Usually, I link to some music that I am listening to while I am writing a blog posting. However, I am listening to a full album today. The Who’s 1971 classic Who’s Next. It is a complete album because none of the songs on the album exist as just “filler”. It has one of the best opening songs for an album ever with “Baba O’Riley”. (OK. I linked to one song. However, do yourself a favor and get the whole album.) It is kind of sad that now a day’s many music artists cannot construct an entire album’s worth of songs. The ability for many people to listen to an album as a whole seems to be a fading memory too. Channel surfing in the digital Internet age is too easy and also too arbitrary at the same time.

I am like many people at this time year trying to figure out how to make a fresh start to the year. And how to achieve that break through you desire. I am not going into the details of a few events that happened to me in late November through December of 2009. It was hard enough. The other problem is that I cannot write anything in detail that would provide any noticeable insight or any ultimate wisdom that was acquired. All I can hint at is that my perception of things that I have held on to for a long time may not be actually true. Or they really may be true. It is a conundrum. (Yes. I had to look that word up.) Sometimes when looking at the equation of your life you have to remove yourself from that equation. Sometimes your own ego is a killer in the equation.
I also need to recharge the mental battery a little bit while I am going about things. I have been reading the book. Ignore Everyone and 39 Other Keys to Creativity by Hugh MacLeod. He started by making comics on the back of business cards. He also posts on the site GapingVoid.com. He had one of the biggest downloads with “How to Be Creative” and it form the basis of his book. I got back into checking out his website recently. He is very insightful on how to use the Internet to promote your creative endeavors. It is good to know there are resources out there to look to for support. Even if you are just a “browser”. I recommend this site for anyone trying to be “creative” and needs some insight.

He posted this comment on his FaceBook page.

“What’s the one thing that ALL of the SUCCESSFUL artists I know personally have in common…? They crank the shit out like short order cooks.”

This is a key to me throughout this year. I need to be more prolific in my postings. It is like exercise. You cannot get stronger if you do not keep exercising the muscles. I need to put out more content. Hopefully, it will lead to more opportunities. It is better way than using fast food to expand my horizons.

In the picture is a small notebook I carry around with me through the day at work. I make notes of any thoughts I may have that may help at some point in my writing. I make notes from various podcasts I listen to. There may be books I need to read. Films I should watch. I note websites I need to check out. I have been asked from time to time about how I know some much “weird” shit. I just watch and listen. But more importantly I make notes.
I then need to get to writing out on the notepad on the clipboard to expand out the ideas I noted. And make them appear on the website.

I also need to clean up the home office. But that is another sad story. I wish I had enough money to pay for a “support” staff. I wish I could outsource the petty things I need to accomplish so I can get to the major items on my “to-do writing list”. Sadly, “No man is an island”. However, I have made a good case for a man being a “landfill”.

The last few days brought some really, really cold air to area. It was the cold that just runs right through you. It kind of fueled my already low mood. As Shakespeare might say “Now is the winter of discontent…” And the book The Winter of Our Discontent by John Steinbeck is on my “to read” list.

I also had yet another repair to do last week. The windshield of my truck cracked. Last summer, a truck kicked a stone and put a small chip in my windshield. Two weeks ago that chip became a ¼ crack. And driving to work last Wednesday morning the crack grew right across the windshield as I was driving about 60 MPH. I want to make the commute to work just once without having to say the phrase “What the Fuck?!” This was just the latest in series of breakdowns I have been experiencing over the last 2-3 months. I am completely drained of energy right now. And I learned another item a couple of days ago (which I will not mention because the circumstances are not completely my own to talk about) that I am hoping will resolve itself. However, the only approach that can be taken is “wait and see”.

I have also been having major problems staying focused and resolved on my writing. Every time that I resolve myself to spend time just doing nothing but writing it seems a “problem” comes that needs to be addressed immediately. It also happens every time I also resolve to clean the apartment too. There seems to be some unknown force in my life that wants to “clutch defeat from the jaws of victory”. There are many days in which I come home with low energy and doing something I enjoy would be a good idea. I.E. writing. However, I fear that dreaded problem phone call. I do not want to get defeated. And I end up just “vegging out”. Surprise! This method does not work well either. But I need a “cease fire” and to a chance to work out what I already need to work on. I do not want to get crushed yet again by interruptions.

