality is I have to deal with them. I did notice the more phone numbers and e-mail accounts one has the harder it is to get a hold of them. Modern day with its vast array of communication methods doesn’t seem to be bringing about any more information than in the past.

In the YouTube wormhole. I found this clip from the movie Where the Buffalo Roam. It is the movie where Bill Murray plays the legendary writer Hunter S. Thompson. This is the opening scene of the movie. It is kind of extreme example of writer who even when he is alone he has to deal with a lot of “disruptions”. Some of them are external and the others are self made. Why is necessary for “Creativity” and “Chaos” to exist within the same moment?

There are days in which I wish I had enough money to shoot my computer. And there are days, in which I had my superpower that would enable to reach through the phone and smack the person on the other end. Oh! To Dream.

I needed to clear this off the idea notepad.

More to come. Soon.

I think the hardest think I have to constantly remind myself about is that there is never the perfect time to do anything. Any moment offers an unforeseen challenge. But why in my case does it always involve a trip to a home improvement store to get what I need to fix something? “Home improvement”. There is an oxymoron. Maybe it should be called a “home triage” store.

It is just another form of Writer’s Block in my case.

I was watching the movie Orange County. It was an entertaining movie for what it was. The premise of the movie is a young man played by Colin Hanks decides after the death of friend to change his life. He finds a book on the beach and decides he too wants to be a writer. He figures he needs to go to Stanford to get his degree. The author of the book happens to also be a professor at that college. However, he comes from a family that is dysfunctional and just cannot seem to provide the support that he needs. And this is what leads to the comedy aspect of the movie. It seems to me that this movie could be semi-biographical in my case. Without the comedy.

There is this one scene that stuck with me. Spoiler Alert. The Colin Hanks character does get a chance to meet the professor who made him want to be a writer. Kevin Kline plays that professor.

 

I guess when you try rewiring your brain in order to be a better writer can be tricky. If not borderline aggravating. I am constantly looking at how things are. How they might be underneath. I am trying to draw links between ideas that may not exactly appear to be connected at all. Then put the idea out there in hopes that it may cause a conversation to happen. I am sure that all of my ideas may not be validated by another person. I do not care if the reader agrees 100% with what I am trying to put forth. I would even be willing to someone who is willing to put forth how I may be wrong. I just welcome the chance to engage in a conversation.  Responses such as “That’s nice.” “Interesting.” “Good point” are not enough to really spark conversation. Most of the time those type of responses mean the person really did not read into the posting. The “Curse” here the need to get feedback and at the same time not always believing in it when it comes. It is hard to get the right audience needed. But it would be hard to realize it when that audience is really there. It is really hard trying to determine who the audience is by dissecting web stat charts. It is almost an extremely masochistic act. But I cannot help it.

Lately, I have drawn to other works that tell the story of people who are trying to deal with the circumstances in which they live. I just finished watching the first season on the HBO show Treme. The latest TV show from creator David Simon. He does for the city of New Orleans what he did for the city of Baltimore in The Wire.

This show starts 3 months after Hurricane Katrina and focuses on various people trying to rebuild their lives under those circumstances. I remember watching Katrina on TV at the time. I compared it to watching a modern day reenactment of a modern day Pompeii. We were watching a modern city being wiped off the map. I questioned if it was worth the cost of rebuilding. I think this thought process is a side effect of our vast sources of media. We get to “see” a lot of what is happening around the world at any given moment. The problem is we thinking “seeing” equates to “experiencing it”. This is why we also are hearing more and more from people in those dire circumstances are screaming louder ,”Unless you are here. You don’t know a thing!” Treme may not give us that direct experience. Great storytelling along with well defined yet complicated characters gives you a chance to pause and think. It draws you in. There was a lot about the culture of New Orleans that I have learned from this show. Just watch The Weather Channel every area of this country has its own issues. Extreme weather hits everyone. We have all watched the weather and have wondered to ourselves, “Why would anyone want to live there?” This series explores the reason of “Why”. It also has nice soundtrack of music from the city to listen along with.

