I just finished reading Denis Leary’s new book, Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid. And I just watched the following clip of his to attempt to get into the “mood” of the season. And right now I have more than enough “mood” to go around.

I try to keep perspective of myself. And it is not always an easy exercise. I know that people out there have more issues and problems than I do. I also remember the lesson that “You should not judge a person until you walk a mile in their shoes”. True. But I can only write about the journey of “my shoes”. I like to take walks in the woods from time to time. I like taking photos of what catches my eyes. Like the picture here. I also leave the MP3 player at home. These walks from time to time help when I get caught way too much within my own “head space”. But right now they are not working all that well. I need to do things that give me a moment to attempt to be outside of myself.

MUSIC: Gnarls Barkley (This song comes from their amazing St. Elsewhere album)

I am also trying to come to terms with being a Buffalo Bills fan. I am becoming aware that being one maybe causing “a disturbance in my force”. The Bills will break your heart in more than one way it seems. I am more of aware of this after last weekend’s lost to the New York Jets by way of last minute fumble. The Bills this year seem to be able to “snatch defeat from the jaws of victory”. In doing so they brought back the yearly thought by fans of “maybe we will be better next year”. Will this team ever get beyond the memory of “Wide Right”

I seem to going through my own battle with a potential failure. I own an apartment building and I have tenant moving out but he is doing through terms of the lease agreement. He was a good tenant to have. On Monday morning, my other tenants in the lower apartment informed me that they were moving out Jan 15^th and without paying. My real estate rental agent is aware of the problem and is working quickly to resolve the issue. Unfortunately, I have a feeling I am going to end up in claims court with these tenants. I have had to make quick money adjustments to get through the winter and several projects are going to have to be delayed. There are a few things I wanted to do with the website that with have to be delayed. That pisses me off. I know one way to deal with my “head space” issues is to write but right now home is not a good space to be. I find myself walking around my apartment giving the middle finger to the floor. I am also avoiding the trouble tenants and letting the agent deal with them. I know myself and I am going to say something I am going to regret. Right now home is not the place I want to be. The writing is suffering more than I want it to.

I really wish when I decide to focus more on the writing and that I did not have to deal with other people’s bullshit. Sadly, it is bullshit I have no choice but to deal with.

I am going to say this. If you are going to act like an irresponsible asshole and think you should get a pass on it because it is “Christmas Time” then I am going to tell you to “Go Fuck Yourself!” And then I should be allowed one free punch right in your face. It does not matter what age, race, gender, creed, political, religious belief, etc. you are. There are people who deserve to be punched. And hard. I know this country is in the midst of serious challenges. I do not care which political party you subscribe to. This is what it is going to come down to. The responsible people are going to have to take on even more responsibility in order to overcome the irresponsible people of this country. And those irresponsible people are going to have to learn why they do indeed “Suck!” Sadly, you can’t fix stupid.

I am trying to maintain some hope in humanity. So tonight I am going to watch the classic movie To Kill a Mockingbird. Gregory Peck’s Academy Award winning portrayal of Atticus Finch is example of what more people should aspire to be in this country. This is the type of man there should be more. There was a reason why this role was voted by the American Film Institute as the “Greatest Movie Hero of All Time”.

I have also counter balanced this movie with my yearly anti-Christmas movie for the upcoming December 24^th. This year will be “B&B” Eve. “Bourbon and Bombs”. The movie being seen will be the dark comedy classic Dr Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. This is the late Stanley Kubrick’s humorous look at nuclear war. Peace on earth may only be achieved when there is a lot less of people around to screw up the peace on earth. There are times when I too want to ride that bomb down along side Slim Pickens in that memorable moment. You need to sometimes be a bit over dramatic to get people’s attention.

I also got an early Christmas present. A new grindstone. But this one came with a coffee cup holder.

I am going to work over upcoming weeks on my sense of humor. They say laughter is the best medicine. In that case, many years ago when my friend was having cancer surgery and I was in the waiting room. Why did people look at me like I was an asshole for making jokes about him? I should have given all of them a medical bill for my services.

I am just trying to find the balance to the cosmos here. Or maybe it is over there.

My story would combine the following books: War and Peace Leo Tolstoy, Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad, Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey (to add some levity to the story). For those of you who do not read books (because you cannot) then combine the movies Bad Santa and Apocalypse Now (updated Redux version).

