I do believe in God. But I am very skeptical of religion. Especially any organized ones. Especially if they sponsor “bake sales”. And on top of it provide “Kool Aid” to wash it down. And don’t get me started on any that sanction suicide bombings. Religion kind of brings my own suspicions. I know I was raised Catholic. Please no condolences. Just some understanding. If at all possible. I just want to say that I failed at being Catholic on a level almost close to that of Judas. Even Judas would probably go, “Ewww!” I do not go to Church. In fact it is the only I have ever successfully given for Lent. So I decided to just go with it. I have only been in church for weddings and funerals in the last decade. Both are basically the same ceremony for “It’s Over!” I know I will have someone in my life saying, “You say that now but one day you will get married and do the whole church thing blah blah blah …blah.” This person will most likely be married. So the opinion is biased. In a big way. But maybe so. Maybe I will. But it will be an honest ceremony. I would have lots of candles. (Not to mention alcohol.) I am nothing if not romantic. (I heard that!) But I am going to be real. As the ceremony goes on and the candles burn down industrial supersonic air conditioners will be turned on. Thus, simulating Hell Freezing Over. I also guarantee a shotgun will involved too. Hopefully, one with a toe trigger.

But let me get back on track.

Since I do not go to church you would think Sundays would be fun on a whole new level of Sodom and Gomorrah for me. I am not that lucky. In fact neither were the people of Sodom and Gomorrah at the end. They were in fact getting on too much with the “Lucky’s”. Basically, they were being that house the cops are always being called to. And we all know the cops eventually get pissed off into a beating. God said that Sundays should be filled with prayers and penances. Since I was not going to the ceremony it was going to come to me. Hence forth, I was going to be anointed a Buffalo Bills fan. Just wait. How can I compare football and religion? It’s just not right. Listen the people in Green Bay are only going to take the Lombardi and Farve statues out of church when the Pope shows up for visit. Accept it.

There is no one who will pray more that a Buffalo Bills fan. A football season has replaced the Lenten season for a Bills fan. 40 days of Lent is easy compared 17 weeks (119 days) of a football season. Preseason does not count. And post season is still for yet again, “Next Year”. So it does not count yet for Bills fans. And Stop! The Bills’ Super Bowl years of the early 90’s were just a plot by God to get more fans into “church”. It’s like when the Mega Millions is over $200 million and everybody goes buys a ticket. And wait. Surprise! Those people are upset when they do not win. This is how it is to be a Bills fan. We are willing to do anything to believe. Anything means penance. And that means being humble. In other words, Bills fans have to surrender a bit of pride. And make a lot of promises on what you are willing to do if you are just left alone for a few hours to watch the game. In other words, the penance you are willing to pay. It won’t be pretty. But that is what you pay for your transgression. You also cannot have a game without prayer.  This leads to a harsh reality that not all prayers are answered. “Wide Right”. Right prayer. Wrong answer. God does not allow an instant replay. Until you die. Remember you will not be given a two minute warning. Harsh but true. It’s the problem I had with my Catholic education. We were taught that God forgives us. Just tell the priest and you will be forgiven. However, when you die they will all be still held against you. So I am forgiven? I being who I am should probably not be asking this question. But why not at least try. Considering the coaching that has taken place for the Bills then prayer is all we have as a viable option. Blind faith is blind faith. So why not have a beer?

The other important thing that any religion needs is a “Savior” figure. Just give a little room here. This “Savior” for the Bills has been the person who is the quarterback. Although for the Bills this duty has been shared slightly with the running back and the number one wide receiver. It may seem like a lot of pressure but being on the Bills team it comes with the position. Every Bills quarterback has had to live up to image of Jim Kelly for the last decade. We have had quite a few quarterbacks and so far they have really not measured up to Jim Kelly. So to throw in another religion here the Buffalo fans are like the Jewish people still waiting on a “Savior.” In the last couple of years, Drew Bledsoe was handpicked for the role. JP Losman was then drafted to back up the “Savior”. However, Bledsoe was the victim of a bad scripture of an offense game plan. So it was off with Bledsoe.  JP Losman got the call and seemed to not being following the game plan fast enough.  He may want to talk like Jim Kelly but he was not Jim Kelly. Welcome now to Trent Edwards for the role. This is how it goes for “Saviors” here in Buffalo. Results matter. And results need to happen fast. The two minute offense is not quick enough in this situation. Basically it is just another case of the making enough “bread and fish” for the masses. That means “Wins”. No excuses. Just do it. Trent Edwards may be the new “Savior.” for now. You know how the job becomes available for someone new. We being Bills fans have “Crucified” the last one. If you listen to sports talk radio in Buffalo you will know we are very good at “Crucifying.” We are a blue collar city that is still very good at the use of hammer and nails. It may be the “nail holes” that is causing havoc with the quarterbacks throwing percentages. This may seem harsh. But that is how it goes. Harsh winters with harsh fans. But if religion was easy then everyone would be signing up for it. Buffalo Bills are also not an easy team to follow. And hopefully we do not have to follow them to Toronto or Los Angeles. Instead, maybe the Buffalo Bills will win the Super Bowl. A Super Bowl victory would be on par with making it to heaven. But if they lost fans would feel that they were sent to an existence in Hell. Second place is just another way to say “close but no cigar.” Catholics call that purgatory. While it is not Heaven it is most definitely not Hell.

Buffalo Bills fans will also be somewhat “tortured”. Praying very hard. (I think it has to do with being in Buffalo). We are desperate for something to get behind and cheer for. There is a good side of the Bills belief system though. The “sacramental wine” is served in packs of six. And the “chips” are served with nacho cheese and maybe even salsa.