Bad economic news is the never ending story. I have been hearing all my life. I have heard “We need to learn how to do more with less”. I have never seen this policy ever enacted on a grand scale across society as a whole. Just take a walk down any aisle in any store. Think back about a decade. And then realize. We have more things available to us than ever before. What I think the message should be steered towards is that of “We need to increase the efficient use of what we have.” However, the economic bad news has had the same effect as a bad weather storm. It has lead to many cities struggling to exist. Once again outsiders proclaim, “Given those circumstances. Why would anyone want to live there?” I came across this story a couple of weeks ago. The city of Grand Rapids, Michigan was listed as one of the most “in decline” cities in America. The people there started a grassroots effort to change their image. They got together to set a record for the “longest lip synched one take music video”. They did it with the song “American Pie” by Don McLean. Watch the video. It contains no edits. It is just one camera filming the action for the length of the song.

 

I think the song “American Pie” will always be part of the American Experience for years to come. It is a song about the belief in a dream. However, that dream is danger of falling apart in the current environment. However, in the end even with all of the uncertainty still at hand the dream persists. I think this song with return to some level of popularity in times of distressed economics. Along with uncertainty that seems to be heightened when the leaders involved seem to arguing more about ideology and trying to assign blame to the opposition. I just came up with another crazy idea. In the future, anyone running for office should have to act ONLY like a mime. That way they would be forced to perform action rather than just standing there talking on and on. It would be a nice change. Also I want to study the effects of all this non-stop political talk on global warming. All that hot air has to have an effect on something. What that is? I have no idea.

Bad weather. Bad economics. Welcome to Buffalo. Where I live.

 

It is a city that has more to it then chicken wings and losing Super Bowls. It has a lot interesting people that are for the most part nice and friendly. Unfortunately, on a whole we cannot elect any leader capable of moving the city forward. It is a city that seems stuck on nostalgia for time that is not coming back. It needs to redefined and adapt for a future. I hate hearing people complaining that it should be more like a big city (like NYC). It will never be that either. It needs to come to terms with who it is. It needs to take a lesson from what it takes to climb a mountain. You can see the top from down below. You see where you need to go to. However, you need to start at the bottom to go up. Everyone seems to take more time studying the top when they should take as much time studying the base where you start. The base is where the resources and support exist.

“Why would anyone live there?”

My relationship with this place and the people in it has changed over the years. Nostalgia can be a powerful feeling. However, the future has changed that nostalgia before it has even arrived. The hard part is coming to the realization that not everything grows together. Or at all. My needs and what is available on hand at that moment will most likely never be in total synch. Is it good? Is it bad? Or just what it is meant to be? Either way that may end up.

In a story, good character conflict can work towards a good story. Someday.

Besides, I have to start somewhere.

I do not think many people take the time to see how things they do in life are related to each other. I think most people compartmentalize many aspects of their own lives. However, it is problem an instinct of survival needed in today’s age. You can be in a lot of trouble if your profile does not match up to the corporate mandate. The 40 hour work week seems to rule the land. Imagine 25% of your week commands the other 75% of your life. It is any wonder why things do not seem to add up in our lives. I am not about to offer any real solution to that equation. Besides I am terrible at math.

There is a part of my life that has existed for close to almost 25 years at this point. I have been a ropes course instructor (now director). It is one of those teambuilding courses where people climb towers and such. I am not going to say who it is for. It is not that I am embarrassed by it. I want to keep it separate from what I am doing here on this site. I know how I approach the material here. I am very aware of how I approach that other work needs a completely different “sensitivity”. If I used this site to bridge those two areas I am opening myself to risk “offending” someone who may be involved with ropes course side. It would not be my intention or even desire to “offend” in that case. It would also take away my intention from my writings here.

I have been thinking about how these two aspects of my life are related in a way. I know I am doing something unusual here. Writing and working on a ropes course are something 90% of all people would have no idea about.

I am going to try to point of the some type of relation.

Working on outdoor teambuilding course I heard once as being referred to as “counseling on the run”. Sometimes you can get a group working together in 3-4 activities and at other times 10 activities are not enough to do the job. You have to be able to look at how the pieces (in this case people) are working and at the same time trying to adjust to the environment at the moment. Everyone wants to see how the puzzle with appear at the end. They also want the guaranteed ending. It just does not work like that. As an instructor I am there to create a safe environment in which to have an experience. What the ultimate meaning of the experience is up to that individual person. There is no guarantee to an experience. In the end, it is what it is.