I have been (and always will be) looking for something to inspire me to write. I also need to “goof” a bit. I need to ward off the effects and aftermath of what is called “Tis the Season”.

I know I rally against people who drink a beer because of its marketing campaign. My favorite beer of choice at the moment has a “gimmick” that made me want to write a few ideas out. Yes! I am not above the influence (but in this case I was bit under the influence) of the marketing forces. Each bottle comes with a question on the back. It is one of those “if you had to choose” questions.

So here is what a low B.A.C. and just a little too much free time lead to.

Cue the Music!

Question #1:

To turn water into beer –or–Anything into Gold?

This ability would be the quickest way ever to start a mass cult following. My life would achieve a whole new way of “J.C.” without the “H” living. The way most labor in this country is performed on weekends in this country is by the promise of beer in exchange for labor. And I know I could get things done. Call it “the beer can on a stick” initiative. However, my work force would look like something out of a zombie movie. The downfall is I would use this power at the most inappropriate time to be determined later. The ability to turn everything into gold though would attract the “gold digging whores”. Then I had a twisted image of Pussy Galore (best Bond woman name ever) being killed by being spray painted gold in the James Bond movie Goldfinger. (But then I checked it was another girl who died this way in the movie. It is the idea that counts here. And remember that beer drinking lead to this posting) Then I had the demented thought of killing “two birds (in this case one “cat”) with one stone”. What does this mean? Let me just say it is a “dirty thought”. So I am going with water into beer and hoping my “moral compass” turns up or at least points “right”.

Side Note: I am developing my “Pizza and Beer” economic recovery plan in my spare time.

Question #2:

To always make the right decision –or—Always have a way out?

If I could do the first part then I would lose a major reason to drink beer in the first place. Guilt. The secret ingredient that makes religion work all so well. Have a beer. The second part of the question is good reason for a beer too. Success. That does not need the use of a law firm. Cause to celebrate. Have a beer. Homer Simpson says, “Here’s to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life’s problems”. That statement is Brilliant. On this question I am going to have to go with the coin flip because either way works. He could have been a Founding Father like Ben Franklin who said, “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” I wish politicians could say much profound statements like this. I would be happy and more eager to vote. The answer for me to this question is to always have a way out. An escape plan is always a good thing to have to assure personal survival.

Question #3:

To be stuck on a desert island with a supermodel –or—A boat builder

Why does ever label have to be “an either or” decision? Why cannot be both for once? Why is there always some moral dilemma when vice goes up against survival? In this moment, why does an angel appear on one shoulder and the devil on the other? In this case, I want both. This question does have more to it. The truth is the only way I would be “stuck” with a model is through highly improbable odds to begin with. And even higher odds to be with one on a desert island on top of it. So with these high odds in play then why can’t she have boat building as a hobby? Why can’t the character of Kate from the show Lost exist for real? There is much more to this question. And besides I have a lot more analysis on the reality behind the premise to question. Like the following. I hope the island is a small one. I have a feeling that every day she would want to play “hide and seek” for real. And it would involve a lot of running. But more like chasing. It will not be like Gilligan’s Island. I have other thoughts on this one but I am going to stop here.

But let me add a word of advice before I go. If you find yourself spending a lot of time within your own “head space” please do not watch the movie Field of Dreams.

This is a photo of me making “Sweet Love” which for today is code for making beer.

I have been home brewing beer for a few years now. It is a nice hobby to have. I am trying to get back into the habit of brewing on holidays. I heard that holidays are best spent with those you love. Holidays usually involve a gift exchange too. They say that a homemade gift is the best. So I am making beer. The beer today is an Oatmeal Stout with real Maple syrup added for unique flavoring. I love spending time with the things I love.

As a friend once said “I am a curious person”. (It may explain my vastly diverse reading habit) That is how I came upon this hobby. (And that someone bought me a homebrew starting kit for $3 at a garage sale helped) It has been a hobby that I have not had enough time to devote to over the last year. This caused me to lose a few batches of brew. I could cry. This just reminded me I should get my life back to the things I like to do. If I have to explain “the why” to you then you are a person who just does not get me.