It is hard to explain to people about my writing. It is an internal manifestation for me. People I think may try to understand it stand it if there was external cause for my writing. They would understand it if the writing was done as an assignment. Many people also need to see something external like a pay stub. It seems like there needs to be something hanging on the wall in order for them to acknowledge it. I think they feel there has to be something external in order for them to feel it is validated. Acknowledgment and validation has been a struggle for me to achieve. I am always looking at my blog stats to see what is being read. My web host logs, Word Press stats, Googling myself and other sites all give a different report of what is being clicked on. I heard an author once say that such tools were invented to torture writers. And they do.

I heard an interview on the radio the other day with comedian Robert Schimmel. He was talking about how he made through some tough personal times over the last few years. This is what he said that caught my attention. “When people start dictating their definition to you and if you do not live up to that then you are not successful. Then you need to come up with your own definition of success.” I come from a family and also have friends who seem to imply that success is being “married with children”. I am not married. But I do have a “child” in a sense. What is a child? A child is something that you create that is something that is bigger than yourself. It is a love-hate relationship. But you want it to grow and will do anything for the “child”. My “child” is my writing. I wish I could find a way to show this point better to others. But there will always be “the loneliness of the long distance runner” when it comes to being a writer.

Remember even Hitler’s father had “The World’s Greatest Dad” coffee mug in the cupboard. Think about that.

I heard once that you know you are in the right profession when you are willing to do it for free. That maybe true but this logic does not work when I have to pay the web hosting fee.

I have also watched a couple of movies this week that also seem to fit into this concept of struggle. What can I say? If I am going to “veg” I might as well be watching some movies. They were both fight movies. One was martial arts and the other was a boxing movie. I think this movies fighting is used more as metaphor for the struggle within. The first was Redbelt, the latest film from David Mamet. I like his writing because he is willing to push boundaries. I like his works because it is about people struggling within their own circumstances. Read his work Glengarry Glen Ross. The other movie was Rocky Balboa. It was sixth movie in the series and the best one along with the original. The character of Rocky is one of the best film characters. I know the series had a lot of ups and downs. I know this character has been the subject of parody over the years. But you need a good character in order to have good parody. A bad character will just be lampooned. And there is a difference between parody and lampoon. Rocky talking to his son says, “Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much can you take and keep moving forward.” This quote best sums up the story line for the movie. It think why the character is still relevant today is because it is about a person who just wants a chance to compete. To compete whether or not it ends up being a “win” or even a “lost”. And run those Rocky Steps.

And I want to leave with a laugh. This clip is kind of a metaphor on my current status courtesy of Ren & Stimpy.


 

Finally, I am looking for help painting two vacant apartments next weekend. The quicker I get it done the sooner I can get back to writing.

As I have said in previous posts that I listen to variety of podcasts and music on my MP3 player. In fact, if it ever fell into the wrong hands it could be held against me at the hearing for my mental competency. There is no way a sane person would ever possibly put those together on the same MP3 player. They say, “Variety is the spice of life.” So maybe you should try it on your own MP3 player, IPod or whatever. One the podcasts, I listen to on a regular basis is NPR’s On Point. There are many times that I have no idea about the topic but I will listen to it anyways. It is a chance to broaden my perspective on things. I know many people who need to try something like this. I listen to this show the other day on Randomness. It is about mankind’s perspective on how events happen to them. How mankind tries to predict and control the outcomes to events. It also had some points on picking good movies. This story is takes an approach similar to Freakonomics to the topic. It talks about statistics without going heavy into the math behind them.