Operating like this will inevitably open you up to criticism. It is part of the game. This goes into the idea of criticism vs. critical thought. “A critic is a man who knows the way but can’t drive a car.” says Kenneth Tynan It is all about them. They usually show up after all is set and done. I also heard a critic referred to as a person “who has no skin in the game”. But I guess it would not be a party without a “noise maker”. However, people who bring critical thinking to the event are better for all involved. It is more about having a conversation where all involved have a chance to change their outlook or have reinforced. They also bring resources and knowledge to the event at hand.

This leads for me into writing. I have been going back to what I like to write (besides these blog postings) which is for film. I have been starting to watch scenes and break them down. It is back to the “DIY” model. I did go to school for film. However, it did have an official screenwriting program. I had to do it as an independent study course. I should have seen this sign back then. I am not going to write about my “art school” experience at this point in time. I will in the near future. I had to go and find some book that would serve as my textbook to follow. This was pre-Internet days so there was not much to go by. A teacher in the department recommended Screenplay by Syd Field who was considered the expert for the masses at the time. And this was where my knowledge base started. His book does explain format and the three act structure to film. I would learn later people get overly hung up on spacing and font size. His book did not say screenplays are written in Courier 12pt (which they are). And at that time, personal home computers and software were not priced to the point of being affordable. It is all still this day very much a “work in progress” when it comes to this format of writing for me. I also like the format when it comes to fiction because truth is I am a bit of a lazy writer. Example, I do not want to write 300 words or so describing the weather. I can show you the same idea within the shot.

I may be writing something different in format. However, that does not mean I am near being any type on an expert. I am trying to be more knowledgeable, proficient and efficient. I came across the book The Coffee Break Screenwriter by Pilar Alessandra. It is showing me how I can go about breaking down my screenwriting into more manageable pieces. She also has a podcast that I started listening to while I go about work. Another podcast I found is Creative Screenwriting so I can hear from the writers themselves about how they created their film. The only problem is I have to have seen it first because they give away a lot “spoilers”. I just need to keep balance between the times spent on finding resources vs. productive writing time.

The filmmaking process is in a way like “counseling on the run.” I do not know exactly what the final product will be like or the experience related to it. All I am doing is writing the framework in which we will be operating. All I can control in this process is the basis for the origins of my story and the first draft of the screenplay. After that I have to give up any idea that I will have total control of aspects of the final film. Everyone who gets involved in making it will bring different ideas and skills to the script. I just have to be able to see the environment at the moment and act accordingly. I also have to be able to filter through the ideas brought forth. I have to know what to fight for and what I have to surrender to. I also am very aware of how working in parameters like this can scare many people. Even the successful movies and TV series operate like this.

I remember years ago, I sat through a screening of a movie that was not that good. I will not say the title. The man behind making the film was also in the room for the screening. Afterwards, during the Q and A session it was a bit awkward. However, he started to laugh because he knew it was not that good of a movie either. He pointed out his mistakes like how he miscast the villain because he was the only actor willing to do the role at the time. There was a scene that ended abruptly. Because that is where he had spent his last budgeted filming dollar. He had no more money for film at this point. The rest of the budget was for editing. We all felt this would be a career ending film for him since it was not so good. In fact, he said it got him even more work. The reason was he was able to show that he knew the basic of how to go about putting a film together. The mistakes meant more than anything else here. This seems to go against modern society that seems bent on belaboring any mistakes a person makes. I guess it shows you have to know when to move with a project. He also said the movie at least broke even for the investors and after cable rights they made some money. In the end, he said that was the motivation for the investors. However, for him it was something to add to the resume.

This is what anyone who is the midst of trying to create a new experience needs to learn to take to heart and mind. Especially myself.