There is a problem with my home brewing hobby. It is simple economics. The cost has risen dramatically over the last year or two, Grain prices are up. The hop harvest has not been good on top of it. It just means I am going to have to scale back on my brewing. The recipes I use with have to be simpler. Hopefully, the harvest gets better next year. It is still an interesting hobby to have. And if you are interested in this go to Niagara Traditions Homebrew Supply. It is where I get my supplies and the staff there is very helpful.

I would like to make another about the cost of home brewing beer. I realize that commercial beer makers also need to purchase the ingredients that I use. I understand the economic laws behind supply and demand. AND ALL OF YOU BEER DRINKERS who insist on drinking “shitty” beer are driving up the cost of my ingredients. I encourage the drinking of quality beer but those of you who drink “shit” (I AM TALKING TO ALL OF YOU LIGHT BEER DRINKERS. In fact, it should be illegal to even call light beer a beer at all) should be ashamed of yourselves. Your lack of taste is diverting quality ingredients away from quality beer.

Happy Thanksgiving. Cheers.

I am still waiting for the computers to fulfill the promise of making self publishing easier. I know that computer programs are “What You See is What You Get” (WYSIWYG). I know what I want to see but I end up just saying, “What the Fuck?!” I was promised a simple process with the use of the program. Bullshit. The only simple thing I get is just simply being annoyed. I know my various websites need to look better. I am working on it. And I cannot escape the fact I need to use the computer. So I have no choice but to keep saying, “What the Fuck?” Which by the way is also a popular phrase in the game of golf. Trust me. Even Tiger Woods says it from time to time.

I think that labeling the “Help Menu” is false advertising. It seems that more times than not my “issue” is not found in that directory. “Help” seems like a plea that may someday be responded to. I know that swearing is not always a good thing. But swearing also gets the conversation to get the point quicker. So I think the “Help Menu” should be changed to “WTF?!” I want my problem solved. NOW! And saying “WTF” gets your attention. Real quick. So maybe the answer will come a bit faster.

Sadly, it does not matter because I have to use the computer regardless.

Shit.

CTRL/ALT/DELETE

Question

What will be inscribed on Bill Gates’ tombstone?

MUSIC: Inner Circle (What else could it be?)

It was just another coming home from work this evening. I turned on to my street. I live at the end of the street. I looked down and there was a State Police Trooper parked in my driveway. And no it was not “About time”. It had to be major because if it wasn’t then it would have probably been the local police. I could think to myself that this was not good. What did one of my tenants do? One of my tenants is a teacher. Could this be 6:00 news material? And I being the landlord meant it was going to lead to a whole series of extra questions for myself. As I approached my home I saw they had a car pulled over in my driveway. The car at least did not belong to any of my tenants. The trooper had a young couple detained in the car and he informed me they would be out of the way as soon as possible. I said it would not be a problem. Now I had another good reason other than a forecasted rainstorm coming to rake up the leaves in the yard. I now got to watch my favorite drama/sitcom COPS live. I t looks like Saturday came early this week. And it was live in my driveway!

It played like an episode in a way. Criminals should watch this show to learn what does not work when apprehended.

In this case, it was a young couple who I would say was about 17-20 years old. And you could tell by the looks that all was not well. The price of my entertainment. Another trooper car came on to the scene. Two more troopers came to search the vehicle. They checked the usual areas in the car first. Glove box, ashtray and cup holder. Surprise! Surprise! Though anti-climatic. But dependable locations for a find. Little mini vials were found. You guessed it. Drugs!

Then came all the usual questions and answers.

Trooper: “What do you have these?”

Suspect (the Female): “I don’t know. Do you think I would be stupid to drive with drugs in the car?”

NOTE: If criminals were smart then the show COPS would not be still on the air after 20+ years. And we all know the answer to her question.

The Trooper then interviewed the male suspect who I assume was her boyfriend. And by the way the girlfriend was the driver of the car. As the trooper was talking to him I overheard the usual response, “It’s her car and I do not know about any drugs.” But he was a boring interview on the whole. I guess he was throwing her “under the bus” not to save himself but to set a chance for future angry makeup sex. It is just a theory.

At this moment, I got my typical inappropriate thought given the circumstances. Call it my “curse”. Call it my “gift”. Today, it is reader’s choice. But I wanted a little more COPS style drama at this moment. And at this moment, I wish I had true Jedi powers because I just wanted to put a thought in the young man’s head. A simply thought like…

“Run! Luke. RUN!!”