My circumstances like many of you are finding out for yourselves are changing. The rhetoric about that is getting worse every day. This being a Presidential election year only makes it worse. I used to feel it was required for a person to be aware of current events. I am beginning to rethink that policy. The problem is the rhetoric is becoming the equivalent of high fructose corn syrup. It may be very filling. But it was no real nutritional value to it. To sum it up, I am totally burned out by the news. My recommendation is watch or read the news in moderation. Better yet watch it at a bar. Homer Simpson said it best. “Better the cause of and solution to most of life’s problems.” Change is always with us. For example, I was looking forward to a vacation at the end of July. However, current economics and logistics are slowly making that slip away for this year. It is disappointing. But I have to accept the honesty of living within my means and capabilities. And I want a life within those means at the same time. So that most likely means staying close to home. And that is not necessarily a bad place to spend some time. There are a few projects I have put off too long. I guess this summer is beginning to look like it is more based on re-creation rather than recreation. This opportunity is the undertone to American society when you think about it.

The big thing is I need to figure out how to improve and grow this website. I have been looking at the stats meter on both my website and my blog. Sadly, I wish I was getting more traffic and feedback for both of them. I have been trying to figure out how to gap the divide between myself and the readers. And please DO NOT think that I am mad at anyone who takes the time to read and go through my site. I am just trying to figure what is hitting and what is missing. I am going paraphrase Stephen King who said, “First Draft the door is closed”. The door is open for everything else after that.” In a way it means in the beginning tell no one but then you have to show everything to some degree.

I have also posted my latest script entry from MoviePoet.com. It was my April entry. The script could not contain any dialogue or narration. This means the story had to be told using only visual action. My script is entitled “Last Call”. And here are the comments on it. As I have said before my writing is very much a work in progress. It is very much a learning process that keeps going. I have to said, I became somewhat disappointed on the results for this entry. I need to get back to the “grindstone” and rework this script. I wished I had come across much better than I did. Please Do Not be offended by the following term. I call this being “artistically autistic”. I am trying to create or in this case write something. However, I came up short or failed in trying to communicate this “idea” in my writing. And typo errors seem to be like ants. You never seem to be able to kill them all. In the end, I have still have to keep that chair in front of the “grindstone” or in this case the computer. Hopefully, my May entry of an adaptation of an Edgar Allan Poe short story does better. June entry may be tough for me. It has to be a family friendly script. I am definitely not a “G-rated” person.

Finally, I have to pass this along when it comes down randomness. Check your Junk E-mail folder carefully before you delete the contents of the folder. I found a pleasant surprise in it last night. I do not want to go into details about it at this point. I feel that if I talk too much about it then I will over analyze it. And that can lead to it becoming “cursed”. I am trying to get into the “Zen” of it. In other words, I am going to try to “go with the flow” on this one. Let it be what it is. And hopefully see what it may be become. I hate (I really do) to be vague but I am trying to manage the expectations of it by not getting wrapped up in the hype.

I know I have to get myself back into the discipline of writing (especially blog posts) on a more regular basis. But as I said in my last post, I have a lot of projects coming together at once. And for the most part I am a “crew of one”. But I do not want to go any farther on that point.

Last weekend, I went on a Ghost Hunt. It was a really cool experience. And “Yes” I did see things. I am still reviewing my photos of the event so I may have more about it later. But I want to talk about something else. It is about how people react to what I am up to. I am trying to grow as a writer. I am trying to write characters that seem real. So I listen to not only what people say but how they say it. And it is all in the phrasing. So this is what I have noticed over the last few weeks. This example relates back to my Ghost Hunt experience. Whenever I told people (the few) what I was about to do. This is what I heard almost 100% of the time. “Why would you want to do that?” Take a good look at the phrasing of the question. Here is what I have come to realize about the phrasing of that question. It is a negative response. It shows a person who is most likely not willing to accept whatever is going on. But what phrasing would make the question a positive inquiry? It goes like this “Why are you doing that?” Can you see or read the difference between the two? The first is a person is seeing the world through his own filters. The second is a person trying to understand your filters.

This is what I have learned about people from my experiences. If a person cannot “accept” whatever you are doing until they “understand” what you are doing is a person who will “roadblock” you more often than not. A person who is willing to give some to “benefit of doubt” to you as you are doing your thing is exercising some “faith” in you. Is not the basis of “faith”? Is that not the base for “acceptance” based in “faith” which is not necessarily based on a complete “understanding”?