“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how
the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”

            -Theodore Roosevelt

I am beginning to hate winter. I have a feeling the TV stations constantly scrolling “warnings of impending doom” does help either. I hate driving in it. You would think in the Buffalo NY area everyone would be an expert driver. And every day I am proven quite wrong. I wish I could just “hole up” and just write every day. However, I am a homeowner and I have to be out there dealing with it so my tenants can get about their business. And nothing drains me like a long range winter forecast.

I have to also admit to be a little low on the creative side lately. Resolutions to do more seem to slam hard against reality. I try to maintain some level of thought to keep something at least on the “mental backburner”. And with the Internet that desire leads to the infamous “YouTube Wormhole”. I have decided to look at my current “writer’s block” of the moment and write through it.

I have also been interested in film. I find myself looking at specific movie scenes and dissecting them to how they work. I know many people don’t look at films in this matter. And that is fine. In my case to be a better writer and creator in that medium is an exercise I need to do. So I am going to be attempting this more often this upcoming year.

Watch this scene from Heat (1995).

The movie was directed by Michael Mann who at that time was best known as the person behind the TV series Miami Vice. This movie is also the first time Al Pacino and Robert Deniro directly acted together in. (Godfather 2 does not count.) The story is about a cop (Pacino) trying to take down a crew of high tech robbers lead by Deniro.

The scene is what is known as the midpoint of a movie. In is important especially towards action movie. This is where the audience has a chance to “catch their breath”. It is usually a brief scene in which the main characters have a moment of dialogue. It reveals something about their character or motives. When this scene is done the film will once pump up the action to drive the story to its conclusion. In most action movies this scene is about 2-3 minutes. Here it is a bit longer. The movie itself is almost three hours long. This movie takes another twist when it comes down to good vs. bad because here the two of them show mutual respect.

Watch the scene again and listen to the dialogue. And what it reveals about their character. Notice how their dialogue is not steeping on each other. There are pauses of thought and listening. There is another clue here on the movie’s action will develop. Any time a character reveals his personal rules of conduct the movies tension will be about how those rules are put into conflict. Usually by breaking them.

This movie maybe three hours long but it is edited so well that the story keeps moving. It is also about how all the characters are dealing with their relationships that are in trouble. This subplot helps give this film more texture.

Film is also a visual medium to storytelling. Watch when any the characters are going into a life changing event they shot in gray scale.

It also has one the great shoot out scene ever in film.

(This is NOT a photo of my actually home office. I am too embarrassed to take an actual picture of it.)

I realize that it has been over a month since I lasted posted something new. It has been way too long. I wanted to post the following before the one I am trying to assemble right now. I decided to for now just to post that part for now.

I hate when I have to waste energy taking care of a few items that drain my energy. In this case, it was a few things I have put off for too long. And it was inevitably that it was going to be a problem. It is so true. You can only run so far and for so long.

I always will read anything about the “creative process”, especially when it comes from writers, filmmakers and comedians. I am trying to gain some insight into their process. Maybe I will be able to learn some secret that will help to understand my own. I may “create” for the most part on my own. However, the ideas I have do not exist in vacuum on their own. I look at the notepad filled with ideas and other notes. My notepad looks like a “Rorschach Test” of words. And it is my job to assembly them into some sort of final product. Sometimes it just flows. And other times it is a struggle. Just because I can come up with an idea does not mean that I know how it will look as a final product all the time. I have heard this phrase from many authors who speak of their own blocks. They call it, “trying to break the code”. And right now that is what I trying to wrestle with.

And when I get into these blocks I go about seeking books, movies, music, podcasts, etc in order to keep my own mental batteries charged. The problem is I can get stuck a little too long with them. (NOTE: I did read the books, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and The Girl Who Played with Fire by Steig Larsson. The character of “Lisbeth Salander” is probably one of the most intriguing popular literary characters of the last few years.)

So the only answer I can conclude for now is to keep moving on. And try to maintain some sort of balance. But that too has been a work in progress. And wishing there was more progress.

MUSIC: Soundgarden – Room a Thousand Years Wide.

Yesterday, I watched the movie Gran Torino. It is a story about acceptance and transformation leading to some form of ultimate salvation. This is a perfect film that feeds into the idea underlying a New Year’s weekend.