So maybe I could see the chance of a good tasering of a jackass.

Or I could get to yell, “He is the droid you’re looking for!”

Next, came out the handcuffs for both of the suspects. And I want to know why more times than not a woman cries when handcuffs are put on?

The troopers did a second search of the car. They looked in the trunk for more treasures. It was good to know that the young “innocent until proven guilty” suspects were prepared for an emergency. With such items as jumper cables, snow shovel, flashlight and a box of extra car stereos. I am guessing the last item is going to be rewarded with an extra charge.

This whole episode was almost a two hour process. But it was an interesting thing to watch none the less.

I must commend the real show for doing a good job on editing such episodes to hit the highlights of such moments.

But I got to watch it for free. And live shows these days usually cost much than they are worth.

I really like watching movies. However, for me it is like studying a textbook trying to figure how the movie “works” or doesn’t work. I know I look at movies in a way that most people do not. The “entertainment” value is not the first thing that captures my attention. But it is there, somewhere. There are so many things to a movie for me. It is just not dialogue and action. I am “studying” all the other parts of the movie. The camera shots, sound, music, editing, etc. I also know that most people watching are not conscious of such things. I also know that people do not have to be aware of such things to enjoy a movie. I do not want to come off as being a “snob”. But my movie “taste” is not really one for the masses.

I had Monday off from work. And that meant it was movie day. I saw Kevin Smith’s latest Zach and Miri Make a Porno. I like his how he uses humor to offset the emotions of the characters. Just a heads up if you see it. You will not look at chocolate frosting the same way. And I found out there was a move called the “Dutch rudder”. Go figure. This was the second Kevin Smith movie I saw in a theater BY MYSELF. Yes! I had the whole theater to myself. I like going to the first showing of the day. Attendance is usually at a minimum and besides most people do not know how to behave at a movie anymore. In other words, SHUT UP AND WATCH THE MOVIE. This is the second Kevin Smith movie I saw by myself. It was Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. I did not see Jersey Girl in the theater. So it may have been three. Nothing personal but even Kevin Smith picks on that film a bit too. I did see Clerks by myself by the end of the showing at the theater. There was a small crowd in the theater and most of them were over 65 years old. There was a young couple on the other side of the theater and they were watching each other more than the movie. The elderly crowds (about 20 of them) were there because they saw a good review for in the local paper. And the movie theater is known for showing more Academy Award style movies and foreign films. Clerks is not a style of film usually shown there. As you can imagine the “humor” of the movie was lost on them. In fact, they all got mad and walked out. As the old woman behind me said as I was laughing my ass off, “That is the problem kids find these types of things funny. They should be ashamed”. That was 14 years ago and I still find it funny. That old woman will be disappointed that I have still not yet grown into being “ashamed”. Maybe next year. But knowing me. I would not bet on that happening.

I also just re-read the book The Tender Bar by JR Moehringer. It is a memoir about how the people of a local bar shaped his experiences and being growing up. It is an interesting view of how people shape our “social makeup”. This book had some influence (along with a few more) on this posting.

Pearls and Swines is one of my favorite daily comic strips to read. It is subtly demented. And I like that. This was a strip that fits into my posting.


 

If you are like me there are days in which you have the feeling that you may not exist. People move about like you are not even there. It happened again the other day to me. I stopped by my local pizzeria to grab a couple of slices for quick bite to eat while running a few errands. It was lunchtime and I do realize that such places do get very busy. But I stood there for about five minutes and not one person acknowledged my existence. It would have been nice if I heard at least, “I’ll be right with you” But I got nothing. So I walked out. And now I need to find a new local pizzeria. I know we are in trying economic times. But here is a clue. The real major cause behind declining revenues for businesses is POOR CUSTOMER SERVICE.

But sadly I do desire attention. I am constantly checking my website stats to see what people are reading on my site. It is a hard way to measure the effect my writing has. A couple of months ago I bought a copy of Wired magazine. It featured a young woman on the cover and it stated how she improved her website’s traffic. She was good looking and made sure she had her photo taken with celebrities whenever possible. This is not a strategy that I could adopt. I will never be an “Internet Slut”. If that ever did happen you can forget about your 401k plan. The world will end at that instant. She did not produce anything but she was just seen as being next to people who were. I would like to be on the “producing” side. That is why I write.