It is not just what people are saying. It is also how they are saying it.

And by the way. Why did I want to do the Ghost Hunt? Why not? It was something different to try.

There is probably nothing more ominous than that dreaded Service Engine Light. It really tells you nothing more than “you may have a problem soon”. It has not been a fun week for me when it comes to needing the service technicians. The phone company that moved the phone line on Monday and forgot to reconnect my service. I cannot wait for the future when placing a call to call center is done as video conference. I want to be able to put a face with the “dumb ass” responses I get to my problem. Plus, I print a screen capture of the service representative (Which is an oxymoron. Heavy on the moron.) so then I have something new for the dartboard. And on Thursday, I went to have my oil change only to find the hood latch was broken and on top of it my service engine light came on. (Broken oxygen sensor)

If things come in “threes” then I am afraid to get out of bed. And touch anything important.

Gas prices are like a reverse emotional stock market. As the prices rise my hope sinks. I was told as child is was important to be informed and aware of current events. Little did I know that message was underwritten by the alcohol industry. Every day the media seems to be reporting that this is it. It has reached a point of the worse. It cannot sink any lower today. But wait until tomorrow. There is trouble coming your way. Here is a special report. Beware! The President needs to declare a special day called “Take a deep breath and calm down America”. But in a Presidential election year everyone from the candidates to the media has to keep relaying the message that “America is screwed.” So the bad news is we have at least 6-8 months more of this shit. Sorry. Beer? Anyone?

We live in a media world that needs to make money. And nothing makes people want more media than having the shit scared out of them. It is all about ratings. The real “truth” is becoming a very distant second.

Another “engine” I have been working at is my writing. I am working on those pain in the ass little details. I have been working on a short screenplay for a contest entry at MoviePoet.com. The thing is you cannot use dialogue or narration to tell the story. Film is a story using visuals. I had to remember the basics. The following may seem a bit “geeky”. I read a few comic books. X-Men to be exact. Comic books are good thing for people who are interested in film. You get to see how words and images come together. It is just another way to storyboard a story. I also have been reviewing and relearning scriptwriting from Syd Field who has written many books on the subject. I also loaded a podcast for the MP3 player. It is a good way to keep at the lessons while I have to be at work. Multitasking on a whole other level.

I also have begun to realize there are a few things in the writing that need work. I am not good at coming up with character names. I also need to be able to work faster. I agonize a lot over my work. It has probably lead to “paralysis by analysis”. But with limited if any feedback it makes me “second guess” myself. I go back trying to find that detail that prevented what I wrote from coming across. I know I have to start by writing for myself. But I need to make the next step from there. I also need to declutter my apartment and make a better writing space. I need a maid. Sadly I do.

The other thing is I rather be at the “grindstone” aka my computer typing out ideas. I rather be here than somewhere talking about it. And I know that this comes off as being “antisocial”. But it is what it is.

So I decided I had to come up with 10 attempts for this exercise.

1. Daily testing God’s sense of humor.
2. Quiet in person. Rocker by night.
3. Easily confused as being a psychopath
4. I got up for this crap?
5. Pizza and beer: Underrated romantic dinner.

   (NOTE: But a damn fine weekend breakfast meal)

6. Finishing housework is just an illusion.
7. Size matters? Always answer with “Yes”.
8. Easy maintenance means “No One Cares”
9. UFO’s, Bigfoot, Experts and other myths
10. It’s debatable what is strange here

And sorry about the change in fonts on the site. I write the blog in Word 2007 and post from there. The new version of Word Press did something “funky”. So I am working on yet another thing now.