Usually, I link to some music that I am listening to while I am writing a blog posting. However, I am listening to a full album today. The Who’s 1971 classic Who’s Next. It is a complete album because none of the songs on the album exist as just “filler”. It has one of the best opening songs for an album ever with “Baba O’Riley”. (OK. I linked to one song. However, do yourself a favor and get the whole album.) It is kind of sad that now a day’s many music artists cannot construct an entire album’s worth of songs. The ability for many people to listen to an album as a whole seems to be a fading memory too. Channel surfing in the digital Internet age is too easy and also too arbitrary at the same time.

I am like many people at this time year trying to figure out how to make a fresh start to the year. And how to achieve that break through you desire. I am not going into the details of a few events that happened to me in late November through December of 2009. It was hard enough. The other problem is that I cannot write anything in detail that would provide any noticeable insight or any ultimate wisdom that was acquired. All I can hint at is that my perception of things that I have held on to for a long time may not be actually true. Or they really may be true. It is a conundrum. (Yes. I had to look that word up.) Sometimes when looking at the equation of your life you have to remove yourself from that equation. Sometimes your own ego is a killer in the equation.
I also need to recharge the mental battery a little bit while I am going about things. I have been reading the book. Ignore Everyone and 39 Other Keys to Creativity by Hugh MacLeod. He started by making comics on the back of business cards. He also posts on the site GapingVoid.com. He had one of the biggest downloads with “How to Be Creative” and it form the basis of his book. I got back into checking out his website recently. He is very insightful on how to use the Internet to promote your creative endeavors. It is good to know there are resources out there to look to for support. Even if you are just a “browser”. I recommend this site for anyone trying to be “creative” and needs some insight.

He posted this comment on his FaceBook page.

“What’s the one thing that ALL of the SUCCESSFUL artists I know personally have in common…? They crank the shit out like short order cooks.”

This is a key to me throughout this year. I need to be more prolific in my postings. It is like exercise. You cannot get stronger if you do not keep exercising the muscles. I need to put out more content. Hopefully, it will lead to more opportunities. It is better way than using fast food to expand my horizons.

In the picture is a small notebook I carry around with me through the day at work. I make notes of any thoughts I may have that may help at some point in my writing. I make notes from various podcasts I listen to. There may be books I need to read. Films I should watch. I note websites I need to check out. I have been asked from time to time about how I know some much “weird” shit. I just watch and listen. But more importantly I make notes.
I then need to get to writing out on the notepad on the clipboard to expand out the ideas I noted. And make them appear on the website.

I also need to clean up the home office. But that is another sad story. I wish I had enough money to pay for a “support” staff. I wish I could outsource the petty things I need to accomplish so I can get to the major items on my “to-do writing list”. Sadly, “No man is an island”. However, I have made a good case for a man being a “landfill”.

MUSIC: Social Distortion

The last few days brought some really, really cold air to area. It was the cold that just runs right through you. It kind of fueled my already low mood. As Shakespeare might say “Now is the winter of discontent…” And the book The Winter of Our Discontent by John Steinbeck is on my “to read” list.

I also had yet another repair to do last week. The windshield of my truck cracked. Last summer, a truck kicked a stone and put a small chip in my windshield. Two weeks ago that chip became a ¼ crack. And driving to work last Wednesday morning the crack grew right across the windshield as I was driving about 60 MPH. I want to make the commute to work just once without having to say the phrase “What the Fuck?!” This was just the latest in series of breakdowns I have been experiencing over the last 2-3 months. I am completely drained of energy right now. And I learned another item a couple of days ago (which I will not mention because the circumstances are not completely my own to talk about) that I am hoping will resolve itself. However, the only approach that can be taken is “wait and see”.

I have also been having major problems staying focused and resolved on my writing. Every time that I resolve myself to spend time just doing nothing but writing it seems a “problem” comes that needs to be addressed immediately. It also happens every time I also resolve to clean the apartment too. There seems to be some unknown force in my life that wants to “clutch defeat from the jaws of victory”. There are many days in which I come home with low energy and doing something I enjoy would be a good idea. I.E. writing. However, I fear that dreaded problem phone call. I do not want to get defeated. And I end up just “vegging out”. Surprise! This method does not work well either. But I need a “cease fire” and to a chance to work out what I already need to work on. I do not want to get crushed yet again by interruptions.