Although when I was going through the magazine’s website I came across an article for Leia’s Metal Bikini. What can I say? Star Wars had a major influence on many aspects of my life. I know this is pointless given the title of this posting. But I had to share it.

MUSIC: The Rolling Stones

I have had a couple of friends years ago who would do the following. Every time they broke up with a girlfriend they would spend the next month or two contacting all of their previous ex-.girlfriends. I found this to absolutely pathetic. Looking back on all of it. All of those ex-girlfriends were just as pathetic to be willing to play along with this. It was all just wasting time until they found yet another girlfriend. I just could never figure it out. I never wanted to either. I was above such pathetic behavior. But I will now confess that I am not beyond attempting such behavior. I started web searching for a few people I lost touch with. I did find a couple of them but I am not going to contact them. This may look like cyber stalking but it is more like being a distant voyeur. But they all have a new life and it does not involve me which is fine. I realize is that people change. And we cannot control that change in others only ourselves (And that is true if you are very, very lucky. Or medicated to some degree.) The people you know one day are the same people you used to know the next day. I am not sure who said it but its true “You can’t go home again”. I was attempting to recapture “the lightning in the bottle” sense of things and that only happens in the movies. You can let yourself get caught for too long in the “What if?” scenario. Especially, when it comes to the past.

And DO NOT bother asking who they are or who they were? It does not matter in big scheme of things. Besides I am not going to tell anyways.

There was another story that got me thinking about “contacts” but I am going to save that one for a script or part of one someday down the road.

It is a fact to life that you cannot escape. You can only adapt to. That fact is that no matter how hard you try to fight you cannot escape the reality that your social network is going to change. The context of your social network changes slowly over time. It is rarely caused by a sudden drastic change of circumstances. The catalyst that drives your relationships changes because your needs evolve too. But also what you are able or willing to contribute to relationship.

I have resisted the need to have a social network webpage. I have found that many of these pages seem to just nothing but an attempt at self creation. This means that the people are not being totally honest and real. This thought was confirmed in a chapter of the book Freakonomics in which the author profiled people’s stat and found that they were not in line with stats for our society on a whole. People were taller and incomes were higher. So if it may all be bullshit then why are these sites popular? I now know why people flock like crazy to new social network websites. They want to claim their screen name before someone else beats them to it. The guy who has the name wanted has not used his page in over 3 years. And the only “friend” he could find was “Tom”. I do not know why anyone out there would want to even use my “identity”. And sadly not using the name that entirely well on top of it. It seems like adding insult to injury. I am just acting a little too melodramatic. It is my fault that I did not cross the finish line first when it came to claiming my name. There should be some type of appeal process to claim a name. In my case, reclaim my name. I fell like some sort of victim of “identity” theft.

I resisted it for a long time. The many reason is that I did not want to put a “face” to my name. I am trying to be a writer. Honestly, a better writer. I also thought there show be some “air of mystery”. There should be some “imaginary wall” between the writer (me) and the audience (you). I felt that if you know too much about the author then it takes away from the writing piece. There is less of a chance of discovery to be found reading the piece. However, if I wanted to maintain this illusion trying to live a JD Salinger lifestyle then I not should have been writing a blog. It is through the blog I have been slowly chiseling away at the “wall”. So I might as well get with the times and see what happens.

This is what I am not looking for.

I am not interested in 90% of the chances for any type of “reunion”. It is hard to make conversation with people who existed in a moment of time that is no longer part of your life. Especially class reunions. School in all of it forms are not places I want to visit again at. I take to the Mark Twain quote. “Don’t let college interfere with your education.” This is where education happens. Schools are nothing more than glorified “bleacher seats” in life. There is a big world of difference between school life and the real world. Besides, it is time to make connections for a future rather than trying to relive in the past. A past that I was wanting out of when I was going through it. The past lives in a finite form that comes down to “that was then this is now”. In those “reunion” moments all you can honestly talk about is the weather or maybe a sports game with any sense of immediate honesty. I rather be looking forward now. Instead of going back in time.

I do not want to join on-line play groups. I do not want to be a “Mobster”. Nor do I want to be traded for “Pet” points. You may enjoy being in them. But it is a bit creepy. Think about it. It is.