I heard a thought in a podcast last week about the need for companies to generate that “One Big Idea”. And it was stated that there is no such thing. Companies should generate many “Little Ideas”. I think that the same mentality should be applied to writing. I have yet to come out with “The Big Bestseller” piece of writing. And that is all right. So right now I have been just writing smaller things. Like blog postings. The goal is to exercise the “writing muscle”. I need to keep at it to build up to bigger pieces. So I have been just writing down ideas and thoughts lately. I may take these thoughts and build them into something bigger at a later time. It is better to write them down because I cannot tell you how many times I have tried to keep the ideas in my head only to forget them. It feels bad than I may have forgotten the idea for good. And to be a bit egotistical for a moment let me say they were “Damn Good”. I consider them to be a warm up for a possible first draft. And as I said in another post that I do not talk about them in the first draft phase. But I will give you a hint. I had ideas for 2 science fiction type stories and one about a tavern. And please do not ask about the “what and why” about these ideas I had. And I am also not taking anyone’s input at this time on them either. These ideas may lead to something in the future. And then again they may not. I will not know for sure until I go “mining” into them.

Generating ideas is a never ending process. Sometimes I see a picture and want to write a few sentences about it. I may hear a song that invokes images that tells a story. Or I am cutting articles out of newspapers that caught my attention. Sometimes the ideas work out and sometimes there is not as much as I thought with the idea. There is no way to deal with “Too Many Ideas Syndrome”. It makes you more “honest” when it comes to ideas. Remember the saying, “You cannot polish a turd”. To get an idea of how the process goes listen to Act 1 of Tough Room from the This American Life website.

I think that is why calling my blog here “Some Assembly Required” really fits as a title. It is about the ideas I have and the process of putting them together. It is about the process of writing to put them out there. I hope this triggers some thought in the readers out there. Which I hope someday will turn into feedback. And go from there with even more thoughts and better writing to produce even more.

On another note, I wish I could be better at detecting those damn typo errors. I swear I check for them before posting. And yet they still pop up.

Another thing I want to mention here. As I have said in previous posts that I listen to a lot of various podcasts. I found another from WFMU website. It is called The Dusty Show. The host Clay Pigeon (what a cool radio name) goes around NYC area interviewing people on the street. It is all random who he talks to. Listening to this is another way for me to gain some insight into people to help write “real” characters. The other part, I like is that he asks questions to get conversation. He is not in people’s face and he seems like he really is listening to responses. This is quite the opposite of too many talk shows on the airwaves today. I like that he does not try to angle in some personal agenda. This has become another source for ideas to “mine” into writing.

I know we now live firmly in the “digital age” of media. There is something that I find is now an idea that is fading away. The linear notes. Also known as the credits. The notes those who created the work make telling about all the “who, what, where, when, why and how’s” went into making it. I do like reading the credits because I start making connections on how the individuals involved contributed to each “piece” they were involved with. A couple of examples from the movies. I can tell by the names of certain cinematographers how a film will look. I also know that there will be certain themes used by a specific director. It is like reading the ingredient list of a recipe to get some idea on the taste and flavor of the meal may turn to be.

I was watching a few episodes of M*A*S*H a few weeks ago. And I will say this again. If you watch the show on DVD then do yourself a favor by turning off the laugh track in the audio options menu. As a writer (and also being myself), you find many people want their humor and their drama kept into two separate and distinct categories. And any attempt to mix the two is messing with a very dangerous “gray area”. But I think in exploring ideas in this “gray area” can lead to producing something that has better. This “gray area” also the potential to alienate the audience. This where the “buttons are being pushed”. It all depends on how you handle the material. You can go too far over the audience’s “head” and come off like a snobby avant-garde art film. The act of being “pretentious” is not a way of being “vastly intelligent”. And on the other hand, “shooting below the belt” relying on just “bathroom humor” is the best way to “lighten the mood”. There is a “fine” line between the two. And they can coexist in a piece. Every day, you experience the wide range of human emotions. And sometimes this can happen in the space of a short amount of time. I think that it should take place in writing too. You should basically “aim for the head” with the audience. Personally speaking about my own writing style here. I like a humorous conversation. I am not the best at writing a lot of things that build up to one ultimate “punch line” to hang the conversation on.