It is hard to explain to people about my writing. It is an internal manifestation for me. People I think may try to understand it stand it if there was external cause for my writing. They would understand it if the writing was done as an assignment. Many people also need to see something external like a pay stub. It seems like there needs to be something hanging on the wall in order for them to acknowledge it. I think they feel there has to be something external in order for them to feel it is validated. Acknowledgment and validation has been a struggle for me to achieve. I am always looking at my blog stats to see what is being read. My web host logs, Word Press stats, Googling myself and other sites all give a different report of what is being clicked on. I heard an author once say that such tools were invented to torture writers. And they do.

I heard an interview on the radio the other day with comedian Robert Schimmel. He was talking about how he made through some tough personal times over the last few years. This is what he said that caught my attention. “When people start dictating their definition to you and if you do not live up to that then you are not successful. Then you need to come up with your own definition of success.” I come from a family and also have friends who seem to imply that success is being “married with children”. I am not married. But I do have a “child” in a sense. What is a child? A child is something that you create that is something that is bigger than yourself. It is a love-hate relationship. But you want it to grow and will do anything for the “child”. My “child” is my writing. I wish I could find a way to show this point better to others. But there will always be “the loneliness of the long distance runner” when it comes to being a writer.

Remember even Hitler’s father had “The World’s Greatest Dad” coffee mug in the cupboard. Think about that.

I heard once that you know you are in the right profession when you are willing to do it for free. That maybe true but this logic does not work when I have to pay the web hosting fee.

I have also watched a couple of movies this week that also seem to fit into this concept of struggle. What can I say? If I am going to “veg” I might as well be watching some movies. They were both fight movies. One was martial arts and the other was a boxing movie. I think this movies fighting is used more as metaphor for the struggle within. The first was Redbelt, the latest film from David Mamet. I like his writing because he is willing to push boundaries. I like his works because it is about people struggling within their own circumstances. Read his work Glengarry Glen Ross. The other movie was Rocky Balboa. It was sixth movie in the series and the best one along with the original. The character of Rocky is one of the best film characters. I know the series had a lot of ups and downs. I know this character has been the subject of parody over the years. But you need a good character in order to have good parody. A bad character will just be lampooned. And there is a difference between parody and lampoon. Rocky talking to his son says, “Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much can you take and keep moving forward.” This quote best sums up the story line for the movie. It think why the character is still relevant today is because it is about a person who just wants a chance to compete. To compete whether or not it ends up being a “win” or even a “lost”. And run those Rocky Steps.

And I want to leave with a laugh. This clip is kind of a metaphor on my current status courtesy of Ren & Stimpy.


 

Finally, I am looking for help painting two vacant apartments next weekend. The quicker I get it done the sooner I can get back to writing.

MUSIC: Rolling Stones

As I have said in previous posts that I listen to variety of podcasts and music on my MP3 player. In fact, if it ever fell into the wrong hands it could be held against me at the hearing for my mental competency. There is no way a sane person would ever possibly put those together on the same MP3 player. They say, “Variety is the spice of life.” So maybe you should try it on your own MP3 player, IPod or whatever. One the podcasts, I listen to on a regular basis is NPR’s On Point. There are many times that I have no idea about the topic but I will listen to it anyways. It is a chance to broaden my perspective on things. I know many people who need to try something like this. I listen to this show the other day on Randomness. It is about mankind’s perspective on how events happen to them. How mankind tries to predict and control the outcomes to events. It also had some points on picking good movies. This story is takes an approach similar to Freakonomics to the topic. It talks about statistics without going heavy into the math behind them.