I do not want to nor am I going to take any online pop culture tests about my personality. For example, I am not going to answer 20-30 questions to see which fast-food item reflects my inner being. I do not need all of those questions to answer that one. For me it is the Louie’s Texas Red Hot.

An absolutely disgusting mess to look at.

But with time an acquired taste. Unique even.

Best served with a beer.

I also am wary of making “friends” with “famous” people or groups. I get the feeling all I making “friends” with is the intern who has to maintain the page. And all I will get is postings saying that new t-shirts and coffee mugs are available. And a reminder to vote for them in surveys to make sure they win awards.

What am I looking for?

People who are willing to honestly engage with my work. People who are willing contribute. And help teach me the skills I need to grow. Especially website development at this moment.

But I would like to meet a woman willing to play Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots. Seems just a bit passive aggressive. Doesn’t it? Please put all Freudian analysis in the Comment section below. But the truth is and this non-negotiable. I require a woman with a true “sense of humor”. Because she is going to need it. And then some.

Ultimately, I am going to try something new and be a little more open to the possible of things. As long as it is legal. And hopefully falls within the constraints of my personal budget. Hopefully, whatever may happen is interesting. It is kind of like the premise behind the book Yes Man by Danny Wallace

If you care to join me. Sounds I am starting a cult. (Now that would be power!) And Karma maybe up to something here I found a copy of Join Me by Danny Wallace at the bookstore. And I need to re-evaluate my Karma with yet another year of not being able to vote for a winning candidate. My strategy of voting against any and all incumbent candidates has not brought about any change what-so-ever. Sorry. I am bad.

You can find me here:

www.myspace.com/foleywrites

I am working on trying to format my MySpace page. So please stay tuned.

And I have yet another place I will be posting blogs at. This time I am the “DJ from Hell”

http://www.playlist.com/foleylistens

It is amazing that two people can talk, talk, talk and still talk some more for over two years. And after two years, most people still have no idea where these two people stand.

This is the same premise behind my own religious education as a child. To be honest I have failed at being Catholic. I am not even the Catholic who makes it to Christmas and Easter service. I know I proclaim to be somewhat conservative when it comes to my own political views. But I am the so-called conservative who does not go to church. People like me are in the minority for sure when it comes to being a conservative per say. In fact, I have only been to church in the last decade for weddings and funerals. They are basically the same. They are a ceremony marking that “Things are going to be changing around here!” Plus there is a lot of crying at both them. Some of the crying maybe silent. But it’s there.

The closest thing I have to religion is being a Buffalo Bills fan. Like faith itself. It is not easy. It was easy to believe when the Bills were 4-0 to start the season this year. But after last week’s lost to the Miami Dolphins the faith is being tested. And this week’s game against the New York Jets is a test once again. Especially, now that the Jets have the former Green Bay Packer’s patron saint quarterback Brett Farve playing for them. It will take faith in Bills to achieve victory. Not to mention a better pass rush by the Bills’ defense. Bills fan want to see the afterlife a.k.a. the playoffs this year.

I guess everyone from time to time goes through a phase of questioning one’s own religious beliefs. Even atheists. They never miss a “God” reference. I am not sure why I would do such questioning on my own. I do not have any cause for such action. No wife, kids or medical mystery happening within my life. The common causes for “crisis of faith”. I guess. My “biological clock” does not have any batteries in it. I guess after all of these years there is still some residual effect from my Catholic education.

So what caused these thoughts to come into my head?

I just finished reading the latest book from comedian Lewis Black entitled, Me of Little Faith. It is very humorous take on religion. If you take the subject of religion seriously then I warn you NOT TO READ THIS BOOK. I do not blame him for the thoughts. But I have to give credit where credit is due.

I keep hearing that in troubling times it is important to keep a sense of humor. Now more than ever. I have even heard that a sense of humor is a “gift from God”. Well, if that is true then God’s gift lead me to the principal’s office a few times in school. She did not get the “gift” from God. And I got detention.

But I believe God does have a sense of humor. And if we laughed more it would be good for us. Especially in church. It may improve attendance. I have an idea on how to combine laughs and God’s teaching. I think the lessons of the Bible would catch on better if they were revealed through “knock knock jokes”. Think about it. I wish I could write one right now as example. However, I am not sure how lightning strikes are treated in regards to my homeowner’s insurance policy. Faith versus liability is a very tricky proposition in regards to my deductible.