The best example of a fictional character that balances these two ideas of drama and humor is Hawkeye Pierce on the television show M*A*S*H. I read the following somewhere and at the moment I cannot remember who or where (so the following quote is not exact). “You have to give Alan Alda credit for playing this character because he made you both laugh and cry with the same emotional integrity within his acting”. It also shows what can happen with a script when it is given to right person to act for it. Hawkeye is still one of the most famous characters in television history. And here is another idea that I cannot remember who said it first. “He had the most important trait for a character. He has a difference that sets him apart. And a real belief in that difference”. Hawkeye knew he was a good doctor in which he showed the ability instead of told you his ability. Just like in real life. I would rather know you have some skill by doing it. Rather than constantly reminding me you have a piece of paper on your wall saying you have that ability. The show was also a sign of the times they were filmed in too. Where a medical show on television these can show some of the “gory” details in surgery M*A*S*H could not do to the standards of that day. So instead what they showed was the “emotions” of the surgery is where the “price” the characters had to be paid. Hawkeye did not want to be in that war zone either but if he was going to be there then he would do medicine to the best and beyond of his own abilities. He was not going to do it on the Army’s term either. This was how he was going to preserve his humanity. Another thing that goes into writing a good character is those little details. Hawkeye got his name from the book The Last of the Mohicans which the only book his father ever read. Quirks like this make characters better.

I could not find any clips on line to show as examples of the Hawkeye character. But here is the Theme Music to the show.

So I am going to tell you about some episodes to look out for if you should catch the show on a television station.

Chief Surgeon Who? Hawkeye is appointed to being the outfits’ head surgeon even though he is outranked by Major Frank Burns. Colonel Henry Blake says that the position belongs to the doctor who has the best skills when “the heat is on”. Note. That in the history of the show Hawkeye would at least acknowledge he was the “head surgeon” but he never used this title as “trump card”. I think if he did then he would have hated himself for it because it meant he had bought into the bureaucracy of the Army. And that is the last thing he would ever allow to happen. Once again he would rather rely on his own skill.

Sometimes You Hear the Bullet. I have heard in interviews with the producers of the show that this is the episode when they realized what the show was truly about. This is the show that was the first to show me the balance between drama and comedy. In this episode Hawkeye’s childhood friend Tommy visits. He is now an infantryman in the war and is writing a book about his experiences. Sadly, later on he arrives at the hospital badly wounded. Hawkeye with all of his abilities is unable to save him. And this leaves him with one question. Why didn’t he cry over the other dead soldiers?

Fallen Idol (No link available). This episode is an examination of “hero worship”. Radar O’Reilly is wounded in this episode and Hawkeye has trouble coping with it. This leads him to get too drunk and unable to operate. Radar is upset that his idol could fall like this. Hawkeye unloads on him that his purpose is not to live up to anyone expectations. He is there to save lives without going insane. This defines and redefines their relationship with each other.

Life Time (No link available) This episode was done in real time with no laugh track. There is a clock shown ticking in the corner of the screen. This is a good example of drama and humor colliding in a story. They must safe a soldier’s life and avoid paralysis by doing an aorta transplant. They are fighting the clock. And it does not help that the donor soldier who is brain dead has not died yet.

Hawkeye provided a lot of memorable dialogue throughout the series.

You can see the influence of this character in other shows. The best examples, I can think of are the characters of Dr. Gregory House (Hugh Laurie, House, M.D.) and Dr. Doug Ross (George Clooney, E.R.)

I really did not want to delve into politics with my blog. So forgive me for this one. I just want to say I do not want to dictate how and why you should vote a specific way. I do not care if you believe or not the things that I do. I can have a conversational debate with you. All that I asked is that you do not repeat verbatim the “party” line regardless of which one. I want the conversation to have more depth to it than quick sound bites and name calling. But avoid doing this if you are easily offended.

I hate the way politics are done in this country. And there is not one party that represents me 100%. I would like to join the “I’m American” party for once. There has been a lot of debate on the airwaves lately. It really gets heated every four years when we are electing the President. Every four years I hear the fact that we need, “Change!” However, no one can really define what exactly this “change” needs to be done. The truth is the only “change” that the only change that is going to have an immediate impact on my life is quarters for the laundry machines. And when it comes to “change” I would like more of it. So please LOWER THE TAXES. It is true that we do not understand our own history in this country. America fought for its freedom for one reason. Not that “each man was created equal.” But it was a nice thought. The truth is we were pissed off that the King of England was taxing the shit out of us. (I hate to mention this but I think it is the only thing not taxed in this country. The last of the “revenue stream”.) We just wanted to live our lives without someone telling us what to do. And then making us pay for it.