My circumstances like many of you are finding out for yourselves are changing. The rhetoric about that is getting worse every day. This being a Presidential election year only makes it worse. I used to feel it was required for a person to be aware of current events. I am beginning to rethink that policy. The problem is the rhetoric is becoming the equivalent of high fructose corn syrup. It may be very filling. But it was no real nutritional value to it. To sum it up, I am totally burned out by the news. My recommendation is watch or read the news in moderation. Better yet watch it at a bar. Homer Simpson said it best. “Better the cause of and solution to most of life’s problems.” Change is always with us. For example, I was looking forward to a vacation at the end of July. However, current economics and logistics are slowly making that slip away for this year. It is disappointing. But I have to accept the honesty of living within my means and capabilities. And I want a life within those means at the same time. So that most likely means staying close to home. And that is not necessarily a bad place to spend some time. There are a few projects I have put off too long. I guess this summer is beginning to look like it is more based on re-creation rather than recreation. This opportunity is the undertone to American society when you think about it.

The big thing is I need to figure out how to improve and grow this website. I have been looking at the stats meter on both my website and my blog. Sadly, I wish I was getting more traffic and feedback for both of them. I have been trying to figure out how to gap the divide between myself and the readers. And please DO NOT think that I am mad at anyone who takes the time to read and go through my site. I am just trying to figure what is hitting and what is missing. I am going paraphrase Stephen King who said, “First Draft the door is closed”. The door is open for everything else after that.” In a way it means in the beginning tell no one but then you have to show everything to some degree.

I have also posted my latest script entry from MoviePoet.com. It was my April entry. The script could not contain any dialogue or narration. This means the story had to be told using only visual action. My script is entitled “Last Call”. And here are the comments on it. As I have said before my writing is very much a work in progress. It is very much a learning process that keeps going. I have to said, I became somewhat disappointed on the results for this entry. I need to get back to the “grindstone” and rework this script. I wished I had come across much better than I did. Please Do Not be offended by the following term. I call this being “artistically autistic”. I am trying to create or in this case write something. However, I came up short or failed in trying to communicate this “idea” in my writing. And typo errors seem to be like ants. You never seem to be able to kill them all. In the end, I have still have to keep that chair in front of the “grindstone” or in this case the computer. Hopefully, my May entry of an adaptation of an Edgar Allan Poe short story does better. June entry may be tough for me. It has to be a family friendly script. I am definitely not a “G-rated” person.

Finally, I have to pass this along when it comes down randomness. Check your Junk E-mail folder carefully before you delete the contents of the folder. I found a pleasant surprise in it last night. I do not want to go into details about it at this point. I feel that if I talk too much about it then I will over analyze it. And that can lead to it becoming “cursed”. I am trying to get into the “Zen” of it. In other words, I am going to try to “go with the flow” on this one. Let it be what it is. And hopefully see what it may be become. I hate (I really do) to be vague but I am trying to manage the expectations of it by not getting wrapped up in the hype.

MUSIC: R.E.M.

I know I have to get myself back into the discipline of writing (especially blog posts) on a more regular basis. But as I said in my last post, I have a lot of projects coming together at once. And for the most part I am a “crew of one”. But I do not want to go any farther on that point.

Last weekend, I went on a Ghost Hunt. It was a really cool experience. And “Yes” I did see things. I am still reviewing my photos of the event so I may have more about it later. But I want to talk about something else. It is about how people react to what I am up to. I am trying to grow as a writer. I am trying to write characters that seem real. So I listen to not only what people say but how they say it. And it is all in the phrasing. So this is what I have noticed over the last few weeks. This example relates back to my Ghost Hunt experience. Whenever I told people (the few) what I was about to do. This is what I heard almost 100% of the time. “Why would you want to do that?” Take a good look at the phrasing of the question. Here is what I have come to realize about the phrasing of that question. It is a negative response. It shows a person who is most likely not willing to accept whatever is going on. But what phrasing would make the question a positive inquiry? It goes like this “Why are you doing that?” Can you see or read the difference between the two? The first is a person is seeing the world through his own filters. The second is a person trying to understand your filters.

This is what I have learned about people from my experiences. If a person cannot “accept” whatever you are doing until they “understand” what you are doing is a person who will “roadblock” you more often than not. A person who is willing to give some to “benefit of doubt” to you as you are doing your thing is exercising some “faith” in you. Is not the basis of “faith”? Is that not the base for “acceptance” based in “faith” which is not necessarily based on a complete “understanding”?

It is not just what people are saying. It is also how they are saying it.

And by the way. Why did I want to do the Ghost Hunt? Why not? It was something different to try.