As Lewis Black said on one his comedy albums about Ireland, “they have successfully combined religion and alcohol. It is enough to make a Jew weep.” So I think there should be an interfaith service on Sundays held at the bar. It starts when the priest and the rabbi walk in. However, the service will be over by kick off time for the football game. Then the “prayers” begin. Depending on how you bet the games. And how big the bookie’s collection agent is.

This is the best poll out there for the election.

It is all nonsense.

I just want to say that I am not one of those hardcore sports fans. I know enough about football to be able to enjoy a Buffalo Bills game. Let me side track for a moment. It is not easy being a Buffalo Bills fan but this year with a 4-1 record to start has made things easier. The problem is the ability to remain cautiously optimistic. I am afraid if I get too optimistic I am setting myself up for a major letdown. That being said let me get back on this brief topic. It is ironic that as not being a hardcore fan I find myself listening to sports radio a lot lately. I know it is complete nonsense. In the end it means nothing. The reality is it does not have to mean anything. It does not have to be anything of major consequence. I use to listen to political topics on the radio but the consequence to those topics can really mean something in the end. The sad reality is that the current state of it is nothing more than being completely ridiculous. It is all just screaming the other side is wrong. Talk radio is not a conversation of the issues what so ever. A conversation not only involves talking but it also includes listening. This is the basis for honest debate. I do not care what side you are on but you are kidding yourself to believe you are hearing any really conversation and debate in this election year. It has all become one elaborately displayed infomercial by all sides. The person who promises you the most will deliver you the least in the end.

But to get back to sports. I had a professor in college who says man invents sports because there are no absolutes in life. The rules in the game are rigidly structured to insure the competition. We like honest competition. There has been a lot of talk about how unfair competition is and how we do not like it. If that was true then why do watch so many sporting events in this country?

Enough of my attempting to lecture. If you want to call it that.

There was a television show called Sports Night
that was on ABC from 1998-2000. It was a series about the behind-the-scenes of a sports talk TV network. The show was best known as being called by several critics as being “The Best Show You Are Not Watching”. The show may have been about a sports network but it was not always about sports.

It did have one of my favorite scenes on television. Let me give you some set up about the scene. The sports network is in 3^rd place by a distance in the ratings. There is a lot of pressure from the corporation that owns it to improve the ratings or else there are going to drastic actions taken. The following scene is about the pressure being applied. In this scene there are two characters you need a little more information about to grasp the situation. There is the show’s managing editor Isaac Jaffee (played by Robert Guillaume) who has come back after surviving a stroke. The network is trying to use this as a reason for his replacement. Sam Donovan (played by William H. Macy) is an outside expert who has been hired to fix the show.

Click here for the scene. I was unable to embed it into this posting. So please watch it before reading on.

My favorite part of the scene is the anecdote about Cliff Gardner. I think that he is the type of person many of wish we could find more often in our lives. The person who can help provide you with what you need to accomplish the goal. Too often people like to be in the way then be helpful. They would rather point out how you fail rather than point out how they may be able to help. And the people who talk the most more often than not are the ones who will do the least. We all have skills but we all cannot be skillful in everything. But any person who thinks he is the “smartest” one in the room is setting up his ego for big letdown. It is hard to find those willing to help. There are too many people out there like the network people in the scene. They think they are the smart ones and they feels this entitles them to act like bullies and dictators. It’s a petty power play to hold back “knowledge” in order to control people. In the end, more times than not these types of people are the real “idiots”. It is like a kitchen where everyone thinks that the “cook” is what makes it happen. But in reality the kitchen is run by a group of people working together to produce the “meal”. Example, the dishwasher is treated as “low man” of a kitchen but what good is a meal if it is served on a dirty plate.

We are all trying to create or be a part something that is bigger than ourselves. We can be aware of what we need to do. But we cannot have the skill level needed to get the job done. Example, we all can put a bad-aid on a cut but we also know that if the cut is severe enough to need stitches. And the majority of us do not have the skill to put in the stitches but we know how to go about finding the person to do it.

And on a technical note. Watch how Sam moved the network people through the scene and where he stops to talk to them. Personally, these are the things I look at when watching TV. I am not saying that I am “smart” for noticing these things. It is just that I watch TV differently than most of the people I know. I study TV and film in order to be a better writer/creator of such things. It is part of the process.