The other thing that is disturbing about the Presidential election is that they all run on the idea of being a “Uniter”. They will bring us all together. Is that necessarily a good idea? It is like family Holiday get togethers. There is a reason they only happen about 5-6 times a year. The other problem about running on this idea of “unity” is they spend a lot of time “ripping each other a new one”. But you can let the “healing begin” if you do not “wound” the other guy. It is becoming like the oxymoron “Civil War” without the gun fights. Another problem is that none of these candidates stand behind what they say. MEMO: To the candidates. In this modern age of media, when the “replay” of what you have said somewhere is put out then you cannot say you were “misquoted”. You were “caught”. And arguing about “context” is a just poor attempt to “cover your ass”. We know what you said and when. So Cowboy Up!

Let me bring these two points together. I am tired of hearing that is country made this far by just “fucking up” and we have done nothing good. Without us “evil” would not exist in the world. And that is what is pissing Satan off. He was making “evil” a lot earlier than 1776. I know America can seem like a “goofy” place. And makes you wonder how we got to be #1. We are country where obesity is as much of porblem as anorexia. People complain about hunger but food is available on about every third or fourth street corner. There is no health care for people but when there is an emergency those who respond never ask first for an insurance card before trying to save your life. There is nothing but complaints of censorship going on but we now have over 500 channels on TV. I thought the idea of censorship was to limit outlets of information. You can get in most parts a free library card and read whatever you want. There is much more information being put forth than any time before in history. America has come to this point in history by “trial and error”. There has been good and bad times. The challenge of the “experiment of democracy” is that is not meant to be done by lazy people. The culture of America can probably be best explained by that little breaking and entry pest Goldilocks. She went into the bears’ house and everything was too big, too small, too hot, too cold, etc. It was hard for the pest to find something that was “just right” for her. The bears in my opinion should have come home ripped her into large, small, and just right pieces. Dunked those pieces in the porridge and then had a nap.

The worse part of this election year is how much will be spent on it. And people think that talk is cheap. The sad part is that it has less “value” to it for the amount of money. I know there is a huge debate over the costs of things in this country such as energy, health care and the war. And there should be. But no one is saying anything worth the campaign costs. And all the political parties are guilty.

I am not saying I have any answers. But it is strange for me. The more I write. The more questions I have been having. I am trying to figure out this world. So in looking for answers I am reading more than usual. To paraphrase Stephen King again. If you do not have the time to read, you do not have the tools to write. I read a book last week by Kevin Sites who was freelance journalist working for Yahoo.com’s Hot Zone and wrote the book In the Hot Zone based on the experience. He reported on 20 conflicts all around the world in the course of one year. It puts a face on the cost of war by putting a human face on it. It was an eye-opener. If you think the major media outlets are telling you everything that is going on then you are in for a rude awakening with this book. I still do not know why war and its violence is a course of action in this world. It may be necessary but there is a price to it too. I am not sure who said the following. Power is the most addictive drug there is in the world. I know there is a debate going on about the war in Iraq. There is a great debate on the costs and our involvement. And where and when it should be done. After reading this book I could not find one war that has a simple answer to it. And at the same time I cannot say we should never be involved either. The debate is we should never use our military to involve ourselves in the affairs of other countries. I just want to pose this one idea. When you give money to an organization that does work in another country then are you not engaging in some form of foreign policy? It is something to think about.

Another thing you may not think about. The story of a heavy metal band in Baghdad, Iraq. Ideas and practices do exist in place we would never think about.

Heroic Stories is another to check out if you are interested in “human potential”.

It is starting to become even more interesting to be a writer.

I am trying to figure out the “Meaning of Life”

And the state of relations

To sum this all up.

I have to accept the writings that I do that “fail” as much as I accept the ones that “succeed.”

I am not sure who said this,” A good writer needs a good bullshit detector.”

And find those willing to test to see if it is working.

Writing is like trying to get out of the corner you painted yourself into.